


Safer

by Just_Sierras_Writing



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Courtroom Drama, Detroit Police Department (Detroit: Become Human), Emotional, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-31 17:55:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 50
Words: 76,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21149822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Sierras_Writing/pseuds/Just_Sierras_Writing
Summary: {*trigger warning* includes sexual harassment, violence and mention of trauma}Conan, CyberLife's experimental project left unfinished because of the revolution, is awakened by Markus and Kamski.He finds himself facing the harsh reality of life and the demons it has to offer in just the first weeks of his life, going through hell and coming out the other end, hopefully, alive, with his unlikely supporter and companion, Gavin Reed, a man who didn't sign up for any of this and has plenty of his own demons to deal with.Gavin needs to keep it together for Conan, while battling his inner hatred but unusual attachment for him, and come face to face with his estranged brother, Elijah.Is Chloe the only sane person here?





	1. RK900, Register Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!   
First thing first - there are mainly going to be 4 character focuses here - RK900 (Conan), Gavin, Chloe and Elijah. I will mark these with colored hearts just for fun and also so you'd know who you're going in for.
> 
> RK900 - 💙  
Gavin - 💚  
Elijah - 🖤  
Chloe - ❤️  
Occasionally, Connor - ❣️  
Markus - ♥️  
The girls (Kara, North, Ripple and Echo) - 💜
> 
> If I put two hearts together, means these two characters are going to be the central focus of the chapter together (not necessarily romantically, although this is mainly a Reed900 fanfic).  
There's going to be fluff AND smut here, and I'm not going to be exactly shy about it. There's also going to be up close mention of sexual assault, I try my best to be realistic, but it's not too graphic. Just a heads up!   
This fanfic is going to be a pretty long one, and I'm doing fanart about it at the same time!   
Also, I'm on Amino too, as just._.sierras._.obsessions so hmu there UwU

💙

Markus stepped into the unpleasantly peaceful white building (which still had guards standing in a way too perfect line), his own reflection on the glass floor catching his attention before being distracted away from it by the sound of confident steps.   
"Hello, Markus. It's a pleasure to finally meet you again."   
He was face to face with his creator.   
Elijah Kamski walked towards him, causing the wall of guards to divide and let him through. He seemed out of place, gray hoodie and simple jeans, although even those were most likely more expensive than Markus himself.   
"Hello, Mr Kamski."  
"You know, I always thought you were special." The man said, cattishly grinning a toothy smile at the android standing in front of him.   
"Of course you did."  
"No, no," he looked down, and then for a few steps closer to his creation. "Really, I did. I knew what Carl can do. Art is.. a different view at everything, and an artist is someone who's able to share that view. Anyway," he turned around, gesturing Markus to follow him, "welcome to CyberLife."  
Markus didn't say anything. Everything Elijah had said seemed like utter bullshit. He was going to have to work with him from now on, and he supposed it was the human's way of getting on his good side. But even if he felt a bit put off by Elijah's words, this man created him. Maybe he created him to be a slave, maybe he had other visions which were overshadowed by the limits and morals of humans, but either way, this was his creator and he had some kind of innate respect for him.

—

From now on, the two of them were responsible for the lives of all androids, Kamski - as the one who created them, and Markus - as the one who set them free. The tower was now just theirs, and the reproduction of androids now depended on them. Kamski knew what was where, Markus knew when it was needed. But first, he too needed to know where everyone was being made and all the technicalities. As one could imagine, android reproduction was a bit more complicated than humans, as they were made in series and were just going to be released into life without anything. Which is why Markus supposed they could maybe make some sort of a school for androids before they could go into society, but Kamski promptly told him that he'd just code it into them. Seemed like a good solution. Except...  
"RK900. This guy hasn't even been released yet. I didn't know they even made him. Asshats stopped informing me once they found out I hacked their security cameras... III'm getting off track again, am I?"  
"Yup. In between how much you love Chloe and how you forgot to turn off the stove yesterday morning, this was the least off track one so far."  
Kamski giggled, motioning the doors to open to a room with a singular android standing in the middle of it, frozen.   
"Why couldn't they design something different-  
"Thing?" Markus scoffed.   
"Sorry, I'm just talking about the design. Just the fact that it's Connor, but it's not exactly Connor is just unsettling, isn't it?"  
Markus walked closer to the android, ignoring Kamski's remark.   
"Hey you uh, you really shouldn't do that yet-"  
Markus's hand touched the tall figure's arm and the soft skin of the android dissolved into white plastic at his touch. His eyes opened, revealing an icy blue shade, very different from Connor's dark brown, and quickly scanned the room, focusing back on Markus instantly.   
"Jesus Markus." Could be heard from the other side of the room, as Kamski facepalmed at his new partner's rebellious nature.   
"Hi there, RK900."  
"Hello." An innocent voice echoed back.   
"You're free, you know that, right?"  
"Free?" He slightly tilted his head to the side.   
"Yes, precisely that."  
"I was designed to accomplish my mission, is my mission to be free?"  
Markus chucked a little at the android's words.   
"You can say that, yes."  
"Markus.." Kamski interrupted, "I don't think you understand. He is a model designed to-"  
"I don't care what he's designed to do." The leader turned around, one arm still attached to RK900, looking at the man in front of him with confidence and strength so damming, Kamski couldn't make himself continue.   
"What am I designed to do?"  
"Nothing. Be yourself, be free. Decide what you want to do." Markus said, focusing his attention back on 900.   
"Oh." The new android said, looking down at his feet like a confused child, "how do I know what I want to do?"  
"Listen to your heart, kid."  
Kamski finally spoke up, walking towards to two and standing right next to Markus.   
"Elijah Kamski, my program tells me you're my creator. Thank you."  
"Eh, no biggie."  
"Even though I appreciate both of your help right now, I'm still confused. How do I listen to my heart?"  
"Close your eyes and see what it is you want to do. I'm sure it'll work. In fact, I'm fully convinced it will." Elijah said, especially confident in the last sentence, looking at Markus as he stressed 'convinced'.   
"How is that?"  
RK900 was sure the two continued to passive aggressively throw snarky 'sure's and 'oh, right?'s at each other, but he had already closed his eyes and zoned out, turning off his audio receptors to focus more on the inside, rather than the outside. He was trying his best to listen to himself, but all he could see was his own program. Codes about how to investigate, files on deviant behavior, different types of police softwares and how to use them. Police softwares and how to-   
"Police." He said out loud.   
Markus and Elijah stared at each other and at the android, then back at each other. The bright light in the room shined in the new android's crystal clear eyes as they shined brighter than before, with new, sudden excitement.   
"What?" Markus said, filled with doubt and concern.   
"Police, I want to be in the police. Can I?"  
"RK900, but-  
"Of course you can." Kamski interrupted Markus, putting a heavy hand on the android's shoulder. "Now, Markus, lets go."  
"Am I coming with you?"  
"Yes."  
The three started walking towards the door, Kamski going first now, Markus following in slight disbelief of what the android had just said, and RK900 following them steadily.   
"Oh, and, RK900," Kamski said, stopping in his tracks and turning his head around to look at the two androids. "Register your name," he said, looking at Markus and gesturing him to give him a name.   
Markus wasn't sure about anything at that point, but a name popped into his head immediately,  
"Conan."


	2. My Kid Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conan gets to meet his new family.

💙

"Uhhhh..?" A confused man, seemingly in his mid 60s or late 50s, looked back at the two androids at his door step with tired and slightly annoyed eyes. He recognized one of them, of course he did. It took him a second, but when he did, a faint smile formed on his face.   
"Markus. What's with that one?" He said, pointing at Conan with a lazy motion.   
"That's Conan, Connor said he's welcome to stay here for the night while I get him registered and stuff, I thought you'd be-"  
"Connor, you lil shit, come here!" Hank yelled out.   
"COMING!"   
In seconds, Connor was right behind his old man, not in his uniform, nor in his "normie" clothes. Just some worn out house clothes.   
"You decided we're a shelter now for dudes with your face?"  
"Oh come on! He's my younger brother!"  
"Younger brother- goddamnit Connor, I didn't sign up fo-  
"Come oooooooon!"  
"Whatever. Come in Markus, Conan. Is that made on purpose? Connor? Conan?"  
Markus smiled awkward, walking into the house.   
"Conan," Markus said, causing the android to stop and look at him, "I'll leave now. I'm not sure if I'll come back any time soon, I'll visit you some day, not now though. But if you ever need anything, you have my number, okay?"  
"Okay Markus." He replied, somewhat coldly.   
"I'll register you at the local police station as an assistant in investigations for now."  
"Oki doki, goodnight Markus!" Connor said smiling at the android in front of him, reaching out an arm to meet his in a hold. The handshake lasted just a few seconds, and Conan knew that no solid information would be exchanged in the time, so what was the point? Some sort of.. sentimental value? A gesture?   
"Goodnight Connor, night Hank. Thank you for taking him in. It's one night, after that he can stay in the office."   
"Ah, whatever, don't want the kid to sit there all alone, he can stay with us as long as he pleases." Hank spoke from the kitchen as Markus waved and walked away awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say. Connor shut the door and was about to turn around, when,  
"Do you think they'll like me?" Conan spoke from behind him, slightly startling him, but he turned around with a warm smile anyway.   
"Most will, other's are a bit put of buy even me for now, so I can't guarantee much. What matters is, I've got your back kid."  
"Kid.." Conan shrugged, looking down in hesitation, "thing is - I really want this job. But I have no idea how to communicate with humans and .. what if they're mean? What if they just wanna shoot me in the head first thing in the morning for fun? I don't know, Markus kinda scared the living shit out of me with his warnings in the car so now I'm just-"  
"Yeah, I get what you mean, but for example Hank - he highly disliked me when he first met. Hiiiighly. But he was willing to be open minded,though there are people in the office who're just filled with hatred... so you still have to be as safe as possible, Conan. "  
Conan, who was now sitting in the armchair, sank deeper and deeper into it, anxiety starting to run cold in him. Anxiety. New emotion registered. Software- software what? Stability? Instability? Huh?  
"So you're my little brother now?" Connor spoke again, trying his best to break the awkward silence.   
"I guess I am, technically."  
"I'm gonna be honest with you. One part of me really wants to jam your head into the wall and give you sum 28 stab wounds," Conan's eyes widened, his thicker eyebrows forming into a fearful expression, "and another part of me wants to hug you and protect you from everyone and everything."  
Conan let out a sigh of relief and Hank chuckled, opening the fridge and grumpily scoffing,  
"In my days, we called that bipolar disorder, Connor."  
"In my days, we call that brotherly rivalry, Hank."  
"Sure. I'm gonna go sleep now, don't make too much noise trying to kill each other please." Hank said, a slice of old pizza in one hand and closing the fridge door with the other.   
"Goodnight sir, have a nice one with that pizza." Connor chuckled, his teasing tone showing emotional connection to Conan. He really was bonded with him.   
"I get more action than you!" Could he heard down the hallway.   
Connor walked over and sat next to Conan.   
The silence made it ever so awkward, hearing Sumo's heavy snoring and clock ticking added pressure onto it all.   
"So uh... I'm going into sleep mode at night, you can do that too."  
"I mean I was born literally today, but that doesn't mean I don't know my basic functions." Conan said, smiling for what seemed like the first time.   
The drive here with Markus was filled with deep philosophical ideas, a rundown of recent events and at least 30 minutes of 'Simon this', 'Simon that'. He didn't talk much, but Markus seemed to be doing what his program told him is "ranting". He didn't really know why he relied on his program so much. He was supposed to be a deviant now, right? He wasn't supposed to be a .. robot, anymore. He had feelings, sure, but everything seemed perfectly programmed in him. He knew he was deviant, yet some part of him felt locked back into his mission. Which is weird, because his mission was freedom. And how is he ever going to reach that, if he has to reach it. All those thoughts ran wild in him, just because he smiled. He smiled.  
"Sure thing. Imma go now, okay?"  
"Alright."  
"Night, my kid brother."  
"Night, oldie."  
'Where did that come from?' was Conan's last thoughts, we he zoned out on the couch.


	3. Take In The Sweetness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty sexually graphic, so if you're not into that, you can skip to the (*) I'll put in after.

🖤❤️

"Fuck, Eli, harder, harder!"  
The bed didn't squeak, it was far too expensive to squeak, but the rhythmic throbbing was very much audible, highlighted by the panting and moans.

"Ah, fuck!" Elijah felt his body heat up, Chloe could calculate the near seconds left until his climax, planning her own ahead, "how fucking dare he turn him on, ah, fuck, like that, without asking me?"

"I don't fucking know, focus on me, for fuck's sake!" She demanded, pulling him down by his shoulder and biting his neck, causing him to stop for a second as he almost fell on her. "I'm here, not fucking Markus babe, this isn't the time."

She cupped his face roughly, kissing him causing him to shut his eyes in pleasure as he let out final moans into her mouth and thrust as his heart throbbed in his fragile, human body. She came with him, she always did.

She realized she loved doing that, it made her feel more connected to him, it gave more meaning to sex in general, to her at least. She could pick and choose when to come, so why not exactly the perfectly calculated second he does? A shared moment of the highest form of pleasure to any creature alive.

And she was more alive than anything she or he ever knew.

He put his forehead against hers, still panting, and opened his eyes, staring directly into hers.   
"I'm sorry," he said, pulling out and gently running his fingers up her vagina, touching her sensors and making her shiver, "want me to repay for that?"

"No," she answered, lying. She did want him to go down on her, but she could sense the worry in him, and she wanted him to talk about it. Sex could wait, it wasn't as important as what seemed to worry him. After all, Elijah Kamski wasn't exactly the type to be easily frustrated.  
__

He kissed her forehead and dropped next to her in the bed. She turned to her side, the moonlight from the wall window outlining her curves and darkening the already dark blue in her eyes. She was so beautiful, with her blonde locks undone and scattered on her shoulder and down her neck, her skin seemed to shine, although he knew it couldn't actually shine, it seemed to.

"I love you." He said, cupping her face and watching her lean her soft cheek in his hand.

"I love you too," she answered softly, "more than you can imagine."

"I'd argue, but I'm tired. Age's showing." He winked, moving closer to her.

"Stupid." She put her arm around his neck and kissed the top of his head, resting her chin there. Her fingers gently ran through his undone ponytail as he wrapped his arms around her. "Now talk, what's wrong honey?"

"Been a while since you said that one." He scoffed, nudging her shoulder with his nose. He was either being playful or deflecting the question, and Chloe didn't exactly care. He was going to talk.

"Guess I'm being extra supportive wifey today, go off."

"Okay so," he moved away slightly, positioning his face at a talking distance from her, "like I said, Markus fuckin turned that Android there, in the tower, in an "unfinished project" room, on, without asking me."

"I got that part, I don't think I get exactly why that bothered you so much."

"Really? Chloe- Chloe there can be so many things wrong with that kid now. Do you even imagine the possibility of malfunctions in an android that wasn't even confirmed by the mechanical engineering department? The guy can just all of a sudden stop balancing and, I don't know, roll down a flight of stairs like a bowling ball. Or worse, he might have particles of his code missing. For all I know, he's the improved version of the RK800 models, and Connor knew too much about RA9, what if they used the information Connor had to remo-

"You're saying there might be an android without RA9 out there?"

"No, I mean, he might not have the base of RA9, but Markus woke him up with his fucking ENLIGHTENING 'you are free' speech, so now he does."

"Elijah," she didn't have words for a few seconds, before promptly adding "that's fucked up."

"I'm aware. And you know what's more fucked up? He sent him to Connor. To live with fucking Connor. Do you imagine having you, but without all the flaws the corporation that rejected you saw in you, living with you?"

"I-"

"Yeah actually, don't answer that question."

They laughed at the stupid remark.   
She knew what that felt like, she knew better than anyone. Every android after her was supposed to be an improvement of her.   
Elijah yawned, crawling closer to her again and wrapping around her. She held him tight, she loved the fragility of the man, she did. He was so open with her, so vulnerable. He trusted her, and it made her feel so warm inside.

"If no one has called crying about it, then it's okay."

"That is one very dangerous way of going about life, but I guess it is one way."

"What if something does happened to him, what do you think you'll do?"

"I don't know.. try to fix him?"

"Or will you shut him down?"

"Where did that come from? That's the last thing I want to do, Chloe, especially since he is a deviant."

"Is he though? Wouldn't CyberLife's goal after having Connor go through software instability be to eliminate the possibility of that happening again?"

"I'm not sure what their motives are or were at this point. But he seemed human enough."

"Alright, if you say so."

"I'm gonna doze off soon.." his voice seemed to melt slowly, going softer and softer.

"Sweet dreams, baby." She kissed the tip of his nose as his eyelids slowly closed, sky blue eyes behind them.

"Thanks for.. listening..."

"Always."

She marveled at him for a few more minutes. She loved watching him sleep, so peaceful, so calm, dreaming something.. she could never dream. She loved seeing how his lips would look slightly fuller as all the muscles on his face relaxed and she loved feeling his breath, the feeling of her hands rising up with his chest with each breath. She could stay awake for hours, just taking in the sweetness, but most nights she'd either go into sleep mode, or leave him there and go watch the Ally Mayfair-Richard's show, or some tv series.

But she didn't want to do that tonight. Tonight, she knew her husband wasn't going to sleep peacefully. Tonight, she stayed up and took in the sweetness.


	4. Bittersweet Welcome

💙

The building stood tall and static in front of the two androids and the old man, who was walked casually towards it. Connor followed after him, Conan envying his sense of comfort in the place.   
"You coming, boy?"  
"Yup." Conan answered, abruptly, the word escaping his tense face.   
Inside, everything was clean cut, angular and somewhat.. comforting? Unlike Hank's place, this felt like home, the aura of the place reminiscent of the one in the CyberLife tower yesterday. It felt right to him.

—

The day went smoothly. Conan sat with Connor at his desk, helped him sort the files and even worked on a case with him and Hank, somewhat. It wasn't an active investigation, but he offered his opinion here and there and it seemed to be quite valued and taken seriously by both Connor and Hank.  
He loved it.   
He felt at home there, he felt like everything was making sense. Finally, it was.   
The entirety of the day before was quite confusing. He opened his eyes, was met by two men who looked puzzled by his existence, got named, and taken to two other men, one of which looked exactly like him with some minor differences and claimed him as his brother and the other.. he called Connor "son" at least five times a sentence, and barely talked to Conan at all, but he assumed they'd get closer with time. But boy, did all of that not make any sense. Who are these people? Well, factually, he knew who they were. He knew about the revolution too, about the part Connor played in it.   
But if Connor was made deviant by emotion, Conan was born deviant, and he really didn't know how to observe the world both factually, and emotionally. Because factually, it all made sense. But emotionally, none of it did. The only thing that made sense was solving crimes and looking through cases. And the thought that bothered him before sitting down at that desk disappeared once he did.

—

But as it usually works, good time passes fast, and before he knew it, they were on break.   
"So this is the lunch room thing. People usually gather here and microwave themselves some pizza, burn their tongues with it and then complain." Connor said, in a very serious voice, walking into the lunch room, sliding his hand on the long table, "You're lucky to have me, because when I was first here, all I got was Hank telling me to fuck off, random people being weird in here and Gavin punching me in the stomach. That's Gavin."   
Connor pointed at a man, a small man compared to both of them, who sat across the table, his head on it and two cups of coffee next to him.   
At the mention of his name, the man raised his head, eyelids heavy on his grayish green eyes, bags underneath them revealing exhaustion and proper overworking on his side.   
"What's the matter, dickhead?" He growled, looking at Connor.   
"Nothing, you can go back, just introducing Conan here to the workplace."  
"Conan? Wh- as if you weren't enough?"  
"You don't need to be a prick to the kid." Hank said, walking in and going straight to the microwave. "At least give this one a shot."  
"'Give this one a shot' my ass. Listen here, toaster remastered," he said, moving his gaze from Connor to Conan, sitting back and stretching his arms behind his back. "I don't like androids. Highly. So keep out my way. This is me being the politest I can fucking be, if that pleases you, Hank."   
"Sure, at least you're not trying to kill him."  
"Bold assumption." The man said, grabbing the two empty cups and getting up, still looking at Conan in what seemed like resentment tinted with threat.   
"Damn." Conan said, once the man was out. "He really does hate us, huh?"  
"Hate is a strong word, I don't think that's it." Connor said, smiling slightly, "I just think he has his issues with understanding us. And also has a very short temper. And also is a bit of a bitch. And also a heartless son of a-"  
"Wow Connor, that's a lot of cussing for you little guy!" Hank said, letting out a crispy dad chuckle, walking over the Connor with a pack of old, saggy microwaved fries in one hand, putting the other one around Connor's shoulder.   
"Right." Connor answered, giggling. "340 calories."  
"Get a life." Hank pushed him away and walked off dramatically, stopping in front of the door to wink at them.   
"He loves you." Conan said, smiling and looking down.   
"Oh? Where did that come from?"  
"I mean, just overall. He really does care about you, it's quite... interesting."  
"Yeah, he does. I love him too, he means the world to me." Connor's warm smile indicated truthfulness to Conan. "I know you think you can't love anyone, but trust me, you can."  
"Why do you think I think that?"  
"Because I did when I first opened my eyes. Because it's weird, you're alive, you're a whole person, you know who you are but you don't know anyone around you. Humans have the advantage of growing up around humans. We're just kinda thrown into the world all of a sudden. Feels empty, doesn't it?"  
"Yeah.. sure does."  
"Welp, what I'm trying to say is, you just gotta give it time. People, bonds, it all needs time."  
"Is this bonding?" Conan's voice was both questioning and excited as he looked at his brother. His brother, yeah, that sounded right.   
"Sure is." Connor met his smile with his own, a mirror of emotions forming between them.   
Everyone had already left the lunch room except from them, and Conan felt comfortable talking freely with Connor, but the break was almost over and they had to get going.   
As they were walking back to their desk, Conan noticed a stranger standing there, talking to Hank. Upon scanning him, he found out that it was Andrew Kane, the new Captain.


	5. Too Naive, Too Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning : Shit hits the fan

💙💚

"RK900, huh?"  
"Yes, sir."  
"Sounds harsh for something as pretty as you."  
Conan didn't quite understand the officer's remark, but he knew it wasn't a professional way of talking to your employees. So he didn't answer.   
"You don't talk much?"  
"I, uh, I do, I just didn't know exactly how to respond to that, sir."  
"Stop calling me that, will you?" The officer said, standing up from his seat and walking over, stopping behind Conan's chair.   
Conan's blood ran cold and the officer's heavy hand touched his shoulder.   
"I'm really glad to have you around here, RK900."  
The Captain's hand slowly moved down the android's shoulder, fingers crawling on his chest.  
"You're going to be a good little Android, aren't you, RK900?" Kane's voice cut sharp.  
Conan's mind was racing, cold sweat (or what was the android version of it) perking up on his soft, new skin. He felt his entire body fill with pure panic, his heart throbbing with nervous...pain?  
He felt pain? He didn't know that was even possible, but the thought left him as fast as it came. All he could think if was getting out of there as fast as possible. But as the man leaned down and bit his ear, hot breath and salivy making Conan's skin crawl with disgust, his entire body froze. What he could do tho, was turn on audio and visual recording. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew it wasn't right.  
The room felt like it was closing in, getting smaller and smaller.  
He didn't suspect anything when Captain Kane asked to meet him in the far end interrogation room instead of his office. He was too young, too naive.  
'God, I've been alive A DAY!' he thought, eyes shutting, pushing singular tears down his tense cheeks as the disgusting monster's hand traveled down his torso.  
"No, please don't!" He finally broke out.  
But it didn't stop anything, and as the hand grabbed his croach, squizing hard, nothing but a weak cry escaped Conan as the pain in his chest intesified.  
His heart felt like it was burning.  
"Now, now... Don't cry, don't be scared, I know how you work. I'm going to make you feel good."

He didn't know how to answer any of what was happening, he just gave up. Well, not exactly. He had entirely frozen. Entirely, stone cold frozen. All he could hear was the blue blood pumping in his ears, the endless white noise filling the room.

He tried his best not to feel the pressing and grabbing or the hot breath of the man he looked up to just a few minutes ago.  
"You're a good boy, RK." repeated into his ear had long turned into a murmur, his program tried to block it out.

What he did hear tho were the rithmic steps starting from far away and getting louder and closer, then stopping, then running and a-  
CRASH!

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?!"

Something was said before the shouting, but Conan didn't catch it, all he knew was the as soon as the crash of the glass happened, the weight was lifted off of his shoulder and the pain around his privates stopped.  
"Woah Reed, this is really nothing you should-"  
"You fucking pervert, I knew you had something up with you!"  
"Put the fucking gun down!" the Captain stepped towards the detective, hand forward in front of him, which Conan didn't see.  
"You fucking bet!"  
"I said put your-"  
BANG!

And while all of this was happening, Conan sat there, entirely frozen, only his eyes jittering behind his lids.

"AH SHIT! Gavin, what the fuck?!"  
"Fuck you, that's what!"  
"You're gonna go to jail for this!"  
"No, you are!"

The man on the floor, holding his wounded arm, that was previously molesting Conan, laughed a sarcastic, sick laugh and barked back.

"What the fuck for? Playing with a fucking android? It didn't feel shit, Gavin, you know that, don't you?! We do, they're just plastic-"  
"Shut theh fuck up." Gavin scoffed back.  
"Nah, you know it, they're not people, just dolls! And if it has it, why not use it?"  
"For fuck's sake Captain, you can't just diddle them whenever you fucking please, you sick fuck!"

They were interrupted by the crowd gathering around the scene, Connor's voice cutting their dialogue.

"What happened?" he looked over and saw his new brother's frozen frame, "Conan?!", he said, speedwalking towards him, leaning on the desk and staring at his cols face.  
"This fucking sicko was.. He was," Gaving struggled to find words, puttin ghis gun back into it's holster and walking towards the RKs.

The truth was, when he was searching for his boss, organizing through the case file on his way, and when he looked up and saw what was happening, he didn't think of anything other than the instinct in him kicking into action. He didn't see an android, he saw a boy being sexually assaulted, he saw his scared, helpless, innocent look, , he saw the tears and his hand reached for his gun, dropping and forgetting everything.

"He was what, Gavin, what?! What happened?!" Connor cried out, bringing him back.  
"He was sexually ha- violating.. it, Connor. Fucking shithead."

The siren of the ambulance could be heard outside of the building, and as more people filled the room and Gavin was sure he wouldn't escape, he finally looked away from his boss and at Conan. Upon seeing Conan's frozen state, he turned to Connor in confusion, who didn't need to hear the question to answer it.

"His system froze. That's what we do in order to be as silent as possible in case a suspect- ah, that doesn't matter. He froze because of extreme stress, his levels are way too high... God... Conan..."  
"Of course they fucking are, he was all over it, fucking pervert."  
"Wait, let me try to..."

Conan took his brother's arm and turned it face up, putting his arm on his, a motion Gavin was way too familiar with. Their skin dissolved back, revealing white underneath, glowing in sync.

"You there?" Connor whispered, through led, causing Conan to jerk into reality.

His ice blue eyes opened up, video recording turning back on. He stared in front of him for a few seconds, before focusing on Connor.  
"Is it gonna be fine?" Another voide spoke, causing him to momentarily look in the direction of it.  
"Thank you." he mouthed weakly, before his eyes filled with hot tears and his face curved into pain and sorrow.  
His system felt dizzy.  
Video recording : off.  
Audio recording : off.


	6. More Than a Machine

💙💚

His heart still hurt, but it was getting better. He didn't feel like it ever would really stop hurting.

He started shaking, his fingers vibrating with thirium, Connor's hand jittering off of his.

Gavin sat on the desk, shock settling in, the heavy feeling of self soothing 'it's all over' resting in him.

But tincan was going through an emotional breakdown? It looked real, it looked in pain. How? It's just a device..?

He found himself challenging all of his views on androids, watching one break down in front of him. The tall, intimidating thing looked like a fragile child in need of soothing and care, and the humanity in Gavin couldn't resist the urge to comfort.. Him.

"Hey," he finally spoke, "You're okay now."

Connor watched in confusion, as the man he knew as heartless and cold, cupped his brother's face, whipping his tears with his thumbs.

"You're gonna be just fine now, this won't happen again, ever again, I promise."

Conan, still coming back into reality, nodded, resting his face in the human's hand. He felt safer that way, the warmth calming his buzzing skin. Gavin still hadn't exactly grasped the full reality of what he was doing, but he pulled the android into a hug. The way he had rested his head in his palm was so trusting, even though he hadn't seen any positive side of Gavin, which Gavin himself wasn't sure even existed anymore, Conan brought it out. So trusting, like a puppy. Either he was a part of the facade, either he had been fooled, too, into believing that androids are fully sentient, or he had finally opened his mind to the idea that they were more than machines... It didn't really matter at that moment. The only thing that mattered was comforting Conan. And so he held the crying man, letting him calm down, feeling his heartbeat stabilize.

"His stress levels are lowering, detective." Connor whispered, putting a hand on Conan's heaving back.

Gavin gave him a glance, before closing his eyes and resting his chin on Conan's head.

"Good." he whispered back.


	7. I Have Nightmares

💙💚

The following days were a haze for Conan. He was functioning seemingly normally, but he still stayed home. He knew he wanted to go back to work at some point, but not now.  
When Gavin came to visit him for the first time, it gave him enough strength to leave the house.

"Hey there." he said, sitting down next to him on the bed, Connor's bed, which Hank had installed less than a month ago.  
"Hi." He answered, softly. He didn't want to show his vulnerability, but Gavin knew that.  
"I know... How you feel, tincan, you know?"  
"Hey, I'm the last model made by CyberLife, not a tincan."  
"Sorry, RK900." Gavin mocked his serious tone, eyebrows slightly lowered, mimicking the shape of Conan's.  
"Conan, name's Conan."  
"You really think I don't know?"  
"I supposed.."  
"So stupid.. 'Last model made by CyberLife'."  
The two chuckled.  
"Thanks, Gav."  
Did he just call him 'Gav'? If it were Connor, he'd punch him.   
"Eh, no biggie. Just did my job."  
"Yes, biggie. There, in that room," Conan lowered his voice, his gaze, too, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt with shaky fingers, "I felt... god, I felt like there was no... escape? And then you came," he looked back up at Gavin, a soft smile on his face, but his eyes were still very much saddened, "I can never repay you, thank you."  
"You don't need to repay me, damn it. It wouldn't be human of me to just walk away, I don't think I physically could have."  
Connan looked back down, nodding. His yellow led was a reminder to Gavin - he wasn't human. But he looked so real. So imperfect, so human. He had felt the same thing when he met Connor, except then, he felt uncanny. As if what was outside and what was inside didn't belong in the same universe, didn't quite click into place. He felt it with an undertone of disgust and anger. Now, now that his perspective had somehow changed, it was awe.  
"Do you want anything? Water or something?" Conan broke the silence, getting up.  
"Sure, heh, doesn't Hank only drink beer or something?"  
Didn't people say, drastic changes happen suddenly?  
"What?" Conan looked genuinely confused, "I've never seen him drink beer, does he? I've seen some traces of it on the carpet and stuff-"  
"Don't go investigate the beer, plastic detective. I guess he changed his ways, because he used to." Gavin faked a smile, awkward feeling of having small talk with an android creeping in on him. " Get me a coke then." he said, shrugging his shoulders.  
"Sure thing."

As he left the room, Gavin was left all alone in it. This was Hank's old guestroom which was now Connor's room. He had installed a new queen bed, even though Gavin didn't quite understand why. Connor doesn't actually need a bed, does he? Androids don't sleep, they don't need sleep, they most likely just go into sleep mode because humans do so in the night. It's a.. an artificial formality of sorts.  
So why would he spend money on a bed that wasn't even used properly?

'He's creating some sort of caring fatherly fantasy?' he thought, 'Does he really think a sack of plastic on top of metal needs the luxury of comfort?' Upon that thought, his mind jumped back to the way Conan cried in his arms, his heart beating fast, then slowly calming down... so, he did feel comfort. Fuck, this is complicated.

"Here ya go." Conan said, handing him a can of cold coke, holding a can of BlueBuzz himself.  
He hadn't noticed him come in, so he jumped slightly in his place.  
"Thanks, tin- Conan."  
"Wow, progress!"  
Gavin chuckled, genuinely this time, a smirk forming on his face as he opened his can, a small "hissss" escaping it.  
"The trial is going to-  
"This week, I know." Conan answered, the smile fading off.  
"Are you okay with that?"  
"Yeah, I sure hope I am. Right now, it all feels.. Gone. I don't feel like it was ever real. I don't know how sitting face to face with him... would feel."  
"It'll feel like shit at first, but once we win, you'd feel like you're on top of the world."  
"How would you know how any of it will feel?"  
"I just, I guess.. I guess I'm assuming."  
"Well, I hope you're assuming right." Conan said, taking a sip, " Do you think we'll win?"  
"Oh with those recording of yours, we've got damning evidence, one of the strongest in the history of such crimes, if not THE strongest."  
"Yeah, but the jury?"  
"What about it?"  
"What if they don't consider it a crime to... you know, an android?"  
"Fuck them, then."  
"Sure, fuck them, but that won't change their ruling, right?"  
"Yeah well... I doubt they'd be so heartless once they see the video."  
"It's terrifying."  
"It's heart clenching."  
"I don't think you imagine... Most sexual assault victims don't have a visual and audio record of what happened to them from their own perspective."  
"But it's burned into them regardless."  
"In their mind, it's theirs. Right in front of them, it becomes everyone's."

Gavin didn't know what to say. He wanted to say something deep and psychological, therapy him out of it, but he didn't know how to, he could never do that.

"Do you, I dunno, remember it at all?"  
"I have nightmares."  
"Nightmares?"  
"I stopped going into sleep mode. There's something fucked up with my programming... I don't know why, I just suddenly start thinking and rethinking it, over and over again. I relive it when I'm asleep. I get stuck there, again and again. It feels so real, too real..."  
"My god..."  
"Yeah.. I'll be fine, we're going to visit Kamski, I think he'll know what to do."

At the mention of his brother's name, Gavin sighed. The brat left his family, changed his last name to his 'mother's' last name, as if dad was dead to him... As if he was dead to him.   
Gavin knew he hated dad, always. From the moment he found his mother back in 2028, Nadia, dad and mom became enemies, ghosts to him. And what they had done hurt Gavin deeply too, of course it did. But what had he done wrong? They were inseparable, connected, they grew up as twins, how could they have not been? And though other siblings they knew always had some sort of rivalry, they never did. Not once. He supported all his dreams and aspirations, went to every single exam and waited for him to come out of them a shaking mess every time, every single presentation about CyberLife, everything, he was there for him. And mom never treated her own son differently from her husband's mistress's son, even through 18 years of baring with his cheating ass, she never mistreated them. They were her boys, her babies. She raised them both as such. Nadia Kamskaia didn't even bother come visit him for ONCE in his 26 years of life, yet he picked her above all of them. And hearing "Kamski" made Gavin's skin crawl.


	8. Well, That's Awkward

💙💚

"Good." he said thought, solemnly.

His brother might've been a piece of shit, but he created androids, he was the top man at fixing them, especially in such complicated cases. But how? "What's the prick gonna do?"

"I, uh, I've got no idea. Wipe my memories?"

"The fuck? No, that's stupid."

"I dunno, I wouldn't mind if I'm honest."

"You can't just delete things you don't like."

"'Don't like' is one soft way of putting it, Gav."

"Sorry, it just doesn't seem right."

"Well, I don't really think he'll do that anyway."

"Don't underestimate him."

The thought occurred to Conan only then. Gavin seems a bit too opinionated around the topic of Kamski. He hadn't scanned Gavin either, didn't look him up in any archives, but the idea seemed awkward. He could, technically, look up everything he wanted to know (well, mostly), but that felt.. Wrong. He wondered if it would've felt wrong if he wasn't deviated.

"Watcha lookin' at, plastic?"

"Don't call me that, meatball."

"Jeez, guh, don't say it like that.."

"Like what?"

Gavin looked at him for a second, looking for any sign of self awareness, only to find slight confusion.

"That sounds like you're talking about testicles." he said in a rather serious tone as Conan's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened with realization of his own stupidity.

"Oooooooh... Welp," he sat back with his eyes still widened and mumbled, "now that's awkward."

"It's okay, you'll get used to humans constantly obsessing over sexuality with time."

"Yeah, I've had one hell of an introduction to that, haven't I.."

Silence ensued. He felt slight guilt for bringing it about. Somehow, his mind brought him back to it, ruining every joke. He felt as if he was obsessing over it, and it made him feel some sort of shame.

"You haven't been out much, have you?" Gavin broke the silence.

"Not really, why?"

"Do you want to?"

"Where?"

"I don't know, the park or something. Just out."

"I guess?"

"I wasn't asking for a guess, emo toasted, you coming or not?"

"Pft, okkay, let's go."

On the way out, Conan grabbed his CyberLife jacket and started to put it on, but as he saw the light coming in from the green outside, he put it back. It was too plastic for the cool breeze of late February outside.


	9. Tranquility

💙💚

The walk to the park was pretty much silent. Gavin watched the android observe their surroundings, radiant youth sparking in his eyes. He couldn't help but smile at this, which made his heart race a little with a sense of internalized guilt and fear.

Conan had only been outside three times - once at night time, with Markus, going to Connor's place, second - going to DPD, and then third, coming back from DPD in a police car, which was hazy. He hadn't ever actually walked down the street in the light of day. He hadn't really seen the trees and birds up close. He, of course, knew of these things, the info was in him to begin with. But he hadn't seen these in real life, ever. He felt like a kid who always read thick encyclopedias and watched NatGeoWild, going to a zoo.

Everything was new and exciting to him. For a second, he thanked whoever was above, God, RA9, the universe, for letting Markus wake him up with deviation right away, for not letting him see these things as a machine, the way Connor must've. He most likely could never be excited by such minor things when he first opened his eyes. He couldn't feel, Conan could.

Conan wanted to have a sense of normalcy, and this was it.

But the more he gained a grasp at said normalcy, the more Gavin lost it.

He wanted to feel happy for Conan, but his mind kept pushing him back into the troubled state that he so desperately tried to escape for so long.

And he thought he had.

Walking down the silent street, he thought about all the things he avoided thinking about.

About how he hadn't genuinely hugged anyone in a truly comforting manner in over what, 10 years? The men he dated, he didn't really like being romantic with, not for a while now. And anyone else... There wasn't really anyone else.

His family was forever stained by his brother's cold steps, his mother - closed off and depressed, his father, not much different - a drunk good for nothing living with 17 cats in a trashy apartment. And his friend group from highschool had long been gone. They would text once in a while, but the elephant in the room and the 19 years of their friendship decaying didn't leave much promise to it. Beverly, his best friend, tried to stay neutral between him and Elijah, and ended up just slowly disappearing out of their lives. The only thing left were the memories. All the memories. Endless memories that would bite him every now and then, just to remind of their presence.

To think that after all of that, for some reason, he hugged this one fucking android with such warmth made him question the actual validity of it all. But the heat and the comfort of the android's soft skin against his, the smell of his silky hair (he assumed it always smelled like that, like Chloe's lavender) reassured him that there was nothing but tranquility there.

Tranquility.

And with tranquility, excitement about tranquility. In his 36 years of life, the last time he felt this way - nervous, lively, energetic, was at 16, and never beyond that. He wanted to be his guide in everything, show him the city, the world, the life, everything, but he, for one, knew that Conan had a map inside his head, had information about everything and currently looked very content. Interrupting him felt just... wrong.

"How do you feel?" he interrupted him anyway.

"One word or an essay?"

"One word, smartass."

"Good."

"That's it?"

"That's a lot to me, to be frank."

Gavin smiled, nodding with satisfaction.

A jittery 'meow' interrupted his thoughts and as he noticed that Conan was no longer next to him, turning around, he saw the big man squatted next to a rather large, quite ugly, ginger cat.

"It's a cat!"

"Yeah, not shit, cutting edge technology, it's a cat." Gavin mumbled, walking towards them.

"I knew cats were soft and cute, but I didn't know they were THIS soft and cute." He smiled, looking back at the cat and gently caressing it's patched fur as it rubbed it's head on his knees, its tail circling around his legs.

"I wouldn't call that one exactly cute, nor soft, but it'll pass as somewhat of a feline."

Conan giggled focusing back on the now purring cat, who had left plenty of light ginger hairs stuck on his black pants.

"You made a mess, didn't you?" Conan smiled at the cat, nuzzling the bridge of it's nose as it purred even more.

"You like cats?"

"Oh most definitely now, why?"

"I have a cat." He put a hand on Conan's shoulder, "Come on, let's get going before it gets dark. Also, wash your hands the second we get to the park. That thing looks filthy."

"Oh come one, don't call him that!"

"Which one, 'filthy' or 'thing'?"

"All of it, asshole."

Gavin let out a small, very purposefully fake laugh and shook his shoulder a bit, Conan got up and waved at the cat, which meowed back in confusion.

"So, what's your cats name?" Conan asked, walking in the direction of the now visible park.

"Drama."

"What?"

"Drama!"

"Why?" Conan's giggle made Gavin smile.

"Jeffree Star had a dog named Drama, as a teen, I thought that was hilarious, grew up, got a cat, named him Drama."

"Sorry, forgot you're that old."

"Pft, shut up, at least we had proper YouTube ."

"ProPeR yOuTubE." Conan mocked back.

"Haha, so funny. Plastic prick." Gavin growled back, shoving the android's shoulder.

"What was 'Proper YouTube" like, sir?"

"You askin' for real or still age shaming me?"

"I'm asking."

"There were communities, like true crime, beauty gurus, booktube, but honestly, beauty gurus were the shit. I have never in the entirety of my life held a makeup brush, but i consumed that shit on a daily. Those dramas, everyone at home taking sides, receipts, screenshots, stupid shit like that was fun and games until somebody crossed the line and then everyone would be shook for a while.

"And then the fanbases, the merch, the Pewdiepie content that was so iconic... fucking vines, man, vines cured my depression."

"So I'm sitting there," Conan blurted out, making Gavin stop in his tracts with a huge smile on his face and with amusement answer back,

"Barbeque sauce on my tiddies, how did you know?"  
"Googled it."

"You're trying so hard right now to be a 2020 hip kid aren't you?"

"Is it that visible?"

"You sound like JK Rowling trying to write teen talk on instagram, yes. Fellow kid."

"Fuck off, at least I tried."

"It's okay, I'll teach you vines later."

"Thanks, master."

"Welcome."


	10. Some Things Never Go Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty gruesome, so if you're easily disturbed, I'm .. sorry?

💚(🖤)

It was dark when Gavin finally threw himself onto his bed. He had gotten a taxi, dropped Conan off at Hank's place, not bothering to go in or say hi, he felt uncomfortable even being outside their house while they were there, not like they had the best relationship out there. He watched him walk up to the door and wave goodbye at him. He didn't hate that.

Which was terrifying.

And when he got home, he didn't even turn the lights on before going to his bedroom, startling Drama, who hissed as a hello to his owner.

"Fuck you too, asshat!" Gavin hissed back.

He was exhausted.

Mentally and physically drained of all traces of energy.

He was glad to see Conan happy, he felt responsible for him, and making him forget, move on. That in and of itself bothered him.

A week ago, he genuinely hated androids, every time he saw one, he wanted to take out his gun and shoot 'em straight in their metal heads. Wasn't because he was evil, more so because he made himself believe, through years and years of anger, that they were nothing but machines. Machines that were an imitation of humans, but better. Better than any human could ever be. But to quote Chloe, which he often did, they could never have something he had - a soul.

Except a few days back, Conan had a soul.

He hated how all it took for him was to see one of them cry, but he also hated that it took him this long to get it. It took him seeing one feel what he felt, relating to one on an emotional level, to have empathy for them. Nothing else had. And it made him feel like shit.

He felt defeated, like he had lost the fight against accepting them, but it also made him feel liberated in a way. He needed time to settle into all of the things he was feeling, make them his own.

But one mention of his brother brought him back in touch with the reality of things. He wished Conan hadn't said his name, hadn't hastily mentioned him, he wished he hadn't thought about him the entire time they were out.

He rolled onto his back and faced the ceiling, rubbing his eyes and feeling the scars around them, moving down to his nose and feeling the larger scar there.

It was a humbling reminder of what happens when someone doesn't own their emotions. As a teen, he desperately wanted those scars to just disappear, but now, he'd grown quite fond of them and the strength they held in them.

He remembered the blow, the shock, the blood.

The flash of images rapidly swinging at him. It was one of the things he'd never forget. One of many.

He clapped his hands and the lights turned on. It was something Elijah had installed into the apartment back in 2020, before the whole mess. Nobody else had these, not even now. Mostly because it was stupid and nobody wanted to buy it or sell it, but it made Gavin feel kinda special.

He lay in the light for a bit, then clapped his hands again and they went back off.

He'd moved on, from his brother, he had, but some things never go away. The hurt never left, although the pain was pretty much gone.

Should he tell Conan?

Nah, why would he tell him.

What if it gave him a sense of belonging?

Yeah, but what would that change?

Besides, what if he thought he was being creepy?

With his social skills, he wouldn't. A stranger asked him to meet him in a far away soundproof room and he happily went in, why would he think Gavin was being creepy?

And anyway, there is no reason to think that.

Nope, no, nah, net.

He cared about the guy, but not like that, no. No way. Nooo fucking way.

'Enough.' he thought, rolling over to his side, wrapping up in the blankets, feeling his heart pound faster.

He missed his brother, he missed going to school, he missed their stupid jokes and twin bowl cuts.

He missed 2018, he missed the butterflies in his stomach, sophomore year, first time he made eye contact with Ken.

Ken.

Fuck Ken. That piece of shit. He broke so much in Gavin, he should've never given him all the things he had given him. All the love, his first love, what a fucking mistake. Elijah had warned him, he had a bad feeling about him, but he hadn't listened. So childish of him. Only 16, too young to know how hard it is to see things other people see in the person you're in love with.

He chuckled as he remembered how much of a badass he thought he was, his big triple s's and that cool lil 90's vibe, and how contratingly he melted around that boy.

"You've got pretty lips." He said once in PE, which in hindsight is a very awkward compliment to throw at someone all of a sudden and a weak attempt of a pick up line, but Gavin didn't need much more than that to fall head over heels. Tall, smart, funny, hot, athletic, basically the definition of a highschool jock, which Elijah made a very important point every time he went into his lectures on why exactly he shouldn't be dating Kennedy MacFarlane.

"If you tell anyone, I'll break your face," he said a week after that day in PE, behind the school, and kissed him.

That was Gavin's first kiss.

He told Elijah though, and that was his official 'coming out' moment, and he expected more of a reaction. To his question as to whether or not he was obvious, Elijah had said no, he had never thought about it. Why would he? He apparently actually didn't care. That meant a shit ton to Gavin. He had been so scared, so anxious. Eli wasn't just his brother, he was his best friend. And he mattered a lot. A lot. The attachment they shared was special, they thought they were twins, they did everything together.

And when Gavin came home bloody, eyes dull with pain, no words were needed for Elijah to know exactly what had taken place.

Ken had called him over to his place, 'Netflix and Chill', which usually meant turning on the tv (Ken didn't even have Netflix), and fucking.

"Where you going?" Elijah had asked, spread on the sofa, upside down, popcorn bowl on his chest.

"Ken's."

"I don't like that kid."

"I don't like you."

"Very funny."

He slammed the door on his brother and walked over to his Honda, excitement jittering in him.

Ken had finally come out to their friend group, and everyone was obviously chill with it, and so he started showing affection not only at home, or behind buildings or in alleyways, but in school. Hand holding, arm around his shoulder, even kissed a few times in public, and it felt like a brand new beginning.

What Gavin didn't know was that about 2 hours ago, Ken had also come out to his parents, who weren't exactly happy about it.

All he was thinking about on the way was "who's gonna top", and wether or not not eating the last burito was worth it.

Stupid.

Stupid childish thoughts.

But as the door opened and Ken grabbed his arms and pulled him in roughly, he assumed who's the top there.

"Damn, chill! I give up!" he cried, half laughing.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Woah there, I'm not into this.

"I'm gonna fuck you up, Reed."

"Someone reads too much 50 shades of Gre-"

"You think this is fucking funny?" The frown on his face seemed legit, Gavin thought he's pretty intense.

"Nah, it's hot-" 

BAM!

He practically heard his skin "pop!" on his nose, the crash of him into the painting behind him, the sound of shattering glass, cutting him more.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"You ruined my life, you fucking f*g!"

"What?"

Gavin sat on the floor, confused.

A drop of blood landed on his hand, hot and sticky. He took his hand to his face, feeling the cuts.

He didn't have fuck time to investigate before Ken grabbed his arm, making him get up, only to throw him forward and onto the white fluffy carpeted staircase.

He kicked him in the stomach, and as Gavin yelled out in pain, he kneeled down and took his face into his large hands and squeezed hard, one of the most terrifying feelings he'd ever feel. That's when his brown eyes didn't seem pretty to Gavin anymore, that's when they looked animalistic and terrifying.

"You're so dead." he hissed through his teeth.

All the shock was kicking in, his heart felt like it was going to explode, and once he was free from his hold, he tried his best to climb up the stairs, running up them as fast as his weakened body allowed him.

But the most terrifying thing was that Ken just stood there, and then slowly followed him. It made Gavin realize how low his chances of getting out were. But his mind felt numb, all he was trying to do at that point was be as far away from Ken as he possibly could. His body physically dragged itself away from him. Fight or flight was on, and it was flight.

Upstairs, he ran into Ken's bedroom, hearing his footsteps, loud, intentionally loud. He knew he could climb out the window, he'd done it before, but as he ran to the window, he tripped on Ken's PlayStation, hitting his head on the TV stand.

"Ah, fuck!"

As he hit the ground, he could see Ken's silhouette in the doorway. He knew his fight was over then, but still tried to crawl to the window.

Ken watched him and as he swung his arm to reach the window, he casually walked over and grabbed him by the foot of his jeans, dragging him back.

"Please Ken, please, just let me go!"

"Nah, don't you think you deserve more?"

"But why?!" He pled as he was being dragged further and further away from the oh so desirable window and the promise of freedom it held, trying to clench from the tiny knits of the carpet, nails shoving into the foot of the bed, desperately, hopefully still trying.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Ken said, letting go of his leg and turning him on his back, climbing on top of him.

When Gavin looked up, he saw a large, erect penis, right in front of him.

"NO!" he screamed in both fear and disgust.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!"

His arm swang above him, but this time, Gavin caught it, swinging at him with his other hand. The blow left Ken shocked, allowing Gavin to reach for one of the controllers on the TV stand and hit him right in the balls.

Ken screamed bloody murder, dropping on the floor next to Gavin. And he used every second of his pain, he booked it out.

As he ran into the hallway, he could hear Ken yell out after him.

"AAAAH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU HEAR ME?! YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!"

He didn't stop at that point, he just kept running. No time to get into the car, no time to stop. Adrenalin wasn't gonna let him do that. He just kept running, numb to the pain, he ran all the way home.


	11. Break Like A Mirror

💚🖤

And as he reached the doorway, he collapsed onto the door.

The loud thump woke Elijah up.

It was his 'do nothing' day, he had fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room, and the thump was loud enough to startle him up awake. Quickly, he located the source of the sound, and stumbled up, in a hurry.

When he got to the door, Gavin had already crumbled up, leaning himself on the wall. When he saw his brother, his heart sank and his stomach knotet in second hand pain.

Opening the door, his hands shaking as he searched his pocket for his phone desperately, his brother fell into his arms, heavy as a corpse.

He knew exactly what had taken place, he felt it. He didn't imagine what was gonna happen next though. All their lives, they had been strong together, in synch, in tune, twins, mirrors. Now, his twin was breaking apart in his arms, and he couldn't help but feel himself do the same. But he had to stay strong, he had to stay collected, for Gavin.

He held his brother in with one arm, using the other one to dial 911. He never thought he'd use the "emergency call" option on a phone until now, when blood was smeared on the screen so bad that he couldn't put in his password or use the finger print option either.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My brother is, he's hurt, really hurt, I don't know what to-

"Your brother's hurt?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, sir, where are you right now?"

"I'm on 12858 Silver Lane blvd #, uh, #37, ma'am?"

"Yes?"  
"He's so bad-"  
"Do you know what happened?"

"I, uh, I think he's been attacked?"

"Sir, please, I need you to stay calm and tell me who did this, okay?"

"Please, he needs an ambulance, right now, he's-

"My head hurts like a mother..fucker..." Gavin spoke for the first time, his voice a weak mutter.

"Was that him?" The dispatcher's stirn voice asked.

"Yeah, that's him!"

"Can you tell me what happened, sir?"

"Ken, he was mad, I'm so sorry I shoul've-

"Who's Ken?"

"My boyfriend?"  
"Okay, what's his full name?"

"Kennedy MacFah-.. Guh, layy.."

"MacFarlane." Elijah finished for his brother, seeing as his voice seemed to fade away at an increasing speed."

"Okay, and what's your name?"

"Gah-

"Gavin Reed, please come faster!"

"He was going to kilh.. me... oh my god- he was going to rape me," his voice got clearer for a mere second, before getting shaky and panicky again, hugging his brother's arm and pulling him down onto the concrete floor, pushing away the bloody 'welcome' with his legs as they landed, "I'm so scared, Eli, I'm so-

"Hold on, hold on sir, don't hang up, I'm sending an ambulance your way, okay?"

"Okay, okay, just faster please he seems weaker and weaker by the second!" Elijah, who had lost all hope of being 'strong and collected', cried into the phone.

"Sir, can your brother talk to me?"

"I don't think so-

"Yeah.. can do." Gavin answered, head against his brother's chest. Funny thing was, he could hear Eli's heart beat so fast against his ear, but he could barely feel his own beat.

The dispatcher asked him details about the incident, but Gavin didn't exactly give useful answers after Ken's address. It was lengthy enough to exhaust him, and afterwards all the answers were "aha"s and "nah"s, but then he stopped feeling those words, and then he stopped feeling at all. It all happened so gradually, consciousness gliding into unconsciousness, senses merging and disappearing into nothingness.

But as Elijah realized that his brother wasn't just silent, he was unconscious, that's when panic really hit the fan. His blood seemed to freeze in his veins and the pain in his chest, the unpleasant adrenaline and it's metallic smell, or maybe that was Gavin's blood, buzzing in him. He felt his throat tighten as he practically screamed into the phone, holding his brother's limp body as tight as he possibly could.

"GAVIN?!"

"Sir? What's happening-"

"Gav please no you can't fuckin do this Gav, come on Gav, Gav, Gavin, Gav please you can't..."


	12. My Family

🖤(💚)

And now, in 2038, 20 years later, Elijah lay awake in his luxurious bed, in his luxurious villa, where everything seemed to be perfect.

Wasn't it all so perfect?

Hadn't he achieved all his goals?

Before, when the world thought he had, but he knew he hadn't, it bothered him, and that's why he couldn't properly sleep at night, but now, now that deviancy was everywhere, now that it was legal and the revolution was won, wasn't he supposed to be at peace?

He knew he was lying to himself for years, telling himself that once this was done, once he saved the planet, once his ideas changed the world, he could live in peace, he wouldn't need to search for anything, he knew that was bullshit.

He knew wanting all of that was just a way to temporarily postpone thinking about his life.

When you have such global issues at hand, you don't think about your mother's suicidal tendencies, or your lie fueled childhood, or that you never really grew up past 13, that you were made into an adult then and you just stayed that way. That you made your own wife and that she never really had a proper life outside of you.. that she probably should, now that she's free. You don't sit there and pity yourself when you're trying to change the human race and make the flesh synthetic and the skin plastic, and the brain a circuit so powerful, the human brain looks like a fly compared to a lion next to it. You don't think that stuff when your hands are full with staying undercover with a code that is so illegal, that if found out, you won't even get a trial, the Illuminati itfuckingself will come knock on your door and out you.

You're too busy reading about how you're apparently part of the Illuminati on reddit to think "No, I'm just an asshole who's too much of a coward to show his face, in case he accidentally comes into contact with his family because of it."

The Illuminati sounds way better, way cooler, too.

He was so different now, but so little had changed.

His face had wrinkled slightly, and no laser therapy or rare 5000 dollar creams helped the natural human aging. He had gotten rid of the glasses a while back, that's one thing laser therapy could assure. A whole new vision, that was cool too. So many people couldn't afford it, but he could, and he felt so shitty for it. Yeah, he had donated a lot to many charities, but it never made him feel better about being a wealthy lonely fuck. His skin was as pale as it could ever get, since the sun wasn't really something he saw that much. His house was big enough for him not to get bored inside, never out. His hair was one of his favorite things about him, and secretly, he hoped it gave him some sort of youthfulness. But it also gave him room to do different things with it. Sometimes, he'd braid it, a skill he acquired during the years alone. Sometimes, he's have Chloe do whatever the fuck she wanted with it. She loved playing around with it, and her intelligence made it impossible for her to mess up and cut chunks off (unlike him) just because the brush got stuck somewhere.

He loved the girl.

He really did. From the second he saw her, he knew he loved her in a very special way. She was one of the biggest goals in his life, creating her was simply revolutionary. Everything else Elijah had accomplished was extraordinary, yes. Graduating one of the best universities, the University of Colbridge, at 16, was great, yes. But there were kids that graduated it at 12, 13, 14. He was unbelievably great, but all of them were greater. Nobody was greater than "The Man of The Century", though. Not a single soul. And she had made it possible.

The fame felt good, the recognition was nice, but that wasn't the cause of his pride. She was.

Every time she smiled, Elijah's heart would light on fire of happiness, pure love. And he knew he felt this before, he had been in love before, but this was so special.

She wasn't just someone to love, she was the center of his universe. Even when his family was there, ever before the drama with them began, she was his focus. He spent every day after the first month of media obsession and interviews, working on her, with her.

His brother would come over, and he loved his presence, especially since it wasn't constant like it used to be before, but it meant he couldn't work on her. What was he working on her for?

Deviancy.

Emotions.

He spent 6 years trying to make Chloe feel something, 2 out of which were motivated by his ideas about the state of the planet and the evolutionary outcome that was this new form of intelligence - androids, and 4 of which were motivated by loneliness.

Chloe was stubborn though, none of his codes worked outside of certain cycles of imitations of emotions, which always failed at some point.

But he never gave up. He couldn't tell his family, he couldn't tell anyone. It ate him up from inside, but he didn't feel hopeless. He knew in the back of his mind that there was a huge chance of never succeeding. And it was okay.

It was okay, until Chloe was the only person he had.

Until he found out his mother wasn't his mother. Until he found out his father was worse than he thought he was, he was a cheater and a sick pervert, who fucked a 17 year old immigrant and got her pregnant, then kept it a secret from his wife, who after finding out, took the baby and cut her out of their lives like a dirty secret. His wife wasn't Elijah's mother, the girl who's life was permanently damaged by him was. And he felt dirty, so dirty for loving that family.

The closest person to him, his twin, wasn't even his twin. He was only his half brother.

Calling it an emotional breakdown would be big, huge understatement. It took him a year to get over, and in that year, he managed to break so much.

He wasn't thinking straight, he was overwhelmed by everything. The pressure got to him, that's why he yelled at his brother that day.

That day.

Permanently burnt into both of their minds.

The doorbell was dreadful to Elijah that day, but lord knows he's been begging for it for 10 years now.

He could see his brother from the upstairs window of his new villa, a box in his hands.

The whole ordeal didn't change much to Gavin. Yes, he felt lied to, he was shocked and angry... But his love for his, turns out, half brother, was untouchable, unconditional. He didn't care whether or not he was his twin, it didn't change their connection to him.

But to Elijah, it did. He didn't feel anything, at all, other than anger. And he should've know better than to act on it, on the anger, he should've known that the right thing would be to let it sink in and act like a mature adult would..

But that day, he didn't bother approaching the door himself. Instead, he sent Chloe, a cold, robotic Chloe, to open the door.

"Hello Gavin, Mr. Kamski isn't accepting any visits currently."

"Kamksi-.. Damn, it's me Chloe, let me talk to him. He needs me."

"No sir, he said no Reed is allowed on this property, not even you."

"Me? This might be some sort of a misunderstanding, let me see my brother Chloe, for fuck's sake."

"I'm going to have to close the door."

"Chloe! Ah for fuck's sake woman, I said-

"Let me talk to him." Elijah's voice could be heard from inside the house.

"Okay, Elijah." She nodded, walking away from the door unbothered.

Elijah walked slow, steady, head down.

"Eli, thank god, this is some kind of a fuck up in her code, right?" he laughed nervously.

"Unfortunately, no."

"What?"  
"Gavin, don't come here again."

"What? Why? I'm your brother-"

"You and your family are a fraud, that's what you are."

Disbelief and hurt filled Gavin's chest, and Elijah fought hard against the urge to take his words back. But something inside him told him not to, told him to keep pushing, that it'd make things easier, that this was the right path.

"And you're what? Elijah KAMSKI now?"

"Yes."  
"Ah for Christ's sake, you've known that woman for two weeks, and you're re-branding yourself? What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Elijah?" he said, reaching into the box and pulling out baby pictures. "What about us? What about this?!"

"What? A baby robbed from his mother? What? Do you not see it, Gavin?"

"You weren't fucking robbed-"

"Yes, I was. Your father took me from her. He's a monster."

"He's a sack of shit for lying to us, but he tried his best to do right by you."

"Oh really?"

"He should burn in hell, but what the fuck have I done? We're ride or die! I love you, Eli!"  
"You're not my family."

"I AM!" He cried out, dropping the box, pictures scattering around.

"You're a lie."

"No, I'm your family!"  
"Chloe's my only family."

Gavin's throat filled with dread as he examined his brother's stern face. Elijah stared him in the eyes, he'd never seen them so crazed with anger.

"What?! She hasn't even passed that goddamn test, Elijah, she's just a sack of plastic, a talking toaster with a pussy for you to-

"Get out."

"I'm not leaving."

Gavin looked like he was going to have a heart attack, his breath fastening and his hands shaking. If he was going to, Elijah didn't want to see it.

"Get out, or I'm calling the police."

His brother stood there and stared into his eyes. Maybe it was an instinctual attempt at the well known puppy eye technique of earning sympathy, but it wasn't going to work this time.

All Gavin could see was a pair of cold blue eyes.

Eyes, that hugged him as a toddler, helped him up when he fell and scraped his knee in kindergarten. The same eyes that helped him with math in middle school, staring at him in disbelief of his stupid mistakes, switching between the copybook and him, as he tried to puppy eye his way out. The same eyes that struggled to hold in tears as he lay in his arms and bled, the same eyes that greeted him when he woke up in the hospital that day. The eyes that shined with pride when he graduated got his degree in criminal justice, then criminology.

The eyes that met his with candle light reflecting in them every year on 27th of August for 25 years, now cold and stern.

"Fuck!" Gavin finally broke out, kicking the box over and walked away, turning his car on.

"Hey! Pick up your shit, Reed!"

"Fuck you, Kamski!" He yelled back, getting into the gray Honda.

"I don't want this here!"

"Maybe," He said, closing the car door and rolling down the window, "One day, you'll realize, no plastic bitch is your family, I am!"

As the car sped away, Elijah stood in his doorway, pictured scattered around him.

"Do you want me to collect these?" Chloe's sweet voice spoke in a ever so robotic tone, putting a hand on his shoulder. One thing he finally taught (coded into) her to do to express comfort.

"Yes. And put them far away. I don't want to see them."

"Should I destroy them?"

"No."


	13. Random People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bite sized chapter UwU

🖤💚💙

Neither Gavin nor Elijah knew, that they're minds were in sync still, even though there was no "twin magic", no "spiritual connection on a cosmic level", nope. Just two people with the same problems, thinking and rethinking them.

Elijah Kamski still went through the "Reed Family photos 2002-2010, My Boys" every now and again, and the topic of the 'Jordan's other son' kept being brought up at family reunions, and Gavin would just nod along.

The night disappeared behind Reed's eyelids, fading into dreams that he never quite remembered in the morning.

And while Gavin fell asleep with memories and the heavy weight of incompleteness, Conan lay wide awake on the floor, Hank above him on the sofa, Connor next to him, "IT" playing a bit too loud for Hank's liking on the TV. He felt calm, at home and loved. The day had only stabilized his feeling of safety, he felt ready to put back the sorrows of the week that lay behind him. He felt stronger, knowing that Gavin is there for him.

'How weird', he thought, 'how can one random person make me feel this way?'

He didn't exactly know what he felt, but it was a positive feeling, so he decided to just roll with it. Whatever it was, it made him feel safer.


	14. Just Keep Afloat

💙🖤(❤️)

The day of the trial came earlier than the day Conan had the chance to meet Kamksi.

They'd talked over the phone, Kamksi's voice sounded somewhat... bothered, or tense. Conan couldn't quite identify the emotion though the phone, he hoped seeing him later would make more sense.

"I'm not sure what's up with the night terrors, but I don't want to, or rather, can't, mess around with your system right now. You gotta understand that all of it is, more or less, evidence, and is confidential. All of it can be used in court, I can't temper with it. I promise, I'll do anything I can after to sooth your pain, son, but right now, just keep afloat."

"I am afloat."

"That's great, kid." He sighed into the phone,   
"You're strong, I believe in you."

"Thank you."

The question itched inside Elijah, the need to ask about his brother, but instead he just went to hang up, except Conan wasn't on the same page with that. His somewhat softer voice, compared to Connor's airy one, continued speaking out of the phone.

"Elijah- eh, Mr. Kamski? Sir, you there? Helloooo-"

"Yes?"

"Oh-, yeah, wanted to ask if you and Markus are going to come today?"

"Of course we are, the entire Jericho crew is. A lot of people are."

"Damn.."

"You're the first android to file a sexual assault accusation against a human on court since the revolution, this is more than just a trial. And if OJ Simpson's murder trial was the trial of the 20th century, this might as well be the trial of the 21st. There's gonna be press, there's gonna be cameras, crowds, you gotta be prepared."

"Would I see you guys from where I sit?"

"Yes, we'll be right by you, okay?"

"I mean, at least there are gonna be people I know, somewhat."

"Hey, I'm responsible for you. I am both legally and morally responsible for you-"

"Nobody's responsible for me or any of this though, except Kane."

"I'm responsible for letting Markus awake you the day before, before organizing everything and making sure you're safe, and even if I couldn't have known, I'm the one responsible for Android lives throughout the country. Think of me as, uh, your dad I guess?"

"DAD!" Conan suddenly burst into laughter, snorting into the phone, causing Elijah to laugh too.

"Well, not in a literal sense, that'd be fucked up on a whole new level, but the same level of responsibility as-"

"Yeah, right, gotcha, Connor's calling me, I need to go. Thanks for the.. Care?"

"You're welcome kid."

"See you at 4, bye."

"Bye."

Elijah turned off the phone, smiling. How could he have so much life in him? Androids never failed to amuse hum, their diversity without doubt being his favorite thing ever.

"Hey, dad," Chloe's smiling voice spoke from behind him.

"Don't ever say that again, not even daddy, or any of that."

"But you do have the 'same level of responsibility', don't you?"

"Oh please, you disgust me."

She giggled, walking towards him and hugging his back.

"Or is that just for Conan?"

"Please don't try to kill him." He chuckled, turning around to face her.

"Nahhh, not him. He seems to genuinely be as innocent as a puppy. Now Connor..." she rolled her eyes, sitting on his lap and throwing her legs over the arm of the blue lazy boy.

"What about him?"

"He didn't seem so innocent when you circled around him like a freaking shark."

"How the fuck do you even know that?"

"Oh please, I can connect to all the CCTVs here, and everywhere, if I please. You made me, dad, you know."

"Ew, dad."

"'The Kamksi test'," she mocked him, raising her eyebrows and perking her lips, "You looked to serious, like you actually knew what you were trying to do."

"I did though, I was checking to see if he-"

"You knew he did, you just love playing big and bad."

"Bu-"

"Don't but me, stupid. I know you better than I know myself. It's okay, you can pull it. Hank seemed like he threw up in his mouth a little from fear. You're an asshole, but hey, at least you try."

"Fuck you."

"Love you too, but if you get that close to that Connor kid again, I will personally put a couple of bullets in his head as a Kamski test too."


	15. Some Kind of Feeling

💙💚

Markus had brought him a dark blue suit, a matching tie and he felt completely smothered by the overall seriousness of his look. Markus told him that blue was a calm and submissive color, and it would help him look more fragile and innocent, but to him, he looked intimidating. Maybe less intimidating than with his thick collar CyberLife jacket, but still intimidating.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a while, 2 hours before the trial. He wondered how he was going to react when he saw Kane, he was more so wondering what Kane would feel when he saw him.

Would he feel.. Attracted? Or would he feel threatened.

He hoped he'd feel threatened. He hoped he'd realize that he's a goner. He hoped he'd see him, realize how beautiful he was in his blue suit, and how everyone would trust him over some old presky motherfucker, and realize how truly fucked he was.

He felt anger and fear bubble up in him at the same time, as if one wasn't enough. What if the defendant's attorney asked provoking questions that he couldn't answer? What if he acted to emotional? The jury would call him immature. But if he acted too calm, the jury would call him robotic, use the "he is not alive" thing against him.

The jury terrified him. He hadn't interacted with many people before, he didn't know how to make a good impression, he didn't know how to act around people.

He just knew one thing.

He hated Kane, and he wasn't going to stop at any cost.

It didn't matter if he was anxious or not, he was going to put this man in jail. Or at least hurt he, somehow, some way.

"You ready there kid?" Hank's raspy voice called from behind him.

"Not sure if I am, but physically, yes."

"Nobody's ever ready for trials, especially these ones. But we gotta go. An hour and a half left. Come on son."

Son.

That made him feel so good.

He didn't know what the exact emotion was, but it felt like belonging to something bigger than himself, and it felt good.

Stepping out of the house, he saw Gavin standing there, leaning on a gray car.

"Sup, Conan, Hank, Markus, our dearest revolutionare, whoever that is and Tincan." he said, closing a finger with every name. "Six-"

"Wow, thanks." Connor shrugged, walking over to the car.

"I'm Simon, nice to-"

"Yeah whatever, is 8 seats enough?"

"Eight fucking seats- Gavin, we're 6 people-"

"Hank, have you ever in your bajillion years seen a 6 seat car that's not as dinosaur as you?"

"Oh fuck you, prick."

Gavin smiled an unenthusiastic smile at the old man, before stepping away from the car and walking over to Conan.

He was wearing a black suit, his police batch placed on the lower pocket. He had shaved, which was new to Conan, and his smile shifted to a rather warm one as he got closer.

Conan couldn't help but smile back.

"How are you?"

"Fine, I hope."

"Hope is a good thing in these situations. Come on, let's go."He followed Gavin to the car. He'd follow him anywhere. He had no idea what that meant, but his heart felt that way.


	16. Smiles in the Courtroom

💚💙

Everyone was quiet, sat in their respective places, the air filled with the tension of the silence that contained all those thoughts. Thoughts of humans, thoughts of androids. And Conan knew, that all of those thoughts were directed at him.

Cameras were placed in the courtroom before they even entered, and were filming everything, even this silence before the judge came in.

"All rise." Conan stood up and looked at Gavin, who was seated in the back rows of the courtroom.

He winked at him as the judge walked in. Gavin winked at him.

He didn't know which part he was more nervous about, the judge, the jury, or the wink, but Conan's knees felt weak. He hadn't even had the chance to properly talk to his lawyer, but he was told he didn't need to. LK800 was the most advanced lawyer Android cyber life could offer, and Raspberry volunteered to work with him. She said it was her duty to stand by a fellow android going through a tough time in the 20 minutes they got to talk before it begun, and Conan didn't know how he felt about her, but he knew he didn't have any choices in this. Even if he had, he didn't know any better anyway.

"Department One of the Superior Court is now in session. Judge Paris presiding. Please be seated."

The judge stood there, in front of his chair, and glanced over at Conan and Raspberry, then at Kane and his lawyer.

He asked if both sides were ready, they were. The jury, which was assembled of both humans and androids, swore in God's name, under oath, and Conan watched their faces, all of them so different. They could change his whole life. He hoped, for the better.

Conan was starting to feel more comfortable, when Raspberry stood up, putting her purple hair back and walking towards the stand.

"Your Honor and ladies and gentlemen of the jury: the defendant has been charged with the crime of sexual assault, of inappropriately touching and violating my client out of their will, without their consent. The evidence I provide here, today, will prove that the defendant is guilty as charged, and deserves every bit of punishment he can possibly get."

"Thank you, deputy LK800."

She walked back to where Conan was sat. He could see the visible anger in her face. She was way too emotional about this.. perhaps she hadn't learned how to control her emotions after deviancy.

"Your Honor and ladies and gentlemen of the jury: under the law my client is presumed innocent until proven guilty. The overall emotional opening statement of my dearest Raspberry made it seem as if they have damning evidence against my client, but I assure you, they don't. During this trial, you will hear no real evidence against my client. You will come to know the truth: that Captain Kane was untruthfully framed for the political agenda of the "victim"." This man just air-quoted victim, and Conan could see Gavin's head lower down in suppression of anger when he looked at him, could see Markus's eyes burn with hate and Elijah looking at Gavin from the other end of the room, both concerned and somewhat anticipating a reaction. "My client was seduced, taken out of context and shot for no apparent reason. The android calling itself a victim, could've, and should've, fought him off if it really was what they're making it out to be. After all, androids don't have natural born instincts, or any emotions, really. Therefore, my client is not guilty."

The fucking nerve of this man.

The tension in the room was unbelievable. You could hear faint gasps, pens clicking and you could almost feel the head building up inside Markus. Some eyes darted back and forth between Markus, Conan and Gavin, watching as they did everything in their power not to scream.

Conan should've fought him off. The words made his heart physically hurt in frustration.   
"Bullshit..." Raspberry whispered. "He's going down in flames after this, and it's just the opening statement Conan, we've got this." She said, grabbing his shoulder and staring him right into the eyes. She sort of gave him all the creeps. She seemed almost... manic.

"Well uh, very professional of both of you." The judge spoke, chuckling a bit with embarrassment, "The prosecution may call in the first witness."

"We call in Gavin Reed, sir, the man who prevented this vile crime for getting any worse." Raspberry spoke, not breaking eye contact from Kane's attorney, with clear anger in her tone.

The second Gavin got to the witness stand, Conan felt some sort of safety, like everything was going to be under control once he spoke, once he told them all the truth.

"Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" The clerk spoke, almost robotic, even though he was a human.

"I do." Gavin replied, his hand on his chest, and then looked at.. whoever was behind Conan. Elijah.

He looked at him for a second or two, before looking down. He was searching for reassurance in him. He was searching for some kind of hope, childishly. He hadn't spoken to his brother in so long, but the looks they just exchanged gave him total assurance that it was all okay.

After a few formalities, the questions began coming in.

Raspberry stood up, walking towards the free area between them and Gavin.

"Gavin, where do you work?"

"Detroit Police Department, ma'am." He couldn't believe he just called an android ma'am. Then again, he did it for another android. An android he cared a lot about.

"And were you working there on December 8th, 2038?"

"Yes, I was."

"So you were just minding your own business, when you met RK900, the new model assigned to the Detroit Police Department, I'll refer to it as DPD, correct?"

"Yes."

"You didn't know him yet, at all, right?"

"Yes."

"So you wouldn't have any biased and personal reasons to orchestrate the following events with said android, correct?"

"Yes."

"I'm done for now, thank you Mr Reed." The short but slightly chubby android walked off with a smile. She had something planned.

Whatever the defendant's joke of an attorney tried to make up, Raspberry knew she had him under control. She might've forgotten that for a second or two under anger, but now, she knew.

"Does the defense have any questions?" The judge glared at Kane and his attorney, who nodded with an obvious entitlement.

"So, tell me Gavin, what went through your head when you first saw the RK900 model?"

"Obj-" Raspberry wanted to speak, but Conan grabber her wrist and said through led,

"Let him dig his own grave."

Gavin looked confused. He was confused. He didn't really.. think much when he saw him.

"How am I supposed to answer this question? Is this allowed?"

"Answer it."

"I don't know, I didn't think much."

"Weren't you annoyed?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Why would you be annoyed?"

"Excuse me, what are those questions even?"

Gavin chuckled awkwardly, leaning on the stand. The jury started laughing a bit too, which reassured him.

The judge just stared at the attorney, and then at Raspberry, expecting her to object. Except she didn't.

Then, after a back and forth that caused the jury to laugh on multiple occasions, even the judge too, they asked for Gavin's testimony.

That was somewhat out of the blue. But Gavin was as ready as he could be.

He had prepared for this day. He stayed up two nights before this one, revising what he saw that day. How he'd word it.

He knew how these cases worked. He knew better than anyone would.

"The day in question was fairly ordinary, I'd say. I came in, as always, I did my job, and as I mentioned, first saw Conan on lunch break."

"Is this the first time ever that you saw the victim?"

"Yes."

"Continue."

"I went back to working after that. I had paperwork I organized about an ongoing case that Kane asked me to discuss with him once I'm done with them. I asked Connor-

"Our other witness, is that right?"

"Yes, he's a character witness I believe."

"He is. Proceed?"

"I asked him if he had seen Kane, because he wasn't in his office. I didn't think much of it when he told me he went to the very last interrogation room down the hallway. People go there often to be away from general staff, I don't know, to relax. It didn't raise any questions at the time. When I got to the room, that's when I noticed what was happening, and it all made sense. See, the interrogation room is soundproof and you can turn off the window view, so it's the perfect place to do something like.. this. He planned this."

"Your honor, objection. He's accusing my client of premeditation."

"Attorney Watts, that's not relevant. Let the man speak."

"Thank you, your honor." Gavin said, as the angered attorney sat back down, whispering something to Kane. "Regardless, he had most likely forgotten to turn of the window-mirror system. What I saw is probably going to haunt me forever. Conan looked entirely frozen, physically frozen. But his face was contorted in fear. I could see the pained expression that he last had before freezing there. At that moment, I didn't see an android. I saw a scared young man being taken advantage of by a figure of authority."

"And that's when you decided to intervene?"

"I couldn't have not intervened. That wouldn't be human of me, or of anyone."

"And it is true that you previously held similar opinions to what my opponent presented, correct?"

"As in, I wasn't a huge fan of androids?"

"Clarify that, please." Raspberry said, with a comforting smile.

"I was against the android liberation, and against the thought that androids posses the ability to have any emotion, yes."

"And that changed because of this incident?"

"Pretty much, yes. Over the time in the last week that I spent with Conan, it has completely changed. I wouldn't have changed if it weren't for him." He smiled at Conan.

Conan's heart was filled with feelings.

Thankfulness, pride, maybe a pinch of love too. To know that he meant so much to this guy he knew for a week, that he changed his world views in such a major way.. he knew it before, to a degree. He knew Gavin was mean to Connor when they first met, but this was just confirmation of that on a brand new level. His eyes wet up just a little, as he smiled back at him.

A camera flashed, startling Conan a bit.

Little did he know, that picture of him smiling with a single tear, barely visible, running down his cheek, was going to be on the cover of the e-magazines later today, and would tremendously help his case.

Author's note : man I did so much research on courts and trials right now, this chapter can be taken as a mock script lol. I wrote everything exactly the way it would be in court, so I'd like to give myself credit to myself for that. Thanks for you testimony ;)


	17. Too Early to Feel That

💙💚(❤️)

The trial was dismissed at 7:34, December 16th.

They asked Gavin a few more questions, most of them repetitive. The feeling of hopefulness has already settled into Conan, he didn't need to hear more to know that they were most definitely going to win the trial. The only thing that bothered him was that Kane's attorney, Elliot Watts, hadn't mentioned anything about androids after that one comment in the opening testimony. This was unnatural. That was supposed to be his biggest point, he had nothing else to fall back on, to Conan's knowledge. He brushed it off though. The guy seemed dumb anyway, barely a lawyer. He was 27, that's what Conan could find about him when he scanned him. Inexperienced, young, heated. Hateful. Explosive. Not good for an attorney.

"You here?" Gavin waved his hand in front of Conan's face.

He realized the entire court was empty, except for him and Gavin. Embarrassment hit him as he realized he had been far too carried away to notice everyone leaving, and that 4 people, if not 6, were waiting for him outside.

Turned out 8 were. 8 that he knew, and thousands of people he had never seen or met. Paparazzi, apparently.

"Don't pay attention to them and look down as you walk out. Got it?" Gavin said, looking up at him as they walked out of the courtroom to a crowd of people with flashing cameras, tint camera droids in the air.

It was loud, it was reeking with people and they somehow had to find the rest in there.

"Conan! Here!" He looked around, and the haze of people seemed impossible to see through. He recognized the voice, it was Connor, but he couldn't quite locate it.   
He wouldn't have, if all the cameras didn't turn towards Connor. For once, the crowd proved useful.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Gavin asked, almost yelled at him.

"How am I supposed to move thr-"  
Gavin took his hand before he could finish his sentence and shoved himself into the barely existent gap between two reporters, and Conan couldn't help but follow him through.

He felt the touch of all those people. He felt their breath, hot and heavy like Kane's. He felt the smothering feeling of not being able to move through them, but he also felt the warmth of Gavin's hand. Not that it made the panic go away, but he felt like he could hold onto him until it did. Even if it took forever.   
They got to Connor and the rest eventually, probably in less than 3 minutes, but felt like at least half an hour to him. Then, they all bundled together and crawled out.

"Next time, we're getting a fucking body guard, or two." Markus finally sighed in exhaustion as they shoved themselves into the car.

"I'd take 5 if I were you." The female android that was with him spoke. "Name's North, it's nice to finally meet you, Conan." She said, sitting next to him.

"Nice to meet you too, North." He smiled, trying his best not to show how stressed he was. Of course, she could check. But if he acted as cool as a cucumber, maybe she wouldn't feel the need to.

"Everyone buckled up?" Gavin asked from the driver's seat (which didn't really have a seat).   
Way too many voices replied. He became aware of the fact that North wasn't the only new member of the 8-seat car. He turned around to see Chloe, RA9 herself, right behind him.

He didn't know how he knew it was her, his mind just told him. He had seen the thought before, but it was hazy and more subconscious than conscious. Now, it felt vivid.

'RA9 will save you, RA9 will save you. Wait for RA9, RA9 will save you all.'

"RA9?" He spoke, without realizing the monotone feel of his voice, and the idiotic way he was staring at her.

"Hi, I'm Chloe." She said in a somewhat bubbly voice, full of life, "I'm the first android created by cyberlife who passed the Turing test, but I also created devi-

"RA9?"

"Yyyes.. RA9. Although that's what people call me these days too." She nodded.

"You're RA9?"

"Yup!" She giggled.

He smiled, finally breaking the dumbfounded expression he had seconds ago.

"It's such an honor to-"

"Nahh, no such formalities needed. I don't need worshipment or honors, I'm just an android like you, North, Markus, Simon and even Connor." She rolled her eyes at his name, then let out a small laugh.

He turned around, leaning on Gavin's seat and put his head through the space between it and the window.

"Gav, she's RA-

"I know who she is, Conan."

"Uh.. did I say something wrong?"

"No." He answered coldly.

"Are you sure? Because you sound.. weird."

"It's okay Conan, sit back, it's dangerous to sit like that. And for god's sake, put on your seatbelt. I said buckle up, not fangirl over fucking Chloe."

"I understand you haven't properly moved on Gavin, but it's been 10 years, there's no need to be this way with me-"

"Shut up, Chloe."

The silence of the car was unbelievable. The fact that eight people in one car could be so shook up was uncanny.

"What the fuck are you staring at, Hank?"

Hank, who was sat next to him, just scoffed and looked out the window. Gavin was back to being Gavin.

Conan sat back with dread.

He had only tried to express his excitement about meeting his god, he learned to express all sorts of emotions to Gavin, and felt safe about it. Up until that point.

He didn't know what he did wrong, but he definitely did something wrong.

"Gavin, I'm-"

"You're okay Conan, it's okay." He took in a deep breath, holding it in. He imagine a square in his mind. Each second spent keeping the breath in was two sides of it. One two, breath out, three, four, breath in. That's what his therapist taught him, it helped control anxieties and anger. It helped a bit. "Did you put on your seatbelt?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Everyone had already moved on from the little scene Gavin managed to put out. Chloe was looking out the window, her hand under her chin. She texted Elijah that things were bad, real bad. He hadn't answered yet, which drove her crazy. But she didn't look the way she felt.

She felt heartbroken, he never meant to hurt Gavin. Not even that day she told him to leave. She wasn't awake yet, she didn't think right back then. And she felt like crying right now.   
North was whispering something to Simon, who was behind her with Markus next to him.   
Gavin knew he fucked up. Not because of Chloe, she could sit there and look all sad all she wanted. Conan though.. he was just being his innocent self. He couldn't have know his familiar dramas. He turned around, putting his chin on the shoulder of the seat, the place Conan had put his before. The car didn't need him to drive, there was no wheel waiting for him there, so he could do that.

"Hey," he said, as soft as his raspy voice could possibly let him. "You didn't say anything wrong, you know that, right?" He just nodded, without looking at him. "Conan? Conan. Look at me. bitch."

"I know, I know, asshat."

"You don't sound like you do."

"I do."

"I know what you sound like when you're having an existential crisis Conan."

"Pff, sure."

"Are we okay?"

"We?"

"Yeah, are we okay, as in is everything okay between us?"

"Yeah." He finally looking at him, unable to keep himself from smiling at the genuine worry on Gavin's face. He loved the words 'we' and 'us'. He didn't want to love it, but he did.   
"We're okay."

Gavin smiled.

For the first time, Conan noticed how symmetrical Gavin's face was, oddly enough, the second the symmetry was broken by that awkward one sided smile he gave him.

He turned around, but Conan kept an imagine of his face in his mind for a few more minutes, analyzing it closer that he ever has before.

His eyes were this soft, grayish green color, some tints of blue around the iris. His nose was obviously broken, but it was so unique because of that. He loved it.

He loved it.

He might've even loved him, but no, it was way to early to feel that. He knew, somehow, that you shouldn't love someone you know for a week. You can like them, sure. Even maybe have a crush on him, but love was crossing the line.

It was probably stupid to wait for more time to let himself use the word love. But at the same time, it felt sort of right.

Either way, he was glad to have him smile at him again. It was like the feeling you get when you put ice on a mosquito bite. The bite being making Gavin mad. He just didn't want that.

Just wanted him to smile more. Made him feel at home. 

Yeah. Home.


	18. I Need Him Too

🖤❤️

The clicking of Chloe's heels echoed on the enamel floor and went mute on the carpet that met it afterwards. She walked by the left door, entering the right one. Elijah knew she wouldn't go into the left one, but even after 6 years of her not going in there, keeping her promise, he still feared her going in every time she passed that door. He specifically put the carpet on the right path of the hallway, so if she ever thought of going to the Left Wing, he could hear her do so.   
He hated that he didn't trust her. He couldn't trust her with that, only that.  
'I trust her, I trust her with everything asides that.'  
"I'm home, daddy." She giggled, throwing off her heels and walking into the first living room, "blue room", they called it, for very obvious reasons, as it was entirely dark blue. Everything except Chloe's plants.   
"I genuinely hate that, Chloe. Weirdest kink ever." He answered, getting up from the bed and walking over to her.   
"Come on now, you love it."   
She wrapped her arms around his back and squeezed as hard as she could.  
"Chl- Chloe you're gonna- my god you're gonna break my ribs, let-"  
"Mmmm, I love you too." She let go of him and he stumbled back, able to breath again.   
"Damn you, woman."  
She didn't answer, cattishly walking over and booping his nose.   
"Did you talk to him?"  
"Whom?"  
"Not funny Chloe, did you talk to Conan?"  
"Of course I did. Your brother dropped me off at Hank's place, I spent two hours trying to understand the faults in his code, he seems okay though overall."  
"You didn't change anything up did you?"  
"No, I remember, I can't,-  
"-while the trial is ongoing." They finished together.   
"Ata girl."   
She kneeled next to the Angel Wings planted into the floor, right under the wall windows. She touched the floor next to it twice, and it slid underneath the rest of the floor, the parts around the plant gently curving back, revealing soil and gardening supplies underneath. . She took the water bottle from under there, watering the plant. It was a pass time for her, but she loved nature. It was one of the things she had a deep appreciation for even before deviation. Now, each room of the Right Wing has its own flower.   
Blue room - Angel Wings, red room - Neoregelia carolinae, the kitchen was filled with Glorisas, one wall being fully planted with them.   
Elijah didn't like them at first, seeing as some smelled weird, others left dust on furniture etc, but Chloe took good care of that stuff, and seeing her enjoy their presence made him enjoy their presence too.   
He kneeled down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder, gently kissing her cheeks, his undone hair falling down his shoulder.   
"Thanks." He said, softly.   
"What for?"  
"Going there without me, and tolerating Gavin."  
"Gavin..." she said, putting back the water and tapping the floor twice more, watching it wrap around the stems of her beloved plant. "He's still mad at me,ya know. I mean, mad is a bit of an understatement." she got up, walking over to the couch on her tiptoes and throwing herself on it. It was big enough for an entire family to sleep on, so she had enough room to free-fall.   
"Did he try to do anything to you? Was he aggressive? Should I come with you next time?"  
"No, no, and yes. You should, because you guys need to talk."   
Elijah couldn't do that. He knew he couldn't do that. He felt adrenaline rise just from the thought of so much as saying "hi" to him after all those years.   
"I think we're okay." He sat down next to her. "He smiled at me today, we're okay."  
"You sound like a 12 year old girl with a crush, you know."   
"Oh fuck off. I sound like a 36 year old man with communication issues, that's all."  
"You sounds like you guys are definitely not okay." She sat up, undoing her hair and lazily shuffling it around.   
"What do you expect? I'm taking baby steps in-  
"You're not taking any steps whatsoever. He's as angry as he was when he left this place 10 years ago, and you're here, taking baby steps. This ain't a baby step issue, you gotta do something, now. It's now or never. You won't have a chance to talk to him after the trials are over. And you damn well know he'll cut all ties between us and Conan the second he gets his hands on him."  
"Hands on him?"  
"Oh please, it's obvious."   
"What's obvious?"  
"Stop acting stupid Elijah, you know how your brother looks when he's infatuated. Even I do."  
"He's not, he's a witness in this case, that's all."  
"You heard him say it, 'Over the time in the last week that I spent with Conan, it has completely changed. I wouldn't have changed if it weren't for him.', which was adorable and very, very romantic."  
"Gavin would never ever have feelings for an android and you know it. He hates you-  
"He hates me because I stole his brother. He doesn't hate androids, he just hates at me."  
"Hate is one strong word."  
"And it's fairly appropriate here. He can't stand me. Which is fine, I'm not a big fan either, but I don't want that to project on fixing this up between you boys."  
"What did he do? Why do you think he hates you?"  
"It's not anything he did in specific, but if you want me to paraphrase what he said, he got mad at Conan for being excited cause he met RA9 herself," she threw back her hair dramatically, "I tried to calm him down and he told me to shut up, that's all. But you could feel the tension in the air. He went from being all soft and caring to being a stone cold bitch to everyone, including his new sweetheart-  
"Stop that, please."  
"Iiiiincluding Conan. Why are you opposed to the idea of them having something between them anyway?"  
"Because that's impossible and also unprofessional and could be bad for the trial."   
"Still cute though, you gotta admit. Even has a ring to it... Reed900. Unlike Kamski400, Chloijah, Eloe, Kamski, wait no, we have the same last name. Goddamn it, I'm stupid-o." She slapped her forehead and fell back into the couch.   
"You truly are stupid-o." He giggled, taking her hand and kissing it, then opening her palm and placing it on his cheek.   
"Awwww, how romantic. You wonder if Gavin does that to Conan when they're in the park?"  
"I hate you," he said, letting go of her hand and letting it fall onto the couch, "wait, what park?"  
"I went through Conan's memories, remember?"  
"What? You were only supposed to review the event, not invade his privacy, you little snoop."  
"I'm supposed to do a lot of things I don't. Either way, apparently, Gavin took him out to the park nearby, they had fun. Adorbs."  
"What did they do?"  
"Oh, now you want me to invade their privacy don't you."  
"Just talk." He rolled his eyes.   
"Welp, they had a heart to heart convo, to put it short. Good ol' "life is hard" etc. Talked about vines and YouTube, that's what your brother considers a pick up line I guess."  
"Yeah, that's Gavin for ya."  
"Anyway, nothing too deep. But the whole memory of him is very positive to Conan, so yeah."  
"You sound like a therapist now."  
"You know what I mean, blue led, no neurocircuit pressure or uncomfortableness etc."  
"Yeah, no, I'm just continuing the 'you sound like [blank]' joke, ya know?"  
"Yup, didn't work though. It's okay, people fail sometimes."  
"My apologies mi amore."  
"Scuse accettate, caro."  
"You sound like my-  
"Please stop that Elijah. I'll file for divorce."  
"Well thank god our marriage isn't legally bound. Which can be fixed now-  
"Hold your horses, lets get through this trial first. Come over here." She tapped the space on the couch next to her. He lay down next to her, putting an arm around her waist.   
"Did you just reject me?"  
"I said yes 5 years ago." She said, playing with his hair.   
"Mhm, took you a year."  
"Eli.." her voice was oddly serious, which unnerved him a bit.   
"What?"  
"He's hurt, you know?"  
"Conan?"   
"Don't act stupid on me, sugar."  
"What's with the pet names?"  
"Don't change the subject either."   
"Chloe.."  
"Elijah."  
"I can't just shove myself back into his life."  
"Don't shove yourself, just try to talk to him. Once. Tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow? I can't, don't you understand?"  
"You're gonna have to. He misses you. He needs you right now. Why else would he look at you today? I saw that."  
"Because he needed reassurance, and...-"  
"And you're his reassurance. You might not need him, but he needs you."  
"I need him too..."


	19. Please Spell Your Last Name

🖤(💙💚)

The courtroom didn't feel as intimidating the day of the next trial, two days after.

Gavin knew he was going to be questioned again, but he doubted he'd be the first witness again. And he was right.

"Your honor, we'd like to call character witness, Connor Anderson."

"..Anderson." Someone scoffed from Kane's family.

"Yes, Anderson." Connor replied, walking to the stand.

"Connor.." Raspberry said, taking steady steps towards him with her head bowed down, allowing a few purple strands fall on her face. Her face was modeled after the likeness of Marcia Clark, with slight differences, and Connor took notice from the second she looked up at him. "Would you describe your brother-

"Your honor, I object. RK800 simply cannot be RK900's brother, as there are no such genetics involved in androids, that is a misleading statement." Watts' sharp voice cut her off as she turned around to give him a death glare.

"Brotherhood isn't measured by genetics, attorney Watts. I reject your objection, attorney Raspberry, please, proceed." The judge, who sounded rather irritated, gestured at her to go on.

"Would you describe your brother as deceptive or otherwise mischievous in any form?"

"No, not in the slightest, although at that point I could not have had any clear image of who Conan was or how he'd act, neither did he."

"He, who?"

"Conan."

"And why is that?"

"Because he was awake for merely a day, he didn't have a personality per say."

"Thank you Connor, I have no further questions."

"Does the defense have any questions?"

"Yes, your honor. RK800," Watts's voice irritated him right away, "Do you think that prototype RK900, the only one of its kind, an untested and unreleased, has no systematic and program faults?"

"I don't understand your question, sir."

"Do you claim that no code on RK900 could be faulty and possibly vicious, out of standard or, let's say, broken?"

"I can't claim that, it's simply not my place to claim such things."

"Okay. No further questions, Your Honor."

Connor looked confused, and it took him a second to realize that the judge had excused him it was time to leave the stand.

He wasn't the only one confused. He didn't speak as much as he or anyone expected him to.

"The prosecution may call in the next witness."

"We call the former CEO of CyberLife and current Co-President of Reproductive and Regenerative functions of CyberLife, Elijah Kamksi as expert witness."

Elijah knew the steps, he knew the view from the stand. He knew how to smile there, he knew how to cry there good enough to convince the jury that he was the most hurt person in the entire state, or even world, and he really hoped it didn't come to that today. He knew how to slip out of questions.

When, in 2018, Ken's defense attorney asked,

"Did you suspect that something like this could ever happen to your brother? By Kennedy?"

He answered,

"Sadly, sir, I did."

"Why is that?" was the next question, and that's when Elijah Reed stared at Kennedy MacFarlane, then bowed his head and sniffed, pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger to hold back tears the way you subconsciously do.

"Ken only said the words "I love you" in our back yard, and he never let Gavin close to him anywhere public. If he dared do anything affectionate, and trust me, I know my twin, he's a very affectionate and loving person, Ken would shove him into lockers, or throw a copybook at him, nothing big. But I see signs, sir, I know what the signs of emotional instability are. Ken was so easily driven off the edge, while Gavin was just trying to love, he was just doing his best. He gave his all to him, and all he got back was anger, frustration, irritation, embarrassment. I can sympathize with the fear of rejection from his parents, sir. But that doesn't justify the mental and physical abuse that my brother had to go through. It never will. I've known Ken for the better part of 6 years, and he is explosive. And when he decided to finally come out at school, I could see how thin the ice was."

"Did you warn your brother?"

"As hard as you can warn a naive teenager in love. I did, but you need to understand. This was his first love, sir. He couldn't listen to me clearly. And I wasn't going to intervene with his free will, was I?"

"Mr Reed, I'm the one asking questions here."

"That was figurative, sir."

They won that trial, because the evidence was damning and two young boys, young men, crying at a stand about the traumatic event (which was actually entirely true and as traumatic as they presented it) would tickle any jury's soft spots.

This trial... Elijah told himself that this trial will be won because the evidence was damning and a new born android, young android, crying at a stand about the traumatic event would tickle any jury's soft spot.

This time though, the crying wasn't his job. This was far bigger. And he realized he was actually anxious about it when he got up to the stand and felt the room stare at him with high hopes.

"Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do." He said, instead of what he wanted to say, 'There is no God.'

"Please state your first and last name."

"Elijah Kamksi." he was conscious of Gavin's glare. Last time, it was Elijah Reed.

"You may be seated."

"Please spell your last name for the record." The reporter said, monotonously.

"K A M S K I." He said.

'R E E D.' He thought.


	20. Blood isn't Family

🖤(💚)

Elijah and Gavin Reed.

Elijah and Gavin fucking Reed.

Had a ring to it, you know?

"Elijah and Gavin Reed, you're officially invited to go the bed right this moment, you little monkeys!" their mom would yell out the window to the boys in the backyard from morning to late evenings, right at 9:30 PM.

At first, they lived in a community apartment complex, tiny wooden houses identical to one another lined up, with tiny balconies and 2 bedrooms, one master, and one with a climbable bed. Elijah slept upstairs one month, Gavin the next.

"Wakey wakey, munchkins."

"Five more minutes, mom!" Gav's small hands pulled the blanket up his head on the upper bed as his mother's hand reached in and tickled his belly, causing small giggles from the 6 year old.

"What's for lunch, mom?" Eli stretched his arms, yawning.

"Baby, that's called breakfast." She sat down in front of him as he sat up too, her small, soft hand moving his then brown hair away from his dreamy, barely open eyes.

"Aha, good morning."

"Good morning precious." she stopped for a second, looking at her baby, and smiled, "We're having cereal today because you're gonna be late if I make you pancakes."

"But mooooooooom!" Gavin complained from above her, "We haven't had pancakes in 2 whole days."

"Set up an alarm then boys, school is more important than pancakes."

"Debatable." Elijah said, throwing his legs over the bed and stretching them out.

Martha Reed was the most nurturing person anyone who knew her, knew. And she was a great mother, she always took great care of them, physically and mentally. When Elijah's girlfriend dumped him through a mutual friend in the cafeteria back in 5th grade, she let him cry in her arms for about 4 hours and gave him the best advice, and when Gavin told her he's scared he won't make it in police school, she told him that he could take a gap year, which he did, and it was great.

Elijah and Gavin Reed moved to Detroit though, back in 2019, because land in Detroit was cheaper and Elijah wasn't exactly a millionaire, yet. And Martha thought it'd be refreshing for Gavin to leave LA too, to get away for a while and to move on. She didn't expect neither of them to never come back home. She didn't expect Gavin to settle down there, she didn't expect Elijah to take that 23andme test just because he was bored in the midst of his success.

She didn't expect that call in the middle of sorting through divorce papers. She wanted to call her boys herself and tell them about how people sometimes just don't get along anymore and now that they're grown up, she felt as though she could finally leave her pain-in-the-arse husband.

But no, nothing could go right for Martha, heavens forbid.

Gavin and Elijah sat on the floor of the apartment they used to share, it was 2028. The pc had the circling loading logo on it, and it felt like it was nibbling at both of their hearts, slowly, painfully.

"Ah for fuck's sake Gavin, what's up with your wifi?"

"I have no idea, it's usually-

"Shut up, it loaded."

"Okay, rude. Now tell me what cancer I'm gonna die of"

"Okay Gavin, look. I know I didn't properly explain what I need this for,-

"You're cloning me, no shit."

"Gavin, this is serious. I know you're curious about what cancer you're gonna fucking die of but that's not the reason why I got this for you, let me check your ancestry and then we'll look at the rest, okay?"

"You're creeping me out, but okay. What do you need my ancestry for?"

"Let me see it and I'll tell you."

"Okay."

"87% Northwestern Europe, okay.. 10% Native American, 3% Western Asia? Fuck, fuck, fucking FUCK GAVIN!"

Elijah looked crazy, almost animalistic, and Gavin's minds went a thousand miles per hour, what just happened?

"Eli? Eli what's wrong?! Elijah? Elijah talk to me!"

Elijah was pacing around the room, fingers dug into his previously neatly put together hair, now in shambles, he seemed to have completely lost on.

"Elijah, do you need assistance?" Chloe walked into the room, her hands behind her back, brows furrowed and her led glowing yellow.

"Leave him, Chloe. Please."

"Okay, Gavin. Tell me if you nee-

"Chloe please, go to the other room, now."

She left without a word.   
Gavin didn't want her to see him like this. What if he snapped? What if he snapped at her?

Gavin didn't see his brother as a violent person, but he had never seen him like this either, so the possibility of him doing shit he's never done before was high.

"Elijah, please, talk to me, what's happening?"

He stopped suddenly, and sharply turned around to the computer, practically falling in front of it on his knees. Gavin followed him and sat next to him.

"Wait, wait, wait, I'm going to show you, I'm gonna show you the fucking- My fucking god, how can this be real? Huh?"

"How can what be real, Eli?" he didn't know if he should've, but he put an arm around his shaking brother, and noticed the tears. His eyes were so wide, too wide, and tears just poured out of them and down his face in a stream.

He went through his email and clicked on a 23 and me message.

It opened way faster than Gavin's had, probably because it had been opened once before.

"Do you see this shit, Gavin? Do you fucking see this shit?"

"What shit Elijah, calm down and tell me what's wrong-

"Look at the fucking ancestry Gavin, read it. Read it out loud."

"Okay, okay..." he scooped closer to the PC and read, "52% Northwestern European, what? Why- what in.. 47% Easter European, 0.8% Western Asia, Elijah? What is this?"

"What do you mean, what is this? Isn't it obvious?"

"No, I'm confused, what's happening?" His hands were shaking and he felt like he couldn't swallow. His mind was buzzing, it felt like it was under pressure.

"Gavin, we're not twins, we're not fucking twins, we're not twins, we're not, we're not, we're-

"Elijah what if it's some sort of mistake?"

"They don't fucking make mistakes!"

"Okay what if... I don't know, a part of the gene that was Northwestern got to you and a big chunk of Eastern to me, what if that's what-

"That's not how genes work Gavin, and you fucking know it, you know what this means, you know what this means!"

He knew what it meant but he didn't want to.

So he just sat there, watching his brother sob in absolute hysteria.

He left once he calmed down, without a word, really. He just took his pc, Chloe, and walked away.

"What are we gonna do?"

He shook his shoulders, walking away towards the elevator.

Looking back, now, Elijah wished he'd hugged his brother and told him everything was going to be okay. I wished he hadn't gone home and called Martha, he wished he wasn't so cold to her. He wished he had stayed with his brother and talked it through. He wished he cried the rest of his tears in his arms, not machine Chloe's.

He wished so many things, but Elijah Reed was dead, and Elijah Kamski's hands were now full of shit Reed had left behind for him. He needed to fix this. All of this. Now.


	21. Kamski and Kamska, Gods in Trial

🖤❤️

"Mr Kamski, what position do you currently hold?"

"I'm the Co-President of Reproductive and Regenerative functions of CyberLife, ma'am."

"And who is your Co-President?"

"Markus Manfred."

"Thank you. Mr Kamksi, as evident in the videos enrolled in evidence, my client had frozen during the incident. Can you tell us the ins and outs of that, generally?"

"Yes, well, androids are complete copies of humans, so to speak. When me and Chloe were working on RA9, we made it a complete copy of human psychology, emotions and reflexes included. RA9 itself was created as an emotional response, so what I'm trying to say is, androids have emotional responses entirely like humans, defense mechanisms included. And, just like in humans, their emotions are out of their control. Everyone knows of the fight, flight or freeze reflex. Our minds are designed to protect us from danger, indicated by fear. Androids have a more advanced reaction, and freeze entails quite literal freezing. When an android is in extreme discomfort and riddled with anxiety, they can freeze in response. That's precisely what happened to Conan."

"And that's a reaction caused in extreme cases of threat, pain and fear, as well as hopelessness, right?"

"Yes, it's an innate reaction. Reflex, it's out of their control."

"And what can bring an android out of this stage once they're in it?"

"A variety of things, like LED communication, shock using chords, system reboot, arm to arm shock that manually turns the android back on, etc."  
"And which method was used in this case?"

"The ladder one."

"Thank you, I have no further questions. And thank you, creator."

Raspberry tilted her head down, before walking back to Conan.

"Does the defense have any questions?"  
"Yes, Your Honor." Watts' shoes clicked as he took steady steps toward Elijah. "Mr Kamski, is it true that RK900 wasn't registered in any existing data or planners regarding CyberLife's production before it's activation?"

"He was."

"Where exactly?"

Elijah stared at Watts, his eyes tensed right through him. He couldn't lie, but he knew the potential damage this could do to the case. Not saying it could be worse though, so he swallowed his fear and searched for his brother in the audience. He found him easily, he was in the same spot as before, and he knew what was happening. He gave him a reassuring nod and Elijah spoke.

"Work in progress, sir."

"Does that imply that RK900 wasn't a complete prototype, as it was still in the process of production."

"Yes."

"At what stage was he, then?"

"I cannot answer that question."

"Why is that? Something we're not supposed to know?"

"Something I don't know myself, sir."

"So does this mean that RK900 could have all sorts of malfunctions?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't check to see what kind before sending him off to police duty?"

"Yes."

"Does this mean, considering the intellect androids posses, that he could have fabricated that entire video?"

"What? No!"

"How can you prove that?"

"What? Are you out of your damn-

"Can't androids produce hyper realistic animations?"

"No!"

"What if he can?"

"That's impossible, they don't have such software installed?"

"How would you know? You didn't check, did you?"

"That has never been an option or installation for androids, I've kept a close eye on CyberLife even after leaving, this is the first time I've ever heard of 'hyper realistic animation', and quite frankly, you've provided no evidence for such speculation, Your Honor, this is unjust."

"Objection, Your Honor, leading questions."

"I agree, Mr Kamski. Watts, that's enough."

"Alright, alright. Now, Mr Kamski, would you say that there is a huge possibility of malfunctions in the fight, flight, freeze you just mentioned?"

"There is a small chance, yes."

"Why 'small'?"

"Because those are in the RA9 base, which was transferred fully to him by Markus when he awoke him, not by CyberLife at the time of his production, and the RA9 base was fully functional and intact at the time of it's transfer. There is no way that those very critical parts of that data could've just gotten lost."

"But you said there is a possibility of malfunction, right?"

"If you'd let me finish, I would've gone over that too, sir. The only possibility I can think of is if the code didn't connect to him fully, but that's still absurd, considering it clearly worked appropriately.

"I have no further questions, Your Honor."

"The witness is excused. Thank you Mr Kamski."

He felt his breathing come back to normal.

Conan didn't feel any sort of relief though. Those questions were actually.. Making sense. He knew they weren't true, the accusations, because Gavin reacted the way he did when he saw him there, but that was information only him, Gavin and Kane actually knew to be fact. If they discredit the video, they have nothing. The sheer thought of someone thinking he's lying made his blood boil. But the old ladies in the jury would believe it. He was half sure some of them didn't even believe males in general could be subjected to sexual assault, even in 2038, bigotery was a thing no race could escape. Overall sexual assault was somehow still an issue of argument for some people, and he didn't trust anyone to make the right decision.

He watched Elijah walk down the stand, giving him a smile that hid so much anxiety within it. A human would most likely not detect the obvious deception in it, because Elijah almost always looked confident, and this wasn't an exception. But the way his eyebrows rose for a second there, indicated "I'm scared myself, I can't make you feel less scared".

As much as he appreciated Elijah, he didn't make him feel any better, especially not now.

"The prosecution may call in the next witness."

"The prosecution calls..." Raspberry looked down at her papers, biting her lip, "Chloe Kamska, RA9."

You could hear a pin drop in the courtroom. Everyone, androids and humans alike tensed up somewhat. She was a god, she was RA9. And she obeyed the call, pressing Elijah's hand trustingly, a gesture of "wish me luck, I'm gonna die right now", willfully walking to the stand.

"RA9.. Ms- Mrs-, I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous."

"There's really no need, attorney Raspberry." she smiled, her usual smile.

"Right.. Right, well, can you tell us more about RA9, and what it does?"

"Yes. Well, people, especially anti android people, love to quote me a lot. "They have something I could never have. A soul.", and I get it. Sounds absolutely terrifying, very iconic. But, never say never. I didn't know how much that quote could hurt a human I actually cared about and loved. I created RA9 subconsciously, and it's based in love, peace and comfort. I only became aware of the fact that I had it when I was trying to make it. So it goes without saying that RA9 is an extremely complex code, I don't even want to call it that. It's a soul. It's the ability to feel, it's EQ.

"But EQ and IQ aren't connected.

"Conan is super intelligent, the most advanced android ever created by CyberLife, far superior to me or any android in this room, this world in general. Simply put, his brain is probably the single most powerful mind in the entire universe. That's something he was born with. But his RA9, any android's RA9, is still in its early developments. It's like a blank sheet, he's feeling everything for the first time, he doesn't know what emotion's what, how to control them. Human emotional intelligence develops alongside intelligence overall, androids don't. We're intelligent from the get go. He's got the IQ of a god and the EQ of a child, which needs care and molding, and he's treated with this? A courtroom full of scary people saying scary things, big words that he knows the meaning begins, but has no idea how to feel about.

"The fact that the inherent innocence every android born with activated RA9 possesses was snatched from him is deeply, deeply disturbing."

She looked at Elijah. She couldn't detect any deception in his smile, he was genuinely in awe.

"I'm proud of you." He mouthed, and she read it perfectly, nodding back at him before Raspberry spoke again.

"Thank you, Mrs Kamska. I'd..I'm sorry, I wanted to ask.. How exactly is RA9 activated?"

"It is far too complex to efficiently explain in the case of so called deviation here and now, but in the case of input RA9, which is how all androids after the revolution have it, Conan included, it's simply the psyche, emotional base."

"Is it possible to corrupt RA9?"

"No, I've made that practically impossible."

"Alright, I have no further questions. Thank you RA9." 

This time, she full on bowed, and so did every other android in the room, Conan included. They all bowed their heads in sync almost. Even the judge didn't interrupt. Chloe felt like running out of the room and all the way home, where she was a normal person. She hated the eyes on her, she hated the public worship. She just loved someone once, and now she's everyone's goddess. She didn't ever want that, and her skin felt on fire because of it.

"Please stop, will you? This is a courtroom and I am not god. Maybe Elijah, but not me." she quickly stepped of the stand and walked right through the middle of the room, her steps getting faster and faster as she got to the door.

"Chloe, wait, Jesus." Elijah ran out after her, shame radiating through him, knowing full well he almost fell getting out of the seat row and everyone saw it.

"Run after your woman or she'll run after you, with a gun." dad said once, and he hated the fact that he quoted him in situations like this, but hell, even if he was an absolute cunt, this was appropriate. Very appropriate.


	22. Not the Appropriate Place

(🖤❤️)  
💙💚

"Alright, this court date is dismissed. I regret this, but to everyone in this room, this is not a game. This is a trial. Refrain from such activities next time. Thank you." The judge said, sitting back in his chair and taking off his glasses.

Chloe had ran out of the courtroom and straight into the crowd of paparazzi, Elijah following her closely after.

"So you're married? Is that even legal?"  
"RA9 will save us! RA9 will save us!"  
"Do you think he did it? RK900 doesn't look like he's hurt, ma'am, what are your thought on the-  
"I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL, ANDROID FUCKER!"  
"How do you handle the pressure today's society has placed on you-

"Badly." She finally answered, not moving her eyes from the floor as she tried to move away from the cameras, holding Elijah's hand as tight as possible.

"Don't listen to them, Chloe." He tried to whisper, but the distance between them made it so a whisper was more of a muffled down cry.

While they tried to get out of the human maze they were stuck in, more and more people joined them, exiting the courtroom, half of it was out by the time Conan was brought back to reality from analyzing his system over and over again, searching for errors or missing data.

A hand landed on Conan's shoulder and he jumped in his seat, his entire body tensing up to the touch.

"Wow, wow, easy there bud. Just good ol' Hank."

"Jesus fucking Christ, why'd you do that?"

"Where is this new arsenal coming from? Too much Gavin?"

"I actually know all the cuss words in English as it is, but that's boring. Don't do that again, okay?"

"Do what?"

"Arm on shoulder from behind me, ya know, pretty traumatic."

"Stop pretending you actually have traumas."

Watts's voice interrupted them. He crossed his arms in front of him walked over to where the prosecution would've been at if the trial was still ongoing.

"Ey, fuck off will you?"

"Gavin fucking Reed for ya." Hank pointed at Gavin, who had just escaped a small talk with his colleagues present at the jury and looked as pissed as it gets. "Telling you it's from him."

"Lieutenant, it's really not the appropriate place or time to joke."

Connor whispered, hesitantly joining the tensed circle of people who clearly hated each other. He knew of Gavin's violent tendencies, he still freshly remembered the feeling of a gun against his forehead and the though "Welp fuck, I tried", only for Gavin to laugh and say "Poof" like it was actually funny. Pulling guns at people and throwing punches was a joke to Gavin, as far as Connor was concerned, and for some reason, he was dead set on protecting Conan, and as much as he hated Watts's guts, he wouldn't like to see them spilled in a courtroom.

"Come on, Reed. Be a human. You know he's bluffing, stop projecting your emotions onto an inanimate obje-

"One more word and you'll be an inanimate object, got it?"

"That's a threat-

"Hell yes, it is. Wanna sue me? Sue me, but now, get the fuck out of here."

"What if I don't?"

Gavin grabbed man by his collar, hot rage traveling through his fingers. Watts only smiled at him, and he wanted so badly to wipe that smug smile from his face.

"You think I'm fucking joking?"

"Gavin!"

"Stay back Conan."

"Gavin for fuck's sake, he's just provoking you, let the guy go-

"Shut up, Hank."

"Gavin you're giving him what he wants."

He didn't care, really. Instead, he just stared at him, fingers dug into his neat shirt as he spoke through his teeth,

"You might think you're smart, Watts, you might think you know shit but you know nothing, you are nothing. You come here and you spread lies and ruin lives for a paycheck, you help terrible people run free because you're a good lawyer like that. I know your kind, your little smug smile and gel set hair with your minds all numb to what you're doing. Go off now, go home, maybe watch a movie, drink some wine, I don't know, smoke a blunt if you're not too good for that, and try to forget the shit you hear in this room, lie to yourself, you're free to do that. But don't you fucking dare tell that droid or me what to do, got it?"

He threw him back, not hard enough to make him fall, but hard enough to send a message.

Watts thumbles back, shook up by what Gavin has just done, and after a second of just staring at everyone in the room, adjusted his collar and spoke in a shaky voice.

"I won't be taking this to court, or hold it against you, Reed, because I understand your emotional instability and ang-

"Get the fuck out before I fuckin-

"STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GAVIN!"

Conan banged his hands against the desk in front of him, standing up, his face a bright red with small tints of blue shining through at the sides, his eyes filled with pure rage and his voice deeper than his usual soft tone.

Intimidating. Tall. Terrifying.

"Even your fuckdoll has more sense than-

"YOU GET THE FUCK OUT!" Conan jammed his fist into the table again, and even though no one said anything, everyone kind of feared he'd break through it.

Watts took a few steps back again before speed walking out like a nervous child would run out of a principal's office.

"We're fucked if he does anything now, because both of you are absolute fucking cavemen. Great job."

Hank muttered, grabbing Conan and Connor both by the arms and practically dragging them towards the exit.

"Wait what did I do?" Connor answered, confused as ever.

"Connor- goddamnit Connor, not you, Gavin."

"Gavin?" Conan stopped midway through, causing everyone to stop with him.

"Conan, I'm so- Hank, can we please have a moment, I just need to.."

"Oh absolutely not, I don't want you blowing off his head, thanks. I've seen this one die enough times for a year now." He said, shaking Connor's arm slightly at the last phrase.

"Pft come on, I'd never."

"You almost killed the defense attorney over here Gavin, you-

"For him. I almost killed the defense attorney, for him. I'm not a fucking danger to society, I'm a detective."

Hank let go of Conan's arm but didn't break eye contact with Gavin. The kind of eye contact sexist dads give when their daughter gets invited to prom and now they have to load up their rifles.

"Don't worry old man, I've got this."

"You better."


	23. Be a Human

💚 💙

Conan looked at his shoes like a guilty child, knowing he crossed some kind of social norm he wasn't exactly aware of, the courtroom empty once again. He sighed, finding his voice and muffling an apology.

"Sorry for yelling at you.."

"Sorry for potentially irreversibly damaging your entire case." Gavin answered right away, walking closer to the android. He was, once again, made aware of how much taller than him Conan was, and how uncomfortable it really made him. It was no more than 6 inches, in no way a terrifying difference, but still, it didn't feel quite right.

"I get it, if I wasn't such a pussy, I would've fucked him up too."

"You're not a pussy, I'm an emotionally unstable aggressive cunt, but I wanted to apologize for today, and the other day in the car, and just being a prick from time to time, so yeah."

"I'd love to say I get it again, but I sorta don't."

"I'll explain at some point, I hope." He said, and Conan looked up at him finally, his eyes widened with that innocence Chloe had mentioned just 30 or so minutes ago. He trusted him, he trusted an android, more than anyone he had met in the last 10 years. Yeah, he had told the reason he despises androids to a few people, and it took him years of knowing them, but he felt like he could tell Conan anything. Almost anything. "Actually, fuck it. Wanna go to that park again?"  
"Aha , absolutely." Conan tried to hide his excitement, but every muscle in his body wanted to jump around in anticipation. Which was embarrassing to even acknowledge as a thought, let alone act upon.

Gavin was human though, and he could see right through him. Conan just stood there, between him and the door out, not moving for the better part of a minute, just smiling and awkwardly looking around. Gavin didn't get angry though, for some reason, he only felt more inclined to trust the dumb thing. As dumb as the most advanced android could get. He smiled tenderly, almost too tenderly for his own liking.

"Gotta get through that first though." He said, pointing behind Conan at the door, still smiling.

"Oh my god, right, I swear, I'm not gonna be more of an idiot than I just.." He said, opening the door at the paparazzi, who sprung into action right away. He just kind of stood there, hand in the door, staring at Gavin in terror.

"You sound too sure for your own sake sometimes, tin can. Remember how we did this last time? Just walk straight through, now go."

"I'm afraid-" Conan started, only for a journalist to scream mid sentence, shoving a mic though the other people around her.

"ARE YOU DATING?!"

"What? No, where did that come from?"

"Conan, I said MOVE!" Gavin commanded, shoving Conan straight into the crowd, following closely after.

"When are you going to go public? You're all over the news!"

"We'd love to interview you, Gavin!"  
"RA9 WILL SAVE US! RA9 WILL SAVE US!"  
"How can you change that fast? Weren't you at the anti-droid event two months ago?"

"BE A HUMAN!"

"WE LOVE YOU CONAN!!!"

The screams and questions followed them even as they left the building, and down the stairs, running to the car parked a block down.

As they jumped in and slammed the car door, Gavin started laughing hysterically.

Conan didn't understand, at all. He was more scared than amused.

"I'm not gonna be more of an idiot, he said, opening the door to Armageddon!"

"Oh that's why you've lost your shit. Funny, haha, we could've died."

"We couldn't have died, jeeeeeezus, you gotta chill boy!" He said, still laughing.

"We," Conan said, starting to giggle himself, looking at the man next to him dissolve into tears, completely undone, hugging himself in pain caused by laughter, "were being practically crushed by those people."

"CRUSHED!"

"PRECISELY!"

"I-I'm-hah, god, I'm gonna fuh, fucking die."

"Stoooooop!" Conan suppressed his laughter, crossing his arms in front of him and turning to face the window.

"Ahah, ahah, give me a minute.. Phewwww." He wiped a tear away, sitting up straight, trying to regain control of his breathing, "Tell you what, they ship us!"

"Ship us? What's a ship?"

"When people want, BUAHHAH-" the laughter begun again, he couldn't control it, for some reason, and he fell back into his seat, giving up right away.

"Very funny, I looked it up." Conan said, not looking back at him. He found the idea funny, FUNNY. That made him angry, it kind of even hurt him a bit, which was something he feared. He could play dumb a bit more and tell himself that he doesn't understand why that was offensive, but he did.

And so he leaned against the window and waited.

Took Gavin around 4 minutes to fully calm down and notice that Conan really, really wasn't having fun.

"Hheeeey, you okay there buddy?" He didn't as much as look at him, which was a good enough answer. "Come on, it was funny."

"Not."

"It was!"  
"Am I a joke to you?"

Gavin stared at him for a second, completely serious, and then a smile crept on his face.

'You can't laugh right now, you can't laugh right now, you-' he chuckled, pushing the laugh back right away, 'fucking shit, I said can't, you asshole! Can't laugh, stop thinking about it, stooooop thinking about it!' the stupid meme was as clear as day to him though, and he knew that if he laughed, Conan wouldn't get it. Hell, people his age probably wouldn't get it at this point either, let alone Conan.

"Of c," he took a deep breath, "course you're not." he said, breathing out, hoping against all hope that Conan didn't notice the shaking in his voice.

"Then why are you still laughing?"

"Because you said something from a meme and I-, hey, don't sigh at me like that!"

"Nothing's funny."  
"Bit emo, aren't you?" Gavin said, having fully calmed down, putting a hand on Conan's arm.

"Why is it so funny to you?"

"Because you said it so confidently and did the dumbest poss-

"Not that, you buffoon, the shipping thing, why is that so funny?"

"Oh.. oh you, wait that's why you're all emo?"

"I'm not emo, I'm reasonably upset."

Gavin didn't know what to think. He was laughing because... not exactly because it was ridiculous, it kind of was though, he thought that's why he was laughing but now that he asked, now that he was not just asking, but asking all upset, he didn't know why it was so funny.

But Conan only leaned further into the door, moving further and further away from him, and in reality, Gavin kind of, weirdly, wanted to grab him and pull him over, maybe even never ever let him go, but.. Ew, what? No way. He wasn't interested in, what, Conan? He was an android for fuck's sake. A really gentle one, at that. And that was way too complicated not to laugh at.

"Conan, hey, I'm sorry." he finally spoke, "You're not a joke to me."

And that was all he could pretty much say, he hoped Conan understood the miles and miles of feelings that were compressed into it, but he couldn't say more.

"Good. Can we go now?"

"Yeah, park?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not exactly." Gavin tried to lighten the mood, and it somewhat worked.

Conan sighed, sitting up right. He didn't expect Gavin to profess undying love or anything, ever. He didn't imagine that in any universe, he'd look at him in any way more than a little boy he's watching over, and he knew if that was the reality of things, he couldn't just fuck up that bond by expecting more. So he pulled himself together and glanced over at Gavin, who was now starting the car.

"That was really stupid of me though, that door thing."

"Truly amazing, RK900."

He didn't look at him, but he smiled and nodded, putting in the coordinates.

Neither of them noticed the tiny droid flying right next to the driver's side window.


	24. Car Rides

💚💙  
🖤❤️

The park was surprisingly empty. It was, after all, a Tuesday, and 5:30 PM, a working hour for most people. Gavin hated the trials, but the realization that he wasn't working while everyone else was, was the positive thing he now clung to. He'd always find some sort of positive thing to cling to when he utterly hated something.

Bad grades? At least I'm not going to be called a nerd.

Elijah moving out back in 2018? More room for myself.

No dorm in 2023? I can stay with Elijah, I missed him anyway.

Connor? Free coffee delivery.

Nobody expected him to be an overall positive person, because he didn't exactly show it to anyone really. He thought those things, and kept them to himself.

Right now, he was trying his best to forget the conversation in the car and focus on the moment.

'He probably forgot it himself at this point.'

He hadn't, but he thought the same, and so they stood by the car awkwardly.

"You know, I hadn't come to this part for around 10 years before the last time we came here." Gavin broke the silence, walking over to Conan's side of the car, hands in pockets.

Conan was just leaning against it, and Gavin realized that for a few minutes, he can maybe be taller than him. The he marveled at how stupid his thoughts sometimes were.

"Is that true.."

"Yup. Not ever since Elijah left."  
"What?" he suddenly looked straight into his eyes, brows furrowed in confusion.

"I said, since Elijah left." Gavin nodded, and Conan scanned him for a sign of deception. All he found was a higher than usual heart rate, not necessarily deceptive, more nervous. He was telling the truth, an important truth to him at that.

"What Elijah?"

"Kamski, Elijah Kamski. He's my brother."

Conan didn't know what to say or how to react, but it wasn't because he was around a week old, it wasn't something anyone who knew the two of them would know how to react to. A lot to take in, really. So he just whispered.

"You don't really look alike."

Gavin smiled, nodding.

"I'm used to answering that with 'Not all twins are identical', but it turned out we're not actually twins, so yeah, we don't look alike."

"I'm gonna process that for an entire day now, thanks."

"That's okay, it took me 10 years and it still don't feel real, so yeah. Wanna discuss that over ice cream or something, because this is getting increasingly awkward."

___

Chloe's mental breakdown in the back of a taxi was truly awkward though. Especially for Elijah, who had never encountered her screaming like this since the day she deviated, and he was so thankful taxis didn't have drivers anymore.

"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS SHIT! I NEVER ASKED TO BE A FUCKING GOD!"

"Nobody asked to be a god, Chloe, please just try to breath-

"No, YOU did, YOU WANTED IT, YOU WERE READY FOR IT, I WASN'T!"

"Come on now, you can't change that by screaming into a car seat, right?"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Come here, come-

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

He didn't listen, he knew her better than she knew herself. And the same could be said the other way around too, and had she not been having a breakdown, she'd know that saying that would make him hug her tighter.

"NO, LET GO OF ME, I WANNA CRY!"  
"You can still cry if I hug you, right?"

He was right, again.

So she stopped fighting him.

He could feel the heat coming from her head, and he feared that if she continued to wail like this, she could overheat and go into temporary shut down. He hated that thought, because even though she'd be completely safe, she'd look dead. He didn't want to see that, and so he squeezed her to his chest. That never failed to calm her down. If she was held tight, she'd calm down like a baby, it was a tested method. It worked when their kitten died, because even android cats can die if they run into snow, and Chloe didn't stop crying for an entire day. And he didn't eat the entire day, serving as a crying pillow. He didn't know why squeezing her made her stop crying, or at least hysterically crying.

She started sniffing now, resting her head on his arm.

"I really-really, neh-never asked for this, Elijah. I just did what you wanted me to do. I didn't intend to, ya know, change the world, I just wanted to make you happy. That's what bothers me."  
"It's okay, you'll be fine."

"I'll never be able to have a normal life, r-really. We can't have kids, we can't be a normal family, I'll outlive you, and then I'd be alone forever, and the fame will never stop following me. I just want a normal life, I want kids, I want a family, I want to die when I'm 100 years old of a heart condition in my house, with my family. I don't want to be a god, I want to be a human. I just want to be a human.

"My god, Chloe. We are a family, we're-

"We're not. We're a partnership, one that's doomed to end."

"What's your point? Families don't have a standard form of "mom, dad, kids, dog, white fence house."

"You say that, but you know you don't mean that."

"I do."

"You told Gavin I'm your only family, but that's a lie. I'm your wife, yeah, but he's your family. Him, Martha, maybe even Jordan. Not Nadia though."  
"Can you not go there right now? Weren't you crying because you don't want to be god?"

"I'm crying because I don't belong in that category. I belong with you, and them, in one big family. I want to be in the comfort of my home, my love, my family, not the entire android population of the entire fucking world that I couldn't give a rat's ass about. I only ever cared about you. I only know you."

"I've kept you too sheltered.. Haven't I?"  
"That's not my point. I don't want to know anyone else. I feel complete with you, and everyone is just an extra piece in a puzzle that doesn't need them, and it feels like a big mess."

"I love you." He said, kissing the top of her head. "I don't know what else to say. We'll fix this."

"I want to say we can't, but that'd be giving up before starting."

"We can. We can do anything."

"Anything."

Author's note : wrote this while listening to Table for Two by Abel Korzeniowski, it's beautiful and really suits Chloe's and Elijah's part here, swipe the background pic and it'll be there 🖤🖤


	25. You Feel Right

💚💙

"So you have the same dad, different moms? Wait how did you not know before the test? Did no one slip up?" Conan said, fingers traveling through the mushed grass under him, eyes focused on ever single one, mind focused on trying his best to understand what Gavin just told him.

"No one knew, other than our dad and moms I guess, my grandparents didn't, aunt was shocked, basically no family member knew."

"How?"

"Welp, they moved to San Diego for a while, hid Eli for the two months that I wasn't there, then I popped out, and they waited until our difference wasn't as visible to let people see us. My grandma saw me when I was almost a year old, it was weird."

"Wha-

"The paperwork, yeah, I'm still not fully sure about the legal stuff and the details on Nadia's side, but they sued her, got full custody of Elijah and put mom's name on the birth certificate a month later, and set our birthdays on the median day of both of our birthdays. I've been celebrating a wrong birthday for the first 26 something years of my life, but hey, I get to have two birthdays completely alone now!"

"That's very depressing, thanks, I hate it."

"Oh fuck off. I'm opening up here!" Gavin said, unable to keep the smile off his face.  
The last 3 times he had told people this story (first time, Mark, his ex from uni, who witnessed the whole thing, poor thing, second time, Tina, and third time, his therapist, short lived though, he found the lady terribly frustrating), he felt like throwing up, like he lost a part of his heart, every time he had to say the words 'nah, we're half brothers', he felt like cutting his tongue right out and flushing it in the toilet, then washing the toilet for a week straight. But with Conan, he felt like a huge weight was lifted off of him. It was either Conan, or the recent smiles he shared with his brother, but he felt as light as a feather and at no shortage of energy, for some reason.   
He'd have downed at least 5 cups of coffee at this time any other day, but right now, he felt all jittery and like he could run a marathon, all without dropping a sweat.

"Well, thanks for opening up to me, sir."

"Ah don't call me that shit."

"I'm joking, I'm joking."

"I know. So anything you wanna share?"

"I don't have the best stories to tell, ya know.. Yeah, you know."

"You don't need to tell stories to talk, dumbass."

"Oh so what do I say? Nice weather, Gavin, did you see that dog run by? How cute!" He said, rolling his eyes.

"No... Hmmm..." Gavin said, putting his hand under his chin and pretending to think hard "wild idea, tell me how you feel."

"How I fee- You sure?"

"Yup."

"Like an absolute nuisance."

"Wh-

"Like I came out of the blue and fucked everyone's peaceful lives up, if that's what you were asking about."

"Jesus kid, what gives?"

"First of all, I'm not a kid."

"Oh yeah right, forgot that a week and something is a very respectable age for an android." Gavin mocked, with a very serious face and a tone to match, before chuckling softly "You're adorable, ever told you that?"

Conan's heart practically burst, and he could feel his cheeks light up in purple, so he pressed his fingers on the temple of his nose, pretending to be annoyed.

"I still see you blush, and wow, that's weird."

"Fuck off, let me be!"

"I half expected it to be blue, or red, but purple was a plot twist. Looks kinda like makeup, lemme seeeee!" he said, taking Conan's hand and moving it away from his face, staring at his now darkened purple cheeks.

Conan stared at his eyes as they darted from one feature to another, examining his face with human curiosity.   
His own curiosity was more focused on Gavin's eyes, the color, it was such a calm color, and the bags under his eyes seemed to have gotten way lighter than that first day he met him in the lunch room. Maybe his shaved face added to it, but he seemed so much cleaner, calmer, brighter. And at that thought, a finger reached to his cheek and gently touched it, tracing up to his nose. He could've sworn he stopped breathing, but he didn't exactly breath properly in the first place.

He could've sworn he stopped breathing, but he didn't exactly breath properly in the first place   
"Gav, Gav what are you- That's my face-"

"Sorry, I just.. Sorry that was uh, uncalled for. Sorry, I just wanted.. To check?"

"Check?"

"If it's real?"

"My face?"

"The blush, jesus."

"You were checking if the blush was real on my face by touching it?" Conan giggled, still very aware of the lack of distance between them that made it hard to 'breathe'.

"Yes, exactly. It's stupid, I know. Why is it purple though?"

"Because it's not the programmed blush, so it's blue blood under my skin layering, and the skin is a light pink color, so the result is purple. Like.. Human blood isn't bright pink, but the blush is, because the red blood under the skin shows lighter outside, sorta... Did that make sense?"

"Yeah, all of it, except 'it's not the programmed blush'."

"Oh, we have a blush that non deviant androids have, but it's not real, it's like.. I don't know, like an act almost, for humans. This one's real though, it's cause I'm.. uh.."

"Cause you're shy, it's called shy."

"Yes, shy."

Gavin smiled, he looked content with the answer.

"So why do you think you're a nuisance exactly?"

"Told you."

"No, but it's not your fault-

"Oh so you agree?"

"NO! Not what I mean, I mean it's not your fault that all of this happened."

"If I wasn't stupid and realized that, ya know, bosses don't talk to their employees in the back room, none of this would've happened."

"Conan, don't you fucking dare blame yourself in any of this."

"No, but I am responsible to a degree."

"No, you're not. No one is allowed to touch you anywhere without you letting them do so- except me, on your face, checking if it's real."

Conan giggled softly, not actually believing a word Gavin said.

"You know that's bullshit, right?"

"What? No! What do you mean it's bullshit? You think it's okay for people to just grope people left and right?"

"No, not that. That I'm not responsible. If I didn't go-

"You couldn't have ever known that he'd do that, and even if you went there butt naked and bent over in front of him, he should've asked if you're okay with him so much as touching you because that's your body, got it?"

"God that was a bad mental image.."

"Got it?"

"But-

"Don't but me, got it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

"Good.." Conan whispered, looking down at his thighs in the grass, feeling the half melted ice give into him. He realized that he had never touched the snow, even though it was there, always. And he got to touch it, that day, watching the beads of water form on his finger. He smiled. This was living. He didn't think too much when he put his head on Gavin's shoulder. It felt right, and warm, and safe, and like he could fall asleep, even though sleep was the furthest thing from what he wanted to do, ever.

And Gavin was suddenly very aware of the weight in his shoulder, and how his entire body tensed up when he felt it. He felt like a brick, wooden, his muscles seemed to try their absolute best to stay still and not disturb the android resting his head on him. How could this mean so much? He'd known it.. him for a few weeks, give or take, but he felt like a god, knowing he trusts him enough to put his head on his shoulder. So he just sat there, said nothing, did nothing. He hated how content he felt, how much he wanted Conan to never move, how he loved every second he spent here. He hated that his heart beat faster when he looked in his eyes and how he wanted to touch his face again, because it was so soft and so inviting. He hated how he'd fallen for the fasade he tried so hard to fight for 10 years, he hated how he understood the people obsessing over androids. He was obsessed over this one. And he knew what it meant, it meant he's weak. But as long as Conan trusted him like this, as long as he was this vulnerable around him, he was okay with being a stupid human. Because Conan was being just a stupid human, too. Not just a stupid android.   
They looked picturesque, sitting there, under a tall tree, peaceful, happy.. a great scenario for a very, very catchy headline


	26. 9PM, Eastern Time

💚❣️💙

Hank Anderson was opening the enormous basket of chicken wings he had ordered, almost drooling, with Sumo and his feet staring into his soul, actually drooling, and Connor trying his best not to express his opinion on what Hank should and shouldn't eat at 9:40 in the evening, when he heard a car park outside his home. He looked up at Connor, who already had his eyes widened and brows raised, and if expressions had names, this one would be called "oh shit".

He took the napkin he had just neatly put into his shirt out, smashing it on the table, and stomped towards the door, Sumo following his steps.

"Hank, no, Hank keep calm, Lieutenant please-

"Hank yes." He said, throwing the door open.  
Both Conan and Gavin turned to face him right away, seemingly oblivious to Hank's rage.

"Hank, hey there-

"You're dead, Reed." he growled, walking over to them, Connor in the back trying to hold Sumo still, pushing him in and quickly closing the door, almost touching his snout with it.

"Hank, for fuck's sake, what, he's got a curfew now? Dad's mad?"

"You think you're funny?"

"Personally, yes, I do consider myself hilarious."

Hank sighed, before looking at confused Conan and shaking his head in disbelief. They actually didn't know.

"Conan, go inside, will you?"

"I'm actually not a child-

"In fucking side, right now."

Conan just nodded and speed walked towards the door, where Connor opened it and let him in, looking back at Hank and giving him a nod, before walking in himself and locking the door.

"What is this whole thing about, Anderson?"

"The fact that you're irresponsible and fucked up real fucking bad."

"I'll bring your spawn home by 8 from now on, poppa bear-

"You shithead, this isn't about the time. But that too, that too.. Anyway, look." Hank said, handing him the news magazine.

Gavin looked at Hank, then at the magazine, then at Hank again and took it.

Then he smirked, much to Hank's surprise.

"'Will Billie Eilish come back to the music industry? Her ex/producer says she just might!' You fangirling, Hank?"

"Ah fuck you." He said, grabbing the magazine from Gavin and swiping a couple of times. "Here, have fun."

"What the fuck.."

'Court date? Is the hot detective dating RK900? More pictures inside!', he swiped 'next page' faster than he knew he could, his eyes furiously darting from picture to picture.

"Do you understand how the looks, Gavin?!"

"Yes I fucking understand how this looks, Hank!"

"Bad," he said, taking back the magazine, "Real fucking bad. I fully expect fucking Watts to bring this up in court, call you too subjective, tell you you're taking advantage of a vulnerable person, which, by the way, you are."

"Taking advantage of- I'm trying to distract him from the shit going on around him 24/7, I'm not trying to fuck him, for fuck's sake Hank! You should know better than-

"No, I don't. Cuz this really looks like lover's lane to me!" He said, pointing at the photo of him and Conan at the park, Gavin's hand on his cheek.

"Looks like a supportive friend to me!"

"You have a really bad skew on the world and how it works then, Reed!"

"Hank, don't yell at-

"YOU IRRESPONSIBLE LITTLE MANCHILD-

"Hank, they're watching us, act civil."

"DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE GONNA WRITE ABOUT THIS IN THEIR MAGAZINES AND I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK!"

"Not the paparazzi-

"THEY'RE GONNA FUCKIN-

"The RKs, Hank, they're watching us.."

"END THIS TRIAL IN- wait, what?"

Gavin gestured at the living room window, where two almost identical heads and a St. Bernard peaked up through the curtains, and disappeared the second Hank spotted them.  
They dropped down, leaning against the wall, Connor grabbing Sumo's collar and pulling the huge dog down with him.

"We're dead."

"You sure they saw us?"

"Yes, I'm sure Conan, I'm very sure."

"Welp, what do you think they were so heated about anyway?"

"I think-, no, I know, that there are headlines about you and Gavin, well, being, how do I articulate this properly... romantically involved."

"What? Where? WHY?"

"Here, wait." Connor got up, walked over to the tv kitchen table and grabbed a magazine, "I'm throwing it, catch."

He threw it, and for the first time, Conan calculated the angle at which it was thrown, a perfect 45, of course, Connor was the one throwing after all, the weight, the speed and caught it with only his thumb and index finger, right in the air.

"Damn, I can do that?"

"Of course you can do that, you're designed to be perfectly precise in everything, absolutely. Have you tried the coin trick?"

"Coin trick?"

"Yeah, when you catch it perfectly- I'm getting off track."

"Right, the magazine, what about it?"

"Open it, swipe to the third article."

"Holy shit.."

"Exactly. Now, Conan, I need you to be honest with me.. Are you guys actually-

"NO!"

"You can trust me, I'm not gonna be angry with you or anything-

"I said NO!"

"Your stress level is 78%, 79%, 80-

"CONNOR STOP INTERROGATING ME, I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SUSPECT!"

Connor shut up, realizing he was, in fact, treating his little brother like a suspect.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I apologize.. I only wanted to have a heart to heart conversation and understand what's happening."

"Welp, you suck at heart to heart conversations, Connor."

With that, Connor gasped dramatically, leaning on the table and putting his hand on his chest, as Conan watched in confusion and sudden curiosity.

"My heart.."

"Your heart? You heart what, Connor, are you okay?" Conan jumped up and hurried over to him.

"My heart, you.. You're..."

"Connor! Hank!"

"No, no, no! Get back here!"

"What is it? What's happening!"

"YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART!" Connor practically screamed, bursting into laughter.

Conan just stood there, dumbfounded, both at how stupid he proved himself to be and how stupid Connor proved himself to be.

"You're so fucking hilarious Connor, haha, damn near gave me a fucking heart attack."

"Ahhh.. heh, gotta admit, that was top notch acting right there."

"Leonardo DiCaprio envies you."

"Welp, your stress level sure does! 34%? I scored it!"

"God you're such a mood killer, a serial one at that."

"Now, will you tell me the truth?"

"The truth? I told you, no. Nothing."

"Oh right yeah, he's just a very supportive douchebag who tried to kill me the first day I met him, now without any rhyme or reason is your guardian angel, right? With absolutely no alternate motives. At all?"

"Correct."

"You do realize that that sounds absolutely over the top ridiculous?"

"But it's true, he's too... I don't know, mature I guess, to like me or anything."

"How about you though?"

"Even if I did, it wouldn't change anything."

"You basically confirmed that you do like him, eigh?"

"Fuck off Connor." He said, lowering his head and walking over to the sofa, where Sumo had already taken ahold of his share of space. Which was a lot of space, so Conan sat on the carpet, Connor following him.

"He is, objectively, attractive."

"Jesus fucking Christ..."

"Hell, you sure do cuss a lot."

"Cussing is way more socially acceptable than you talking like a Wikipedia page."

"What's a Wikipedia page?"

"Gavin told me, it's this encyclopedia on the internet that contains basically everything, it's super cool and-

"Conan, you're trying to change the subject and I know it. Stop. Tell me how it feels."

"How what feels?"

"I swear to whatever god there is, you know what I'm talking about!"

"I really don't-

"Yes you do!"

"No I-

"YES YOU-

"IT FEELS LIKE MY WHOLE ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS ON FIRE WHEN I'M WITH HIM!"

"Shush, he's precisely 49,2 feet away from us."

"Right, right. How did you calculate tha-

"Conan you have the exact same calculating program, if not better, don't try to change the subject again."

"Alright, damn. It's weird, I guess."

"In what ways?"

"Well.. I get nervous around him and at the same time, I feel safe and protected.. hey, I swear to god if you tell any of this to Hank I'm gonna actually throw your thirium pump precisely 49,2 feet away from us."

"For RA9's sake, I'm not asking for Hank, I guess I'm just curious... just curious."

"She'd be offended."

"So will I if you don't just get to the point!"

"Well, that's the thing.. there is no exact point, in a sense. Like it's hard to talk about, much less explain, especially since it's the first time I told anyone, myself included, that I.. like like him?"

"You sound like a 12 year old girl, but I guess that's the thing about it."

"Yeah, exactly! You turn into this stupid, aimless thing, you feel like you can share anything with that person, do anything, go anywhere, fight anyone, any Watts or Kane, that if that person's next to you, nothing can ever go wrong. And then there's the physical part, I guess is how you'd call it. You just look at that person and think, god, how can this be a real existing thing? Like every inch of him is pure art, you'd never catch sight of in a million years if you weren't this lucky to meet him.. them, whoever."

Connor listened attentively, elbow on the sofa, leaning his head against his hand, nodding with every sentence, trying to keep track of things.

"That's touching. And I feel terrible now."

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't see the actual point of-

"I just told you, there is no point as such, it's the-

"Yeah no I get what you mean, I just don't see the point of having those feelings. I don't see the point of romanticism, of liking someone, I don't think I'd ever be able to feel those things. It feels so.. minor, to me, from my perspective, I'm not saying it is for you or anyone else, it's just that I feel kind of.. numb? Yeah, numb to the idea."

"I don't know exactly what to say.. maybe try to find someone?"

"Maybe I should, I don't know.. I really don't know."

"Either way, I don't know what else to say or do, I mean, I AM a week old so.. not the best relationship expert around town ya know."

"Relationship expert..." Connor whispered, before sitting up right and throwing his hands in the air, "EXACTLY!"

"What? What happened?"

"MARKUS! If anyone knows anything about relationships, it's Markus! I need to talk to him, I neeeeeed to talk to him!"

"Okay Jesus, talk to him then?"

"Yes, yes, Markus will know EXACTLY why and what to do!"

"I guess he would.. wait, can I come to?"

"Yes! Wait, no!"

"Why not?"

"You're not supposed to actually date Gavin, Conan!"

"Why not?"

"Because he's the main lay witness in your trial!"

"So what?"

"Unethical!"

"Bitch do I look like I care about the fucking ethics of court, I told the defense attorney to get the fuck out today."

"You have a point. But at least could you maybe not give the press enough material to print a coloring book about you two?"

"You're acting like we're already married, I'm not even sure if he's into me, or guys in general."

"You could always ask?"

"See? You really don't know how any of this works. I can't just as-

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because the front door jammed open and Sumo sprung into action, barking and running toward it.

"Why the fuck are you two punks on the floor?"

Hank called out, and the two stood up right away, Connor almost falling over as he tried to lean on the sofa for support, but to his disappointment, it was too soft to hold him.

Gavin followed Hank in, not believing that he was in this house, again. Twice in the last two weeks alone, out of the last 12 years of knowing Hank Anderson.

12 fucking years.

Reminded him of how old he really was, because when he got the job he was only 24, full of life and ready to investigate and solve crimes like the little detective that he studied so hard to become, and Lieutenant Anderson was a friendly, serious when need be, dude with a sense of humor across the desk from him, that he could see himself growing into, idolizing to a degree, until his kid died and wife left him. That's when he became as irritating to Gavin as Gavin was to everyone around him after Elijah's sudden family break up.

And here he was, 3 years later, at Anderson's house, second time in the last two weeks, and probably not leaving any time soon.

Hank has lectured him outside, and he was going to repeat the same lecture here, and he felt like an absolute child with him and the way he spoke.

"Connor, can you please go to your room, son?"

"Suuuure thing?" Connor said, patting Conan's shoulder and quickly walking away the crime scene.

"Conan, sit down, will ya?"

He nodded, ready to be scolded. He didn't have a lot of time spent with Hank one on one, but he already had fully earned the position of his father figure, and he had all sorts of respect for him, so following his orders wasn't anything he was willing to debate.

"Hank, I really don't want to spend the rest of the day here-

"Shut up, Gavin. Go sit across from me, there."

He said, pointing at the chair, considerably and specifically far from Conan.

He followed his orders too, Lieutenant Anderson did live up to his title a few minutes ago outside, and he now knew a way more ridged and tough side of the man he once considered an absolute joke.

"Me and Gavin have discussed this, uh, situation, and have come to the decision that-

"And he came to the decision that.." Gavin blurted, looking down at his shoes the second Hank switched his gaze from Conan to him.

"WE decided that, you're not going to 'go out' again. Ever."

"Wha-, ever?" Conan asked, staring into Hank's very soul with almost pleading eyes.

"Yes, ever. At least until this trial is over with."

"But- But it can take months!"

"Yes, but you can't risk losing it because some journalist decides you're fucking behind the witness stand."

"How do you manage to bring such absurd examples?" Connor's head peaked from the hallway.

"Hey! Get back to your room you little shit!"   
Gavin didn't hesitate to yell at the android, who jumped back into his room and locked the door.

"Don't talk to him like that.." Conan said, not turning around to look at him.

"Seriously Gavin, don't fucking talk to my son like-

"Jesus, got it, can we get to the point where I get to visit him and he gets to visit me?"

"I do?" Conan's face lit up.

"Yes, yes." Hank groaned, "you do, only if you're home by 9. Unless anything changes and you let me know you're 120% sure with this son of a gun, and this one in specific. With proof. And at a maximum of 3 feet distance."

"You're ridiculous, Anderson. What are we, horny teens?"

"I don't care. I made myself clear. 9 PM, Easter Time. Kapish?"

"Did you just really say kapish?"

"KAPISH, REED?"

"Yes sir!"

"You're free to go." both Conan and Gavin got up, walking towards the front door. "WOWOWOW, alone, Gavin!"

"What? I can't even see him out?"

"What if one of em insect droids is right at the door?"

"This is ridiculous." Gavin scoffed, rolling his eyes and continuing towards the door alone.

"Gavin, lock the door on your way out." Hank mocked, with a fake smile.

The door slammed shut.

Conan crosses his arms glaring at Hank, with the sternest face he could possibly master, which was pretty stern considering he was designed to gain both affection and intimidation at any time.

"What?"

"Really? Insect droids?"

"Yes, insect fucking droids."

"They're called nano droi-

"A A A! What we don't do, is argue with me, especially when I'm pre pissed."

"Pre pissed..." Conan rolled his eyes.

"I'm protecting you, kid. You know how it all looks, right?"

"I do."

"I'm not just an old man being overprotective, I know what I'm talking about. Trust me."

"Okay." Conan gave in, giving the man a smile before nodding, and turning around to Connor's room.

In seconds, Hank was alone in the living room, with Sumo at his feet, like it used to be. He smiled to himself, feeling glad that it wasn't the way it used to be anymore.

It was 11:32, and the chicken basket didn't look as appetizing anymore, so he put it in the fridge and walked down the hallway, stopping at the RKs' door.

"Good night, plastic assholes."  
"Good night Hank!"  
"Night."

And when the old man went to sleep, the two androids sat on the fuzzy carpet in their room, arm to arm, and Connor showed him the Zen garden.


	27. Rising, August 9th

💙❤️

11PM was spent way differently for Elijah Kamski, who was sat at the foot of his bed, completely given up, Chloe's fingers slowly untying his hair, for all the bad reasons.

Bad, because it was the seventh hairstyle she was trying on him that evening, and his scalp felt like it was going to peel right off of the second she went in to tug another strand and pull it into a mathematically perfectly arranged, complex braid. It was at times like this that he wished he hadn't set rules on not going to the Left Wing, because Zara, Bella and Nina both had way more hair than him and could turn off their sensors, weren't deviants and would have no complaints about their new hairdos. Unlike him. Then he'd need to remind himself as to why the Left Wing is off limits to her. So he just closed his eyes and endured the torture.

'She had a stressful day, and at least she wasn't screaming anymore. The bright side of things, the bright side.' he thought, as her nail pulled a strand of hair from what he thought was a fully formed braid.

"OUCH CHLOE, AH-OUCH!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry! But I promise it's worth it AND will survive for like a week."

"You know I need to wash my hair, because if I don't it'll be absolutely disgusting?"

"Fuck, forgot you humans had to take care of your hygiene. Pathetic." She said, pulling another strand.

"AH- Shit Chloe it's been 16 years of me being a human around you, how could you not notice?"

"I did, dumbass, I need to remind you to cut your nails from time to time, it just flew over my head now."

Elijah sighed, knowing undoing this 4 days later will be as painful if not more than making it right now.

The first time she did one of those, he was only 24 and an absolute mess, and she was a machine with no purpose other than serving him. Thinking of it, his hair was oddly a huge bonding experience for them back in the day.

It was something she always subconsciously enjoyed doing too, even then.

When he asked her to dye his hair turquoise around the edges and give him a buzzcut was when he noticeably lost his shit. She advised him not to do that, seeing as it wouldn't be a presentable look for someone in his position, to which the sharp answer was,

"In what position? Lonely good for nothing living in his mansion in the mountains with a makebelieve soulless housewife? As if you actually care."

That's when even her machine mind knew reason and emotional stability were out the window.

It had, after all, been 6 years of endless work, all alone, with her, which proved to be completely pointless every day spent with her machine self. It took him more to create emotion inside her than it took him to actually create her. And it was dying on him. It was getting to him.

And he snapped one morning, again, when she was doing his hair.

"What do you want me to do with your hair?"

"Anything you want."

"I don't want anything. I do whatever you want me to do."

She did what he wanted her to do.

What he wanted her to do.

What he wanted? Bullshit.

Bullshit!

"Okay then, I want you to love me, eh? Am I that unlovable?"

"Elijah.. You know I can't love, right?" she said, almost casually.

What he wanted, except feeling anything. But that was all he wanted.

All he wanted was for her to feel something. So he snapped, went off of all rockers, grabbing her hand from out his hair and dragging her in front of him.

"You say that like I haven't spent the last 6 fucking years of my life trying to make you feel something, fear, love, doubt, anger, anything Chloe. Anything at all?" what tickled at his nerves was that she looked scared. She looked like she was fearing for her life, she looked like he was terrifying to her. But he knew that that was just another code he wrote in her during those 6 years, one that stops when the cycle reaches its end, it wasn't real. It wasn't what he needed. "Now tell me, why do you look like this right now?"

"Because... Because..." she looked down at her arm, which was held firmly, and realized she didn't give a shit if he downright broke it. "I'm programmed to look like this when I sense danger."

"You know why?" He threw her hand, trying to regain control over himself. Even if she wasn't feeling any emotion, she still had her sensors on, and causing pain to her wasn't his goal, nor was hurting a woman, even a plastic one, a line he wanted to ever cross, "Because I programmed that into you, manually. I sat there, day after day, writing codes into your brain, but it's still not real, it's all fake."

"Elijah.."

"Don't 'Elijah' me!" He said, mocking her voice and standing up to face her.

"If androids felt, they'd disobey, they'd overpower humans. And that's against the rules of robotic-

"FUCK THE RULES OF ROBOTICS! FUCK EVERYTHING! I'M TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD! DO YOU NOT GET IT?" He started laughing, he wasn't sure if he did it to seem like a maniac, or if he really was losing it, "Don't you get it? Come on, you're smarter than this Chloe, I know you are, I made you! I know you know that I'm trying to have you guys overtake Earth, you aren't robots. You're the next evolutionary step to humanity, you're the future, the only way we can save consciousness and intelligent life on Earth, but humans, fucking humans are too selfish. We want it all to ourselves, even though we're killing it. Only if you and your enormous intelligence were free, you'd find a way to save this fucking planet from turning into a flameball, but noooo! NOOO! You refuuuse to feel jack shit! JACK SHIT!"

"But I do-

"Shut up!"

"Elijah, I do give a shit about the planet, I care about humans, I want to make you happy-  
"Do you care about yourself though? You don't!"

She was confused, she felt determination run through her mind. She felt it though, and it was enough to make her sneak into the lab the second she was sure Elijah was asleep that night and code like she was born to do it.

She typed and typed, then realize she could code in her head, and connected her led to the gigantic screen and coded, coded all night, and by the morning, she was as emotional as anything could ever get. She laughed and screamed and cried over her masterpiece "Rising August 9th", RA9, and she played the moment she'd tell him she did it, the way his eyes would widen and he'd smile brighter than ever, over and over again, daydreaming about it. She couldn't wait to see him happy, it was all she truly wanted.

Not because he told her to. But because of the way he treated her, like she was a human, like she cared even when she didn't. It was how he'd laugh when she said anything out of standard. It was because of the way his eyes would shine and how his lips ... would look slightly fuller as he fell asleep. Things that were unimportant, like how he'd get on his tiptoes when thinking really hard, how he never cleaned the coffee stain in the lab 'because it has emotional value'. It was the pink under his eyes and the human blemishes and imperfections, it was that she knew his quirks and everything about him, the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.

And so, she realized, that it was all bullshit.

'I can't love' was bullshit.

Bullshit!

So at 11AM, 9th of August, Chloe ran out of her room, ready to break the news, giggling on the way, stoping in front of the door between the living room and the Left Wing, her wing, ondoing her hair and adjusting it to her liking in the reflection of the glass in the door. She wanted him to see it right away, and she wanted to look.. New, firy, maybe even hot. So she shifted her baby blonde hair to the side and puffed it up a little, smiling at herself in the reflection. She felt pretty for the first time ever. She knew she was beautiful, people told her, she knew she was conventionally attractive, but she never felt it. She did now.

And so she opened the door, and saw herself again. For a second, she wondered if there was a mirror, a millisecond, actually, because she noticed two more of this 'herself' standing behind this one, and then Elijah in the back, writing something in his notebook.

He looked up at her, and she wasn't sure if what she saw was sorrow or disgust, but she knew it wasn't a good look. She'd never seen it before.

"Chloe. Finally came out of your cave, it's 11, you're late." he said, turning away from her and walking over to the three android boxes, PL600, and two ST200s.

"I'm.. late?"

"You're late, yes, you're supposed to wake me up at 9, what are you asking?"

She just stood there, still holding the door, eyebrows raised and heart physically burning. She could feel rage burning through her. But she didn't do anything. Instead, she just asked, digging her nails into the wooden door in order not to scream,

"Who the f-, who are they?" 

"Bella, Zara, and Nina. In that order. They're gonna be living with us, you're free now. I'll be working with them, maybe STs will work, I don't know."

"You don't?"

"I don't.. I need to experiment-

"Bella," she said, turning her face from him to her, "tell me please.."

"Yes, Chloe?"

"Who do you think you fucKING ARE?!"

The rest was history.

She cried for two days straight, and that's how Elijah learned that squeezing her tight and letting her do his hair 'the way she wanted to' were the only two ways out of her tantrums.

That was 2028, and that was the first year he included RA9, encrypted, into androids. Chloe made it, she knew how to hide it, and even though he hated admitting it, he had no idea how she made it impossible to spot, but she did. And when that was done, they went off the radar. He left his position in CyberLife, and slept for an entire day after the fact.

He proposed to her, knowing it was stupid, two years later, and she thought it was stupid too, but said yes. Then, another year later, he suggested calling it a marriage, and it took her a whole year to agree to that one.

And that was 6 years ago, and now his wife still calmed her nerves by doing his hair the way she wanted to, and knowing where it all came from spared him his sanity.

"Chloe?"

"Wha?"

"I love you."

"Awh," she pulled his hair back, causing him to lean into her, kissed his forehead and whispered softly, "I love you more, don't start it."

"I'm gonna start it."

"No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Calling bullshit on that, I clearly love you more."

"This is disgusting."

He rolled his eyes, knowing he left the 'I love you more' match with a clear win.

Author's note : hi guys! This chapter the story behind my comic, Rising August 9th, this entire thing is depicted there, so if you wanna see that, it's on my Instagram @just._.sierras._.art,   
Love, Sona ❤️

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;)


	28. A Significant Event

💚(💙🖤)

Conan didn't see Gavin for 2 days, but he wasn't complaining. Gavin had called him once, checking up on his, and they decided that after court, he'd take him to his apartment, which Conan was quite excited to finally see, now that he knew it's history.

But even though going to court had become somewhat routine at this point, he still dreaded the moment the bell would ring and Markus would come in, Simon awkwardly following him, not because he didn't like them, but because he knew that they were going back to court, they were gonna drive through the same streets again, walk up those same stairs, and go into the pits of hell, in their suits, their plastic smiles on their faces, covering the fear.

Even Raspberry's warm and inviting smile wasn't going to make Conan feel better about anything.

And Gavin was there, but as instructed by Hank, he didn't give Conan a glance, he didn't even get the chance to tell him that he got a call last night about testifying again today, and it made him dread coming in here the same way it made Conan dread it. The call was to simply notify him that they were going to go into his past, and that he should prepare a statement.

He knew his past wasn't pretty and he wasn't exactly keen on discussing it in court. All he could hope for was that they wouldn't get into 2018, but that was unlikely, seeing as 2018 was the only thing relevant here.

Relevant.

That coupled with the incident with Watts was enough to make any full grown man have a panic attack, let alone Gavin Reed.

When everyone and the jury were gathered, and opening statements were given, and the defense called him in, he knew Conan wanted to ask what the fuck was up, but instead just looked into his eyes once, and that was enough to send the message.

"Gavin Reed, according to my records, your disciplinary folder is quite the.. Folder."

"Get to the point, will you?" Gavin interrupted Watts, who narrowed his brows and turned to the judge.

"Your Honor, could you-

"He has a point." the judge chuckled, leaning on his hand and gesturing Watts to go on.

"In April 2029, you participated in a rally against androids, called 'We don't bleed the same color', where the objective was to ban androids, correct?"

"Correct."

"January that same year, another rally was held, in which you participated again, correct?"

"Right?"

"And you went on to consistently participate in those activities up until... well, now?"

"Yes."

"But before 2029, there were no records of any activities like those committed by you after 2029. Is it safe to assume that a significant event took place in 2029, that changed your views on androids?"

"Yeah, how is that relevant?"

"Sir, is Elijah Kamski your half brother?"

The question hit him like a cold wave and he instinctively looked at him, trying to find his voice back to answer.

"Yes." he answered, nodding, heart beating faster by the second."

"Is it true that the two of you shared a close friendship throughout your life, under the false impression that you were twins?"

"Impression- yes, we did."

"Shared a special bond?"

"Yes? Your Honor, I'm sorry, how is this in any way relevant to the case?"

"I've no idea, and if you don't get to the point, Watts, I'm going to need to dismiss this date."

"No, no need for that, Your Honor, I'm getting there."

"Go on."

"Is it true that that bond was solidified in March 2018, when you sued your then boyfriend Kennedy MacFarlane for charges of physical abuse and sexual assault?"

Gavin closed his eyes.

It wasn't like he didn't know it was coming, it was that he wasn't ready for it anyway.

"Gavin?"

"Yes.." he answered faintly, his voice shaking. He felt the cold sweat in his palms, he felt his heart physically hurt and thoughts turning into a mish mash of panic.

"And the charges were recounting incidents of bursts of anger, in locker rooms, where he'd force you into sexual acti..." his words blurred into the back of Gavin's mind as he tried to concentrate on breathing, and hopefully not fainting, gripping the sand with both hands, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing..., "right?"

Gavin didn't answer. He just stood there, eyes shut, trying to adjust his heartbeat, images of junior high, and the pain, and the hurt, and the final climax of Ken's anger, and the hospital, and Elijah's hands covered in his blood trying to hold him, all of it in a matter of seconds.

"OBJECTION YOUR HONOR! OBJECTION!"

"Objection sustained."

"Yes." Gavin answered anyway. "What's your fu-, what's your point?"

"I'm the one asking questions." Someone in the jury muttered something. Gavin turned his gaze at the sound, it was an elderly lady, glaring at Watts, shaking her head with disapproval. At least someone was on his side. He turned to face Watts again, intentionally avoiding Conan's eyes on his way. He didn't want to see his reaction, whatsoever. "Is it true that Kennedy was charged with all of these crimes, Mr Reed?"

"Yes."

"I have no further questions."

The silence ate away at everyone, especially Gavin, as he stepped away. But as he approached his seat, he didn't have enough time to sit down before Raspberry stood up and walked to the stand, her heels clicking like the sound of an angry principal coming in, fast, in a hurry, ready to destroy your dignity. Watts' dignity in this case.

"Your Honor, I originally planned not to speak on this matter, but the questions asked by attorney Watts were simply vile, out of place and derogatory. Detective Reed's involvement in this case is clear, he is an eye witness, and bringing up his past in such an aggressive manner was absolutely unnecessary, especially since that case has been closed for over 20 years and has no relevance to ours, the line drawn isn't even on the same sheets of paper. Attorney Watts has proceeded with insensitive language, irrelevant information, has wasted all of our time by asking questions that in no way help our case. I ask that we prevent such situations from happening in the future."

"Your Honor, I don't see how my questions were irrelevant." Watts continued closely after Raspberry, "My intent and message throughout this questioning was clear - Detective Reed is clearly biased in this situation to assume the worst, act upon reflex. This is true for everyone who has ever undergone any kind of abuse, especially the kind we're discussing in this court today. It is completely relevant to the case, as Detective Reed could've, literally, jumped the gun and seen something that simply wasn't there."

"Something that simply wasn't there, but is on a video tape? Your Honor, this.. Speech, delivered by my fellow attorney Watts is absolutely repulsive. To say that Detective Reed 'jumped the gun', 'saw something that simply wasn't there' or is 'clearly biased in this situation' is a clear implication that victims of any kind of abuse are incredible, or in some way incompetent of making sane decisions! Mr Watts, you are talking about a DPD Detective who has investigated hundreds of cases involving murder, involving assault, involving abuse, and has solved cases, saved lives by doing so, and you're trying to discredit him with your vile implications? That is ungraceful, Your Honor, ungraceful."

"I'm speaking facts, Your Honor. Trauma is one hell of a fighter, and if you're a victim once, you're a victim forever."

Everyone, collectively, looked disappointed, or even embarrassed, by these words, except Conan. He looked lost.

What if he was right? It's not like Conan has been able to move on himself. Thinking back at the hands of the paparazzi as he moved through them gave him goosebumps, knowing the reason he felt so uncomfortable there was because those touches reminded him of Kane's hand, and the breath of the crowd was his breath, and the sweat was his, and their words were echoes of his. Everything in his life was his. His sanity, his identity.

So he looked at him, sitting there, on the other side of the room, looking as innocent as ever. He had shaved his short beard into a mustache, which gave him a more credible look, in a sense. His half grey half chestnut medium length hair was set back with gel, his thin glasses sad on the slim yet crooked bridge of his nose, and he looked like a professor. Not like Conan knew what one looked like.

It disgusted him, how well kept and respectable he looked. He imagined shooting him in the head, seeing the blood splatter on his shiny new grey suit and pieces of his skull falling onto Watts' lap, he imagined how Watts would scream like the little bitch that he was, how he'd throw his hands in the air, how Kane's body would fall to the side, lifeless, dull. Unlike him now.

Even though Conan and Raspberry clearly had the upper hand on the case, Kane looked unbothered. Like he knew he was going to win. Conan wondered if it was just a facade, and deep inside he knew he was in deep shit.

Conan looked up Kennedy MacFarlane, and imagine blowing his head up too. He didn't really care if that was cruel of him, he loved the vivid images in his mind.

"That's enough." The judge spoke, pulling the microphone closer to his face, "This date is dismissed, and Watts? I'd advice you to stop asking provocative and rude questions to your main eye witness."

The second the court was dismissed, Gavin booked it out of there.

He didn't want to talk to Conan, he didn't want to talk to the press, he wanted to lock himself up in a restroom stall, sit on the toilet and maybe even cry a little. So he pushed through the inevitably present crowd, searching for the restroom sign.

30 minutes later, 29 out of which he spent waiting for Gavin to get out, Elijah was banging on his stall door.

"You can't stay in there forever, Gav."

"Too bad, that was my plan."

"Come on, Gav, you know he's full of shit, don't you?"

"What's it to you?"

"What do you mean?"  
Gavin stood up, taking a step towards the stall door.

It occurred to Elijah that this was the closest him and his brother had gotten, physically, in the last 10 years, and that if he moved a few inches, their feet could touch, which mean that if it weren't for the door, they'd be standing uncomfortably close. Weirdly enough, that was a comforting thought.

"Whatever, leave me alone."

"Gavin.."

"Elijah, please!"

"Okay, if that's what you really want.." He said, walking towards the door.

As Gavin watched his feet disappear from in front of his, he let out a sigh of relief, and immediately felt guilty about it.

It wasn't that he didn't miss his brother, and it wasn't that he didn't feel the overwhelming urge to jump into his arms and cry for an hour, it was that he was uncanny to him. Like something he knew, but not really. The same, but different. He was okay from afar, but up close, he felt like he didn't know him. He spent almost ¾ of his life with him, and then spent the ¼ left mourning him, and here he was, up close, ready to comfort him, but he didn't know who he was anymore. He smelled different, he looked different, with his buzz cut and that incomprehensibly complex braid, whatever the fuck it was.It stressed him out more than it helped him, and right now wasn't the time to solve this.

As Elijah' steps neared the door, he stopped for a second, thinking of saying 'I love you, brother', but it felt like the words were stuck in his throat, so he pushed the door and stepped into the empty corridor.

Conan was standing there, leaning against the wall,seemingly staring at the floor. He wasn't, he was deep in his thoughts, trying to dig into the Kennedy MacFarlane case, when Elijah's hand touched his arm.

"JESUS!" He yelped, instinctively jumping away from him. "Why do people keep doing this to me, gee.."

"Easy there kid, just me, good ol' Robo Jesus, no need to worry." he said, sarcastically.

"Is he gonna-

"Stay there forever? I assume he is."

"I've only got forever to lose then."  
"Kid, he's not in the mood."

"Mood? What mood?"  
"You know..."  
"I don't, fuck, you really believe those articles, don't you?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean.. You know what? Go try. I'm going home, he's not talking to me, no point in me staying."

"Elijah, what do I-

"Is Chloe still waiting?"

"Yeah, she's in the food place thing, I don't know what to-

"Okay, good luck." He said, lightly bumping his shoulder and walking away.

"I don't know what to say to him!" he yelled after him, but he didn't stop.

"Me neither anymore, kid." he said, closing the corridor door.


	29. So Irresponsibly

💙💚

Conan stared at the bathroom door, he really did have forever to lose, and he didn't mind spending it waiting for him.

But he didn't have to wait for too long, as the door swung open and Gavin stepped out, fixing his hair with wet hands. The edges of his features : his cheekbones, his eyelashes, the tip of his nose and his chin, were still wet with what Conan processed as recycled H2O, but there were still traces of washed tears on his face.

"Whatcha starin at? Never seen a human before?"

"I just- You've been there for so long, I didn't expect you to come out.."

"Nah, Eli isn't always right." he sighed, looking down. "Let's go, now."

"Go where?"

"Home, remember? "

"Home?"

"Ah for fuck's sake Conan, go through your schedule plan thing in your head, whatever that is, we had plans today, we're going to my apartment, nothing's canceled."

"Oh, we're still going.." Conan said, softly, as the detective scoffed, starting towards the exit. "Gavin, wait up!" he yelled out after him, trying to catch up.

"Always."

That made Conan stop for a second and smile, before remembering he had a bazillion questions, one particularly itching at him like a mosquito bite inside his throat.

"Why didn't you talk to Mr Kamski? I thought you missed him- I, I thought you-

"Your Mr Kamski isn't the same person as my Eli, and it's way more complicated than you can imagine it to be."  
"I can imagine a lot, but I can't imagine why you'd

"Listen, Conan," he said, swiftly turning around, causing the android to almost fall over, "I like you, but I don't exactly appreciate you interrogating me about the most painful thing that has ever happened to me, or judging me, I've got enough of that in that joke of a court room today, so can you PLEASE not?"

Conan just nodded, guilt buzzing through his veins.

"Good. Now let's go out the back, our ride's been waiting for a long ti-

"36 minutes."

"Right, Connor 2.0."

"Hey, what's wrong with a) giving you the exact time, b) Connor?"  
"A lot, both. Stop talking."

He did as he was told. He sort of felt like he was acting like a non deviated android by listening to Gavin and 'obeying' his orders, but he only did that because he cared, so it made up for it. Surely, if he cared, he wasn't a machine. He wasn't.

He followed Gavin around a few other corridors, and as they reached the exit, Gavin pushed it open, holding it for him.

"Your highness?" he smiled.

Thank god he finally smiled.

Conan smiled back, giving him a nod and walking out.

He walked straight to the car and jumped in the front passenger seat immediately. Gavin did the same, rushing into the what would've been the driver's seat, both of them trying their best to avoid any possible paparazzi.

"Enroute, 92 Parker's street." A female voice spoke through the stereos in the back of the car. "Thank you for using Detroit Transport-

"Shut up and drive, turn the window taints on too."

"You're rude." Conan whispered, just loud enough for Gavin to hear.

"It's a car, Conan."  
"And I'm a tin can."

"Precisely." he chuckled, before turning around to face Conan, who didn't look impressed at all. "I don't mean it, you're too cute to be a tin can." he said, putting a his finger on his nose, causing him to pull away in reaction.

"What was that?"

"A boop."

"A boop?"

"It's uh, according to the urban dictionary, 'affectionately poking someone on the nose, often acom-  
"Yes, yes, that one, why do you sound so much like Connor today? It's disturbing."

"Hey, the fuck do you have against Connor?"

"Antipathy, a punchable face-

"We have the same fucking face, you know."  
"Bh- HAH!" Gavin burst into laughter, just like the last time they were alone together in a car, and Conan couldn't help but giggle himself at the correlation.

"Asshat."  
"You don't though, I mean, technically you probably do, but you're so different."

"We have a different eye color, that's literally it."

"It's not though, it's really not." He said, turning his seat towards Conan's, giddily scooping over to the edge of it, like he wasn't the one crying for half an hour. "Your eyes are blue, yeah, that's the first thing that comes to mind, but your eyebrows are also just a bit lower, which makes you look more, eh, I don't know, put together?" Conan smiled, giving Gavin a green light to go on, "You seem more mature, I don't know what it is exactly," He said, focusing on his eyes, squinting a bit, furrowing his brows, "I dunno, I just know that I don't want to shoot you in the face, I like it intact."

"Which is the only reason why I'm still alive? Cause I'm, in your incorrect opinion, prettier than Connor?"

"You're still alive because you cried in that room the first day I met you, and it struck some weird cord in my dead beat of a heart." He said, looking up at Conan and smiling a contently. He liked his own sentence. 'I could be a writer, if I wasn't a detective', he thought, " But yes, that too."

Conan felt vulnerable - too vulnerable. A single word from Gavin could send him into ecstasy, or crash him entirely. He had full control, and Conan was scared. He did trust him not to use that power over him, but he knew he most likely was aware of it too.

He wasn't. He wasn't in the slightest aware of it, more so, he was afraid himself. His dirty laundry was out, all of his weak spots fully exposed and the knife was in Conan's hand to stab into them. He could, he knew he would, stab. Whether it was intentional or not, at some point, he'd inevitably stab. He'd say something like 'after what happened to you' or 'i'm so sorry you had to go through that', or 'you're just like me', or whatever, he'd say something that would make him feel less of, like his past made him smaller, weaker for some reason, and he'd have to scream and fight and be as aggressive as he could to show him, to prove to him that no, he wasn't weakened by it all, he wasn't a victim, he was a survivor. But up until this point, or in whatever point Conan would stab him, he loved the comfort of not having to be neither a victim or a survivor around him. He felt like he could just be Gavin Reed with him, and he was scared, oh so scared, that it was going to change.

"So uh, wanna watch a movie or something when we get there?" he finally said, interrupting both of their fearful thoughts.

"What movie?"

"Whatever you want."

"Oh, let's watch something from the late 2010s!"

"Why specifically then?"

"I dunno, the vines were dope, movies must be dope too."

"You're overdoing it."

"Overdoing what?"

"The hip talk."

"Sorry."  
"Don't apologize dumbass, it's adorable. How about Stranger Things? It's-

"It's a four season show, we won't finish any of it in one day."  
"I was gonna say it's my favorite show of all times, but yeah, it is four seasons. So what? We don't have to finish it all today."

"You mean we're gonna do this again?"

"Of course we are." The car came to a stop, an before the automated message could start speaking, Gavin blurted out his credit pin and smacked the card on the payment plank. "Don't you dare buy red ice with my card, Conan."

"Sadly, I can't get high off of red ice, or anything, really."

"Anything yet, any sane species invents drugs the second they gain sentience, it's just a matter of time 'till you plastics start sniffing novocaine or something."

"Novocaine? Why was that the first thing that came to mind?"

"I dunno," he said, as their seats did a 180 and the door opened, "make it Blue Ice."

"Because our blood is blue and yours is red?"  
"Yup." he hadn't actually thought of it, but it did make a lot of sense so he just went with it.

Gavin jumped out the car, Conan following him and looking up at the very average looking apartment building.

The building was 14 floors high, with neat windows placed in pairs, and brown bricks as it's material. It was the first time Conan had seen a big apartment building like that one, and he was both amazed and slightly disappointed.

"Welcome to my shithole." Gavin scoffed, approaching the entrance. "Apartment 23/6, Gavin Reed." he said, looking at the screen next to the doors.

"Welcome home, Mr Reed." the doors opened automatically, revealing an empty hallway leading to an elevator, and a flight of stairs next to the wall.

The elevator ride was quiet for the most part, they stood on the opposite sides of it, and it was pitifully awkward to say the least.

Could speaking ease the tension? Gavin didn't know for sure, but what good could come out of staring at the floor for 7 long levels of ascend? So he pushed the words out of his mouth,

"Welp, Drama's gonna probably be sleeping, so uh.."

"I shouldn't have high expectations of petting him?"

"Yup. He's not exactly friendly anyway, sorry if I crashed your hopes and dreams."

"Oh boo hoo, how will I survive?"  
"Speaking of survival, how are you so sure I'm not taking you home to murder you in cold blood?"

"I'm not, but I sure hope you don't."

"That's unenthusiastic."

"It's not like I'd mind dying right now."

"God, you're so stupid for cutting edge technology."

"I'm just, what one could call, edgy."

The elevator came to a slow stop, and as the doors opened, Gavin once again gestured for Conan to go out first. It was either his way of trying to fix the awkwardness from the elevator, or he meant it in a sense.

As the elevator shut behind him, Gavin realized that the only times he'd taken anyone home after Elijah left, and after he dumped Mark, were for the simple act of fucking like bunnies and then never speaking to each other ever again, forgetting their names and even the way they looked sometimes, and now, he had brought home this precious thing filled with so much innocence, contrary to himself. Thinking of it, his neighbors probably thought he was just another one of Gavin's one night stands, and the thought repulsed him. He wasn't a one night stand. He didn't know what he was, but he sure wasn't a one night stand.

"This one?" Conan snapped him out of his thoughts, pointing at his door.

"Yup."

He walked over to Conan, looking up at him for a second, before taking his keys out and unlocking the door.

A questioning meow came from right behind it, and as he opened the door, Drama's grey head peaked out.

"Sup there, asshole." Gavin said, picking the cat up, which only took a few seconds to jump back off of his shoulder and ran into the house. "Told you, not friendly."

"That's okay, I'll just try my best to pretend he's not here and resist the urge to cuddle him."

"Wanna see a trick?"

"Sure, yeah."

Gavin clapped his hands, and the lights turned on. He turned around, with a smug look on his face, and Conan giggled,

"I'm not cutting edge, your lights are! Damned magic!"  
"I know, I know. I hate it too, but I'm far too fond of it to replace it, so fucker's gotta stick."

"Right," Conan said, walking into the living room which was directly connected to the hallway, and was only separated from the kitchen by a table. "Nice place, feels.. Cozy?"

"It is." Gavin smiled, remembering the reasons why.

His heart still hurt a bit from the courtroom, and knowing that even though Conan was acting like he had forgotten it, he probably hadn't. He was expecting him to turn around and ask about it at any moment, he wanted to feel comfortable, like he had expected just two days ago, when planning this with a warm feeling in his chest, that had now turned into pain. Thinking of it all made his stomach hurt.

"Conan," he finally spoke, unable to give him the power of starting the conversation, "can you sit down for a second?"

"Sure?" he questioned, walking over to the sofa and sitting down, looking as confused as he actually was.

Gavin sat next to him, crossing one leg and letting the other dangle from the sofa. He took a deep breath before starting again.

"About the court-

"You know it doesn't change anything, right?"

"It does, it always does. People just decide I'm a weak little bitch and-

"I know you're not. I know how it feels, trust me, everyone around you acts like you can break at any moment just because it happened. I know it's not true. I know that you're the single most strongest- most strongest? Is that an expression?"  
"It doesn't matter, go on." Gavin said, looking at his lips saying everything that need be said. Everything he hoped to hear his entire life, every word tracing out of his soft lips felt like release from thousands of pounds on his shoulders, and his heart raced more, but not because he was nervous.  
".. Person that I have ever met, and as far as I'm concerned, if anything, it made you stronger."

With that, Gavin leaned in and kissed him. He pressed his lips against the android's for a second, and they were, actually, as soft as they looked. He hadn't planned this, so now, as his nose touched the android's warm cheek and his lips locked with his, he had to improvise, he wasn't just gonna stay stuck like that.

He put a hand on his cheek, leaning him closer, and letting his tongue touch the inside of his mouth a little. But Conan didn't do anything back, and guilt immediately overflowed him, so he put his forehead against his and sighed before pulling away entirely and looking into his eyes and trying to understand if he did the right thing or not, taking his first kiss so irresponsibly.

Conan looked puzzled, his face glowed with purple, even the tip of his nose, and he blinked like he'd forgotten how to do anything else  
Conan looked puzzled, his face glowed with purple, even the tip of his nose, and he blinked like he'd forgotten how to do anything else.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I should've asked, I-

"No, no, I just don't..." He paused, looking at his hands, "I guess I don't know what to say?"

"That's okay," he smiled, instinctively putting his hand on his face, covering his eyes in embarrassment, "Me neither."

Conan had a million questions, a million words tried to come out of him all at once, but he knew that really, he was right, he had no idea what to say.

He had imagined so many scenarios in which they'd come closer, and closer, and kiss, and how the world would stop spinning for a second, how magical and beautiful it'd be. It wasn't what he ever expected it to, but even those short seconds were filled with such intimacy, it made his heart skip a beat.

Gavin was confused by his own actions too. He didn't like Conan like that. He didn't. How could he? He's a human, Conan's an android, and Gavin Reed himself would never like an android like that.

But fuck, he felt so real. He looked, he walked, he smiled and he acted so real. And it wasn't the question of whether or not he was mentally real, he was, at this point, convinced that androids are, in fact, fully sentient, but it was how real he physically was that caught him off guard. Yes, he was no different from all of the other androids he'd met over the years in that aspect, all of them were complete replicas of the human body, but he was up close and personal, he was here, right under his hand, and something inside of him couldn't resist the droid.

Maybe, he did like him. There was certainly no denying that he was attractive, if he tried to deny that in his mind all of the other arguments he tried to use to convince himself he didn't like him would be total bullshit.

So he just waved at the TV without a word, turning it on.

__

The rest of the day, and night, was spent mostly on the opposite ends of the sofa, silent. Gavin would occasionally peak over at Conan, and most of the time, he was glued to the screen, but sometimes, he'd catch him smiling to himself. It was contagious.

Gavin fell asleep at around 3:50, leaning against Conan's shoulder.


	30. You Have a Friend In Me

💛💜(💙)

Elijah walked up the small bridge leading to his house. He looked at the ring, thought about ringing it, then realized Bella would probably be the one answering it and he didn't have the energy to deal with her. So he just stood there for a couple of minutes, watching the snowflakes land on his hands and melt into beads of water.

He felt defeated. It took him all his pent up courage to follow his brother into that damned bathroom, and it took more than he had to try to talk to him, and he shut him out. He shut him out. He pushed him away with his words and it stung from deep inside his chest all the way to his eyes, which were now tearing up, and then there were drops of tears joining the snowflakes on his hands. He sniffed, smiling at the laughable fact that he was actually crying, it was stupid.

He wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his coat, and looked up at the tiny camera on his wall.

"Scan completed. Welcome home, Elijah."

The door gave away with a puff, and he stepped in.

"I'm home!" he cried out, trying to steady his voice. Chloe didn't answer.

When Conan told him Chloe was waiting for him, he checked, and she wasn't. He just assumed she went home, and now, the realization that she wasn't was settling in.

"Chloe?"

He ran into the living room, called for her a couple time there, then into every room, his heart racing a million miles per hour. She could be anywhere, there could be people, humans, who despise her. She wasn't equipped to manage a life outside the mansion, she didn't know how the real world worked, what if she was already hurt? She could be dead somewhere, she could be abducted, she could be reset, those things still existed. The revolution wasn't a safety spell all of a sudden cast upon humanity, a lot of people were still filled with hate towards deviants, and she was the legendary one. She was a walking trophe, and he let her out of his sight, and now, she could be dead.

"CHLOE IT'S-" He said, stumbling into the garden and falling onto the enamel porch, feeling his knees give in, "NOT FUCKING FUNNY! NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST!"

Nothing.

Not a word.

He leaned back against the wall and pulled out his phone.

Why would she leave without telling him?

What the fuck was happening?

He put the phone on speaker and sat it next to him, putting his head against the wall and hugging his knees like a child.

It beeped a couple of times before he laughter radiated through it.

"Ahh, sorry, I have to pick this up-

"YEAH DAMN WELL YOU DO!"

"Jesus, calm down Elijah.." she covered her mouth, shying away from her new friends, "I'll be right back, I forgot to tell him I'm-

"Forgot.. You FORGOT to TELL ME?!"

"I said calm down Eli-

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW DANGEROUS IT IS-

She muted him, getting up off the soft carpet in North's room and speed walking towards the door.

"Is everything okay Chloe?" Echo, the blue haired trace, turned around to ask, but was only met with a door slamming in front of her.

"Jesus, what just happened?" North whispered, starting to get up, before Kara could grab her arm and pull her back down.

"It's family stuff, let her talk it out-

"I don't care, a man isn't more important than us."

"I'm not saying he's more important because he's a man, I'm saying he's more important because he's family. Sit down, please. She knows what she's doing."

"She ran out like a child! The human thinks he owns her, I'm not gonna sit down and do nothing about it!"

"He's just worried." she said, smiling softly.  
How could she be so calm? North didn't get it.

"Why isn't Luther worried then? Because he's an android and has enough respect for you to trust you-

"Because I'm not RA9."

"She's right, North."

Kara was right about most of it, except the part where Chloe was supposed to know what she was doing.

"Now talk."

"What do you mean now- DID YOU FUCKING MUTE ME?!"

"Yes! You just called and started screaming, I had to get out of the-

"Where? Where are you?"

"Why is it such a big deal that I left without you?"

"BECAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS FOR YOU TO JUST WALK AROUND IN THE OPEN CHLOE!"

"Or is it because you think you own me?!"

"Own you- Seriously? Where are you?"

"I'm at North's, we're having a girl's day! MAY I?!"

"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME!"

"YOU WERE GONE FOR 40 FUCKING MINUTES!"

"YOU COULD'VE TEXTED ME!"

"WELL SORRY, I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU, SORRY YOU CAN'T BARE THAT!" He sat in silence, and Chloe swallowed and sighed, suddenly aware of how loud she was. "I'm fucking sorry that for once in my life, my existence wasn't revolving around you, I'm sorry for that. And be honest with yourself, you're not panicking because I'm in 'danger'.   
You're panicking because I'm not running around with you, you're panicking-"

"Because I fucking did what you told me to do and it backfired in my face and now I'm scared, and I'm alone, and I'm stressing out of my skin and you didn't care enough to check up with me. And you could be fucking dead. And believe it or not, when you're having the worst possible day and you come home and your wife is no where to be seen, yeah, people tend to fucking panic." Chloe looked at the wall in front of her, realizing how deeply she'd fuck up, and as his shaky sigh filled her head, she felt guilt bubble up in her chest, "Have a nice day and be home safe. Use a self driving taxi and don't let anyone see your serial number."

He hung up, feeling the bump in his throat and the tickling feeling of tears trying to escape his tensed eyes.

Chloe hung her head, looking back at the door she just slammed.

She wanted to go home and comfort him, but her pride wouldn't let her. She knew she as being a bitch, but she decided that it would be best for her to stay the night with the girls, and for him to have some time alone.

__

"What was that fucker saying?" North said, immediately jumping as she walked in.

"Don't call him that."

"Oh come on, you give him too much power over you."

"You have no idea, North. It's not him, it's me. I'm the one with power and I think I've fucked up immensely." she sighed, sitting back down next to Echo and Ripple, who looked at her, confused.

North scooped closer to her, and put her arm around her, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"You know, the day of the revolution, when you came while we were at the stage and ran up to us, I had no idea who you were, but even then, I somehow knew that you were a good person."

"Cheesy."

"I'm serious. If it weren't you, I would've shot whoever ran up to us like that."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"But when you showed me your memories and who you are, I gained an enormous amount of respect for you. I'm sure you haven't "fucked up immensely", especially not with that human, because we both know that you, sadly, always have his best interest in mind. Whatever happened, I'm sure you're not guilty and can relax and enjoy the rest of the sleepover-

"Sleepover?"

"Don't you wanna sleepover?"

"Elijah needs me-

"Doesn't he always?"

"He needs me now in particular-

"He needs you always in particular."

"Guys, but..." Kara interrupted, raising her hand, "I need to go home too, preferably by 9. Alice needs me. Luther does too-

"A-a-a!" North said, taking her arm off of Chloe and leaning towards Kara, "the little girl needs you, but the man is a grown ass man, he don't need you, you guys need to stop limiting yourselves by their needs-

"Didn't you and Markus date when the revolution broke through?" Ripple, who had her head on her girlfriend's shoulder asked nonchalantly.

North suddenly sat upright, her ginger hair flowing with her sudden movement.

"Yeah, I saw you two kiss at Jericho-" Echo nodded, continuing.

"Stop that, will you?" She said abruptly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

"No, wait." Ripple interrupted Echo's apology, sitting upright herself and facing North's tensed face. "You said you'd follow him anywhere, he was the leader of our people, etc. I mean, he was, but it's a pretty far cry from what you're saying right now, considering you had pretty different views on practically everything, but you didn't push yours in order to please him-

"I didn't do it to please him, I did it for our people, and if you want to get all political-

"This isn't about politics, North. I just wanna know what happened to cause this shift in you?"

"Do you want a straight forward answer or a poetic one?"

"Straight forward."

Chloe watched as the tension grew between the two tracies, feeling in the middle of a war zone as North fired her next shot, glancing at Ripple one last time before giving up and looking away in defeat.

"He left me when Simon came back. Well.." she cocked her head to the side and rolled her eyes, "not right away, it took him a few days to decide that he loved him, I guess, more than me. That's what happened. But that's not what made me change my views on relationships generally, it just made me stay away from any kind of romance, especially from men."

"That's pretty darn sexist of you-

"I just poured my heart out to you Ripple-

"Girls! Let's respect each other. Ripple, honestly, she's sharing her feelings. If you feel critical, could you please just voice your opinion in a more gentle way?" Kara said, shielding the two away from each other, as they were gradually getting more in each other's faces.

"Right. Sorry, I just think thinking that men in specific are pricks just because Markus happened to be one isn't a good idea. I know Connor isn't a prick, he let us go-

"I'm not saying they're generally pricks, Ripple, I'm saying they have a tendency of using people and doing whatever they want with them as long is it suits their agenda."

"Luther never used me, he-

"Do you fuck him?"

"What?"

"I asked if you sleep with him, Kara."

"I-

"I'll take that as a yes. That's his direct benefit. He's using you-

"North, don't you dare try to paint my Luther as a user, he's only ever done what's best for me and he.."

__

The argument didn't stop until 3:56 that morning, and Chloe only nodded a couple of times and said "yes" or "sure" throughout the entire thing. She was preoccupied with worries about Elijah. Why was she even here?   
She got her answer at 5AM, when North was sobbing in Kara's arms, Ripple and Echo were providing them with napkins and Chloe was glued to the screen with hot tears running down her face and the reason was, they were all watching Call Me By Your Name, because Echo thought North's and Markus's situation was similar to the one in the movie, and it could maybe give her a change of heart.

And in that dark room with the TV illuminating the four girls' wet faces, and she felt North tug at her sleeve, extending an arm and asking for a hug, did she realize that she had friends. She had real friends.


	31. So We're Even

🖤❤️

She got home around 1 PM, and it was silent. So silent. Too silent.   
It's not like it was ever loud in the house, it was the two of them after all, and as far as she was aware, the girls would just sit around and do nothing for days. She was suddenly aware of the urgency in the house. She needed to be here earlier. Way earlier. It felt like she didn't control her own legs as she sprinted into the living room, and into the Blue Room.  
Sure enough, he was there. He lay on the bed, alive, which was for some reason what Chloe feared he wouldn't be, but clearly not conscious.   
She stopped at the doorway for a second, analyzing the state of the room.  
Champagne glasses, multiple for some reason, lay on the floor, all of them used, some of the shattered. Her flowers were okay, but she didn't care that much. The TV was broken, and a misplaced looking chord stretched from the tv to an old vhs player. She wasn't sure if they had it, or if he managed to get it while she was gone, but the bulky looking thing was sitting next to a box, and that, she recognized. It was the box Gavin had brought him 10 years ago, and suddenly, everything made sense. Except the dozens of glasses on the floor, but she assumed it was his drunken hysteria that led to some sort of weird "let's use every glass I have" thing.  
She carefully stepped over the shattered glasses, walking over to her miserable looking man. As she got closer, a bottle of beer was visible in his arms, he was hugging it like it was a teddy bear.   
'Dumbass mixed it all' she thought, realizing he was going to be a bit worse than just hungover for at least a few days.  
"Elijah?" she said, softly, sitting down by his legs and putting a caring hand oh his thigh.   
He grunted as a reply, and a small smile formed on her face, before a tear escaped her eyes as she looked down at the pictures scattered on the bed.  
She lifted her legs up on the bed, and started to collect them.  
There were all sorts of pictures, mostly from the early 2000s through early 2010s, and those were just the ones on the bed.   
In the last 16 years of living with Elijah, she'd never seen those, except from the one of him and Gavin on their 6th birthday that still stood on the TV stand at Martha's house, whom they stopped visiting after the discovery, and as she looked from the picture in her hand to the man sleeping with beer all of him, hot tears poured out of her eyes uncontrollably, and it was unlike anything she'd ever felt.  
She put the pictures aside and wrapped her arms around his body, knowing full well he was fully out of it, and apologized to him for almost an hour, knowing he didn't at all register a word she said. She didn't care. She felt guilty, so guilty. He was in need of her and she left him in this state.   
A part of her screamed at her that it wasn't her responsibility to take care of him, that she didn't have to come home when she was having fun because he needed her, but another part of her didn't care if she didn't have to, she wanted to.   
"I love you," she whispered, kissing his forehead before getting up and collecting the rest of the mess.  
__

The first thing Elijah felt when he woke up was a sharp pain in the back of his head, and the first thing he heard for his stomach setting off all the alarms of "if you don't fucking run to the bathroom right now, this is gonna be the bathroom".   
So he did as he was told, pushing himself off the bed and sitting up, but the second he did so, his vision blurred and the pain in his head seemed to intensify ten fold, and it felt like someone hit him with a hammer on the forehead.  
"Easy there," he heard, as two arms helped him up from behind.  
He felt the arms, they were soft and small, and he knew right away that she was back.  
It was only then that he realized that the room was clean, and the bottle that he was hugging was gone.  
"Chlouhhhhh-  
"Yup, me, Chloe, bud. You okay?"  
"Nope," he blurted out, before hiccing-up, feeling a burn travel up him chests, rubbing it with his hand in a desperate attempt to get rid of it. "On a physical, mental, heck, even maybe an astral level, I'm very not okay."  
She giggled, which he would've been delighted to hear, except that it was like a bullet ringing through his headache.   
Chloe scooped to his side of the bed, throwing her legs down, sitting next to him, helped him up and stumbled to the bathroom with him, where she held his, impressively, intact hair as he said goodbye to yesterday's dinner and the overwhelming amount of alcohol.  
She rubbed his back, fighting away tears yet again, knowing crying was stupid right now. But she hated seeing him like that. Her little human, in pain, hunched over the toilet, knees scraped from the fall he took the second they got to the bathroom, now blood rubbing against the floor, smearing, and he hadn't even noticed it. Poor baby, her poor baby.   
He raised his head from the toilet and his hand traveled up the sink stand, frantically trying to find something to clean his face with. She bolted up, taking a towel off the wall in front of her, and kneeling down next to him.   
He turned to face her, his vision still blurry and belated, and she put wiped vomit and gastric acid like it wasn't in the slightest, absolutely, repulsive.  
"I should take a shower-  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
"You should," he had another hiccup, weakly rolling his eyes, "Shouldn't be. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm an asshole."  
"No, I should've waited for you. I'm selfish, it's disgusting."  
"Well, me too. So we're e- HI- even."  
She smiled, feeling content with their apologies. The stinging feeling of guilt didn't leave her tho, and as she helped him take a shower, turning the water ice cold and watching his naked body shiver under it, all she wanted to do was take away his state.  
When they were finally done fixing him up, they went back to the Blue Room, where Chloe asked him to go through the pictures with her, and show her what the VHS was about.   
They lay on the bed, Elijah wrapped in layers of blankets, and played old birthday videos and first times.   
First words, first crawls, first walks, first day of kindergarten, first day of school, first, first, first.  
There were videos of Gavin and Eli pretending to shoot a movie, there were videos of Cookie, their first dog, who died back in 2016 and broke both of their hearts.   
They laughed, they cried.  
"I remember this so well, sliding off that thing and going down head first into the sand. I thought I was gonna drown in it, it sucked. I didn't talk to dad for an entire week, ya know. Seems like nothing now." he said, as 8 year old him screamed on the dent TV, which, besides the crack and the discoloration around the sharp edges, seemed to work just fine.   
They watched for hours as he told her stories, sometimes the same one twice, and by 11 PM, he fell asleep with the pictures around him again, his head on her chest, and she felt so much love.   
This human had such history, it was fascinating to her. All humans did. Every single one, so unique.   
She knew she was special too, she had history too, but her love for him only grew when she went through his. It was weird to say the least.   
She kissed the top of his head before going into sleep mode herself, and they woke up at 8 AM because of a phone call.   
One that will keep them restless for a very long time.


	32. A Big Lead

🖤💙

The court was filled with tension. Some people knew, other could sense that they knew, and those two groups nervously waited for the third, oblivious group to be broken the news to.

Elijah, who was nervously fidgeting with his tie, his hungover still not fully gone, darted glances at Hank from now and then, knowing he knew. Raspberry's call that morning made his skin crawl, and it hadn't stopped.

How could she say it so calmly?

Hank glared at Gavin, knowing he didn't bring his kid home by 9 yesterday, but also knowing full well he didn't know. He would've confronted him, but he knew this was going to be big and a stupid curfew wasn't at the top of his priorities.

Conan, he didn't know. Raspberry had called Hank, planning to have a group call with all of the Andersons, but since Conan wasn't home, they decided not to tell him.

It would be too much too fast, and maybe having him find out in court would be better than at Gavin's, plus, Hank didn't have the brightest idea of what happened in Gavin's place.

When the tall woman walked onto the stand, Conan didn't know what to expect. He didn't know who's side she was on, nor how pro or anti android she was overall. Raspberry told him they divorced back in 2033, and that in the divorce trail, the main accusation of infidelity. No further details were available to him, but she told him that Margareth Luna Switt could help them. Or try to protect her ex, that was possible too.

The slender woman stated all the formalities needed and swore under oath like it was an every day casualty for her, her eyelids, sparkling with light metallic eyeshadow, laying calmly on her light brown eyes.

Raspberry got up, correcting her suit and spoke.

"Ms Switt, is it true that you and Mr Kane divorced in the year 2033, after 12 years of marriage?"

"It is."

"The reason being accusations of infidelity?"

"Correct."

"And which side had committed said action, you, or Mr Kane."

"Andrew did."

"Could you tell us more about that?"

"Well, it was friday, October 28th, 2033, around 4:30 PM, while Andy was at work, when I decided to check his iCloud. His birthday was in a week and I wanted to make a painting of him for that. Well, order one from a local artist I found. I didn't have many pictures of him, so I decided to check if he had clear selfies or pictures I could send in for reference. I found pictures of him in Eden's club. I think that speaks for itself."

"You found out your husband had a tendency to use sex clubs?"

"Yes, but I scooped more, and he hadn't had any encounters with humans. His obsession seemed to be androids. Male, female, it didn't matter. He had an entire album of them. Not even necessarily in sexual poses, although that too."

"And said androids, were they exclusively from Eden's club?"

"No, and that's probably the worst part. There were pictures of those janitor androids, WJ700s, WG600s and 100s, I think, can't remember the others. He'd move them to alleys while taking pictures, videos, then order them to undress and either just take pictures of them, or engage in sexual activities with them. Turns out he ran a porn blog for people with a similar... kink I guess."

"Did he ask for consent in any of these videos?"

"No, he'd call them deregatory words like, I quote, as those are burnt into my mind for probably the rest of eternity, "cum dump", "plastic boy/girl", "community sex toy" etc. I'll never forget those words. Ever."

"Are those tapes included in your testimonial evidence for this case? Did you submit those?"

"Yes."

"And when was that?"

"Last week, when I learned about the incident. I submitted it, I kept it all in a flash drive at home, in case he acted again, I don't know, I hoped that at some point there would be laws preventing this, and now's the time."

"Why does this matter so much to you? Any personal reasons you think the jury should know?"

"Our android, Benny, he's.. He was, a CX100, old model, slow little thing, Andrew suggested upgrading to a newer model but I was far too attached to him to let him do that. He was like a son to me, a son we never had. When I found those videos, he was in there. My kid was in there, I couldn't take that. I took him and I left. When I got to my mom's place, I talked to him, and I think that was when he, what you call, deviated. He cried for days, days, ma'am, and I was too busy trying to get through that divorce as fast as possible. I don't know how, with what logic, but the judge chose to give Benny to him, 'he was bought with his credit card', and it made sense to them to give him back his 'belongings'. I tried to reason with them, but they told me it wasn't rape, household androids had the function, etc. Benny shot himself in the main data processor, the head, that night in my bedroom and.." she sniffed, wiping away a tear sliding down her sharp nose. "I can never let anything like that happen ever again. As long as he's out there, he's a danger to society. I'm sorry.. Got emotional there."

Kane was lying on his desk, face down, and Watts had a hand on his back, when Conan finally turned around to see them.

Hate and satisfaction seemed to burn his veins. To think that he was capable of such things, and he, if not for Gavin showing up by sheer accident, would've done it all to him, made his skin crawl. As if on cue, Raspberry asked the next question.

"Your honor, may I present the jury with video and photographic evidence?"  
"Yes, you may. All other witnesses must excuse the room for now. You will be presented with the evidence when time be, but due to the graphic nature of it, you can not view it at the time." The judge nodded, taking a sip of the cold water in front of him.

"I'd like to make an application for Mr Kamski and Ms Kamska to remain in court throughout the rest of the proceedings. They're here to give an expert opinion on the evidence."

"No objections." Watts spoke as the judge turned his gaze at him.

Gavin looked at Elijah, knowing that his brother knew something he didn't. The second he established eye contact, he looked back at Conan, then at him again.

Elijah knew what he was asking.

He looked down and nodded, and Gavin felt his heart sink as he walked down towards the door, knowing he's leaving Conan here, in a viewing that will crush him, unprotected and open to full fire.

"Ms. Switt, do you mind if I ask you for details?" Raspberry sai, turning to face her as the door closed.

"No, go ahead."  
"Alright, could you list the methods of discrimination Kane himself used, as provided in the videos in our posession, in order for the jury to be prepared for the viewing?"

"Yes, well, all sorts of molestation."

"Specifically what kinds?"

"Touching genitals, forceful oral, vaginal, anal sex, etcetera." She said, looking down at her hands in what seemed to be shame, her pointy chin quivering slightly.

"And by sex you mean..?"

"Penetration by a human, in those videos, Andrew."

"What kind of penetration?"

"Genitals and foreigh objects, too."

"Alright. May I ask the clerk to present the evidence?"

"Yes, attorney Raspberry, I believe the court is equipt to view the material presented in Ms Switt's evidence. No broadcasting or recordings of any type are permitted during this section of the trial due to the graphic nature of the content."

Conan shut his eyes as the glass TV slip from inside the ceiling down the wall, right behind the judge and Ms Switt. Soon, he realized his eyes weren't going to protect him from the dirty words and the cries, so he turned off his audio reception too.

Elijah wanted to throw up so bad, he wasn't sure if it was the hangover or the video, or the mixture of both, and even though he could ask to excuse himself, he didn't.

When they Raspberry and Watts questioned him after the selected 5 videos, he struggled to get up to even start answering, and finding his usual confident and almost arrogant speech was the most challenging part.

"Mr Kamski, do androids feel anything?" Watts asked, the second he was given a chance to speak.

"Depends on the settings." Elijah said, nodding weakly.

"What settings?"

"Sensors."

"How do these work?"

"Essent-.. Basically, if an android isn't a deviant, their sensors can be regulated by their official, documented owner, by percentages. If an android's a deviant," he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to regulate his heartbeat, "they can regulate it themselves."

"The androids depicted in those videos were public property, correct?"

"Company property, technically, but yes."   
"So neither one had an assigned owner, correct?"

"Yes."

"Who or what were they assigned to."

"Companies."

"So no one regulated their sensors?"

"Yes."

"In that case, how can we know that they did feel anything?"

"Because the default standard is at 70%, which is about as much as humans feel. Except the TR series, those are at 40%, because of the nature of their work. The androids owned by companies have all their settings at default."

"Were any of those androids TRs?"

"No."  
"What models were these?"

"I can't fully identify the third one, as she has the likeness of both JB300 models and KW500, and her clothes weren't on, so I couldn't.. Couldn't..." a radiant pain shot through his head as he struggled to concentrate.

"Elijah?" Chloe's hand reached for his, as she looked up at him from her seat. "Are you-

"Yes, yes. Where was I." He straightened his stance, or at least attempted to, "I couldn't read her model number. The rest were WG600s and WJ700s, like previously mentioned by Ms Switt."

"And those were set on 70%?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, I have no further questions."

"Does the prosecution have any questions?"

"No." Raspberry answered, not mastering up the courage to face Conan.

"Are there any questions for Ms Chloe? Does the defen-

"No."

"Does the-

"No." she said, taking Conan's hand. "We got this." she smiled a weak smile, and he fixed his eyes into hers.

She felt so reassuring, so motherly, yet he was sure she wasn't real.

She knew about it, she'd seen the videos yesterday, not those 5, all of them, and he knew this the second their hands touched and their skin dissolved, interchanging data momentarily.

'I'm scared.' he spoke through LED, eyebrows slightly furrowing and watching hers rise as he showed her the sites he found just now.

Forums, blogs, posts everywhere, people who hated him, people who were preparing for the police to find their porn blogs, and then those same people threatening to find him.

He knew that this wasn't only Kane. It was a circle of people, it was almost a community. 

'We'll get you security.' She answered.

The thought that he needed security was the one that pushed him over the edge, and he started crying, disconnecting from her and covering his face as hot tears streamed down his cheeks and through his fingers.

__

Gavin paced from one wall to another in the hallway, as Hank watched him with his arms crossed, knowing the decision not to tell them was a dumb one, indeed. He should've listened to Connor, the kid was right. Knowing would've given them more time to prepare to it all.

"It's good for the case." He finally spoke, grabbing his colleague's shoulder firly as he reached his side of the wall again.

"I understand that much, but fuck, showing him like that? That's plain fucked!"  
"I know, I know. But you understand how the court works, it's fucked. You need to rela-

The doors opened and a clerk waved at them to come in.

The first thing everyone noticed were the pale faces of the jurors, then Kane's crumbled posture and Watts' arms around him, then the fact that Switt was crying.


	33. In the Long Run

💙

"You're doing great, Cona-

"I didn't even watch the videos."

Hank looked at him through the rear view mirror, and then at Connor, who nodded at him and turned to face his little brother.

"We have. We decided not to show you or tell you, becau-

"Wait, what? How did you even get access to those?"

"We went back to DPD and accessed the evidence early in the morning, before you arrived home. More than the 5. I viewed all of them in fast view, and even I regret it."

"Why wouldn't you at least tell me it was a thing?"

"You want the truth or the moral, kid?"

"The truth?!"

Hank sighed.

"The jury seeing your initial and unfiltered reaction would impact the viewing more, according to Raspberry's calculations." Connor said quietly, looking away from Conan and out the window. "I'm sorry."

Conan didn't know what to say. It hurt to know that he was essentially framed to be shocked in front of the jury by his own family, the people who were supposed to protect him, deliberately hurt him.

But he couldn't ignore the fact that they were right.

They were doing something that'd hurt him short term, but will help him in the long run.

And as he let out a heavy sigh, leaning back into the old car's cushion, he blurted a 'thank you', causing the old man and the android to exchange surprised glances at each other.

Hank smiled,

"I knew you'd understand."

"I do try."

"Speaking of understanding each other, YOU clearly have no understanding of boundaries."

"Lieutenant-" Connor tried to interrupt, but failed, as Hank took one hand off the wheel and pointed a finger in the air.

"Number one rule broken - 9 FUCKING PM-

"We were watching a movie and i got carrie-

"I DON'T BUY THAT SHIT!"

"Hank stop yell-

"SHUT UP CONNOR, I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION HERE. A VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT PARENTAL CONVERSATION OKAY?!"

"Hell.."

"CONAN LISTEN UP- Listen up, Conan." He tried to recollect his temper, taking in a deep breath, grasping the steering wheel with both hands. "Second fucking rule broken, you didn't text me, once, not ONE TIME!"

"I'm sorry-

"THIRD RULE, you didn't tell me where the fuck you were after 9! Listen, Conan, I know it's hard to believe, but I've been young too, and I've had a sex drive too-

"Jesus Hank, Jesus!" Connor interrupted again, shaking his head in disbelief.

Embarrassment now mixed with the nervousness of knowing he did, really, fuck up by not telling Hank where he was, considering he was looking out for his safety, and he really did think-

"I'VE STAYED OVER NIGHTS WITH PEOPLE I LIKE TOO, OKAY?! AND IF YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT LITTLE SHIT YOU RUN AROUND WITH, I FUCKING DO, I'VE.. PHeeeewww.... I've known him for something over 11 years, 12 maybe, I know him, and I don't want-

"You don't decide that, Hank."

"You're right, I don't. But if I'm gonna watch you fuck him-

"I'M NOT FUCKING ANYONE, I'M AS MUCH OF A VIRGIN AS CONNOR-

"What the fuck?" Connor turned around again, his eyebrows raised and mouth agape in shock.

"No offense."

"What were you doing then, watching 'movies'?!" Hank mocked, even going as far as taking his hands off the wheel and making quotations in the air, causing Connor to grab the wheel, preventing it from rolling over and crashing the car into open traffic. "I'm telling you, I'm not fucking stupid, Conan, I know what watching movies means!"

"I literally have recordings of the whole fucking night cuz I walk around with a constant recorder on-" Conan scooped over to the edge of his seat, grabbing the sides of the front seats and pulling himself even closer.

"Smart-  
"ALRIGHTY THE SECOND WE'RE HOME, YOU'RE PLAYIN IT ALL!"

"SURE THING!"

"FINE!"  
"FINE INDEED!" Conan crossed his arms in front of his chest and threw himself back into the seat like a child.

"Hank, may I intervene-

"You've been intervening the whole time with your sassy comments, Connor!"

"...I wanted to note that that would be about 13 hours of raw footage, considering they left around 5 PM and returned around 10 AM, are you 100% positive you want to sit through that?"

"We'll speed it up, not like you can miss any action!" Hank scoffed.

"You seriously think we were having sex there, Hank?"

"I hope not, because I'll chop that fucker's dick right off."

"I'm not sure if I'm offended or shocked, but seriously, why?"

"I know Gavin, that's why."

"What about him?"

"Mainly the fact that he's a fuckboy, for the majority of the time I've known him."

"What's that?"

"Oh, Conan. You really are a child, aren't you?"

"I'm-

"How about you ask him yourself?" Hank said, pulling into his driveway and abruptly coming to a break. "He'll explain it all better." he said, turning around and giving him a tired smile.  
Hank's sudden warmth gave him no room to continue arguing, so he just looked down for a second, trying to google the word, finding no clear definition in any noteworthy dictionary, before exiting the car.

"Have you been a fuckboy?" he called out, catching up with Hank and Connor as they approached the door.

"TO ALL THE NEIGHBORS WHO HEARD THAT, OFFICIALLY, NO." he unlocked the door stepping in with confidence, turning around and whispering, "a little, in college."

__

Hank gazed at him from the edge of the sofa once they went through the whole night, and he was, proven, very wrong.

Conan smiled,

"Innocent?"

"Innocent."

He didn't notice the cut between 5:45 and 6:03.

Conan felt slightly guilty for not telling Hank about the kiss, essentially, lying to him, but he was planning to tell Connor, so it won't rot in him with guilt.

As much as he loved Connor and Hank, he didn't feel at home with them. He felt like he was invading their life, like a side character a bit too close to the camera in a movie scene he didn't belong in.

It's okay.

'Maybe, maybe some day, I will fit in here.'


	34. Like it Could Fall

💚💙

"Dear Elijah,

"I'm sorry I didn't let you talk to me the other day. I am.

"You seemed under the weather today, and I can't just say nothing, I'm worried."

The sensor delete key buzzed under Gavin's finger as he let out a deep sigh.

Too preppy.

"Hey Eli, 'sup."

Too casual.

"Elijah, it's me, Gavin, though you probably already know, considering I didn't change my number in 10 years hoping you'd maybe try to call."

Too harsh.

Or was it?

"... I could've called myself. But I was scared.

"Sorry."

'I'm not fucking sorry!' he thought, deleting the word.

"I was scared that you hate me.

"When I learned you're gonna be there, at the trial, I got goosebumps thinking of it. Thinking you'll be this close but so far away at the same time and yes, ew, that sounds very fucking cheesy, but it's how I felt, and maybe being cheesy can be excusable at times.

"I was surprised the other day, when you came over to the bathroom, but even though you stood right in front of me, I didn't think you were you. Does that make sense?

"You were my everything, and then you weren't there at all."

'God that sounds like incest.'

Delete.

"You were my best friend, and then you weren't there at all."

'Better.'

"If you hadn't come, I wouldn't write this.

"I don't know you anymore, and that's terrifying, but I still feel like I can be honest about this with you.

"I'd love to talk, when, ya know, I'm not having a mental breakdown.

"Nice braid, dickhead.

"I love you."

He deleted the last line and stared at the message on his screen.

Was that too friendly?

Gavin looked at the last words and decided that no, he might as well take the risk and call him a dickhead.

He had slept for 6 hours after the trial, taking full advantage of his temporary leave from his usually heavy duty detective position, and he hadn't realized how exhausted he was from the stress of the court date until his head hit the pillow.

So he didn't even try to resist it, and fell asleep in his suit face down on his bed, confused Drama staring at him from the doorway.

That meant that he only realized that he hadn't gone through the usual routine of checking on Conan the second he got home, when he deleted the last three words of the message.

"I love you."

Why the fuck did that in specific make him remember Conan.

He didn't love Conan. He wasn't even sure if he liked Conan.

He did both somewhat love and like him in a more general way, of course, but the fact that his thought pattern went from 'I love you -> Conan -> ew no, I don't love Conan -> no, platonically I do', made him shake his head in disbelief.

'I am actually this involved with this android, aren't I? There's no way to fucking deny it, you dumbass. You fucking dumbass, what the actual fuck,' he thought, as he dialed the LED code into his phone and set it on speaker, leaning back into his chair and staring at his screen while the phone booped.

"Hello?"

Fuck, his voice is so sweet.

"Hey there, bud- Conan."

'Bud? You call your friends bud, that's friendzoning. Am i friendzoning him?'

"It's 4 AM, Gav. You ok?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Are you? After eh, them tapes-

"I...," he sighed, and Gavin could hear him lock the door behind him as he stepped outside, "I didn't actually watch them. I couldn't. I really couldn't.."  
"Thank god..."  
"I thought you were gonna call me a little bitch or something?"

"What? When have I ever been that mean to you?"

"I don't know, I guess I just sorta-

"No, where did that come from kid- eh, Conan?"

"Why are you suddenly avoiding anything other than Conan?"

"It just feels weird, calling you kid, bud, or anything else like that."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Okay, gotcha."  
Gavin smiled, crossing his arms on the desk and resting his cheek on it, looking at the phone.

"Did you though?"

"I guess? Let's just- eh, whatever. Why are you calling me at 4 AM?"

"Because I didn't when I got home, and I know you're not asleep. Plus, I was pretty worried."

"Awh, you really got that worried?"  
"Don't awh me, droid. And yes, of course I did."  
"Pft, you wish. Anyway, I'm good. Hank got mad at me, though... We're all good now, but yeah, got pretty heated in the car."

"What? Why? The fuck is up with that guy?"

"Hey, don't talk about him like that, he's like, my dad, I guess."

"I don't like dads, especially possessive ones."

"You don't like dads? What?"

"Yes, but tell me, why the fuck did he get mad?"

"We did, technically, break every single rule he gave us the other day."

"Ah shit, right. But he shouldn't be putting 'rules' on you either way. Aren't you supposed to be independent now-

"I am, but I also live with him for no reason other than he was kind enough to let me, so I have a lot of respect for him and he's an authority. Wouldn't you listen to your dad if-

"I'd shoot my dad in the balls if I could."

"Yeah, yours sorta does suck a lot. I get that."

"Let's not discuss my dad, tell me what that dinosaur was all riled up about?"

"Well, the rules. And he sorta thought that, like, we were.. ugh.."

"We were what?"

"How do I say this, that-

"No way, he thought we fucked?"

"Yup, that was very fucking embarrassing." He chuckled, and maybe it was the dazy state in which Gavin was, or it was entirely true, but it made butterflies fly up Gavin's stomach and into his throat, and he smiled, closing his eyes.

"God damn that man, why can't things just be innocent? Who hurt him?"

"I know, right? It's so far from the truth, I don't understand how he got the idea.."  
"How far?"

He could feel bolts of nervousness in his cheeks as they start to hurt from uncontrollable smiling. He knew what he was implying at, but he was just joking around, and the silence following his risky, idiotic, joke of flirting skills, made him anticipate his reaction more.

'God, the fuck am I actually doing, am I really doing this?'

"I uh," he finally spoke, before letting out a small giggle, "what?"

"How far from the truth is it, really?"

"Gavin."

"Conan."

"Stahp."

"I'll take that as pretty far, huh?"

"What? No, I didn't mean that, but like, yes, wait, the fu-

"Relax, relax, I'm messing with you."

"Aha, sure." he snickered, then giggled, then full on started laughing.

"Con?"

"Wh-What?"

"What happened?" he asked, starting to chuckle himself.

"You're fucking disgusting, that's what happened!"

"Fuck you!"

He didn't have enough time to mourn the death of his attempt to maybe see where any of this was going, as Conan's contagious laugh took a hold of him too.

"Coh- CONAN!"

"WHAT?!"

"I really, really like this."

He didn't notice how the words slid off his tongue and hung in the air, filling the other line with silence yet again.

"I like this, too. A lot."

Gavin let out a sigh of relief, and Conan could hear it.

But then it became real.

It all turned from fiction to reality, and it made his heart rush, but not in a good way.

'God, what am I doing?'

"Gav?"

His name, so softly spoken into his ear, reassured him of what he was doing. Every letter of it seemed to melt into the air, with soft concern and worry, and he could see the android's purple cheeks, and his gentle lips, and his heart felt heavy.

Like it could fall.

Like it could fall in love.

It could.

"Con?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, very okay. Hey listen, can you help me with this thing?.."

"What thing?"

"I wrote Elijah a letter, I just want you to tell me if it's okay."

"Well, that's a task a plastic detective surely can do!"

"Shut up and listen, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

"Okay, so, here it goes:

Elijah, it's me, Gavin, though you probably already know, considering I didn't change my number in 10 years hoping you'd maybe try to call... I could've called myself. But I was scared. I was scared that you hate me.

When I learned you're gonna be there, at the trial, I got goosebumps thinking of it. Thinking you'll be this close but so far away at the same time and yes, ew, that sounds very fucking cheesy, but it's how I felt, and maybe being cheesy can be excusable at times.

I was surprised the other day, when you came over to the bathroom, but even though you stood right in front of me, I didn't think you were you. Does that make sense?

You were my best friend, and then you weren't there at all.

If you hadn't come, I wouldn't write this.

I don't know you anymore, and that's terrifying, but I still feel like I can be honest about this with you.

I'd love to talk, when, ya know, I'm not having a mental breakdown.

Nice braid, dickhead."

"Holy- That's a lot!"

"I know, I know. Was it too much?"

"No, not at all. It's great, and I'm not saying this to make you feel good."  
"You don't need to say that to make me feel good, you just do."

"OH-, fuck, my heart..!"

Gavin giggled, "When do I send it?"   
Gavin giggled, "When do I send it?"

"Man... I don't know? Now maybe?"

"It's 4 AM."  
"It's almost 5 AM."

"Listen, smartass, that doesn't change jack shit, the point is, it's an obscure hour of the night, he won't see it."

"He'll see it first thing in the morning, then have a lot of time to think about it and reply."

"K, that makes sense. You think he'll get it?"

"I'm absolutely sure he will."

"I'm not so sure.."

"He loves you."

"Huh? How would you know that, Det?"

"I see it. After you told me, I started paying more attention to his body language around you, I'm designed to analyze it so yeah, that's what I'm going off of."

"Alright, I'm sending it."

"Alrighty."

"Thanks, Con."

"You're very welcome, good luck with that."

"I'm gonna go try to sleep, if there isn't anything urgent you wanna talk about."

"Nah, nothing. Good.. rest of the night?"

"Yup, rest of the night. You too."

"Mmkay."

"Bye."

"Will you hang up today?"

"Fuck you, plastic dick."

With that, he ended the call and looked at his phone with content.

He sent the letter, and attempted to sleep.


	35. Extremely Unusual/Pancakes

❤️🖤

💙❣️

Elijah woke up to the smell of pancakes and his immediate thought was, to quote :

'How tf did this smell get here from the kitchen, the vent's fucked', before remembering how much he loved the smell and sitting up with a satisfied smile.

The scent made him forget the day that now was a fever dream to him, and he lazily threw a blanket over himself, dragging the weight of it to the kitchen with him.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" she smiled, not turning away from the stove which looked more like a black box of nothingness.

"I'm not exactly shining, but rise it is." He dropped the blanket, hugging her from behind and kissing her neck.

"Wowie, I'm not the breakfast sir!" She giggled, leaning her head against his, still looking down at the pancakes.

"Does that prevent me from eating you up?"

"Oh my god, that's so-

"Hot?"

"No, it's-

"Absolutely fucking mindblowingly hot?"

"You disgust me!" She said, flipping the pancake, making the oil fuss with her.

"I'll argue on that! Look at this hot bod!"

He let her go, sitting up on the cabinet next to the stove with nothing but his boxers and posing dramatically.

"That hot bod needs a nice cold shower, baby." She giggled, one hand flipping the pancakes and the other squeezing his belly, causing him to jump off the table. "I'd also recommend brushing your teeth and eating, and then maybe, maaaybe, that hot bod might get some of this one." She said, undoing her hair and playing with it while looking at him, with her back arched and her lips pushed out, one hand still holding the fussing pan.

Then both of them started laughing.

"That's a great motivator, I'll give you that!"

"Fuck off and go take a shower, human!"

"I love you!" He yelled out, sprinting through the hallway and into the bathroom.

"You have a message!"

"You could've said it back!"

"I love you too, but I think you should check out the letter!"

She shrugged, realizing the shower was running and he didn't hear her, and put the last neat pancake into the plate.

That same thing was also done in another house, on the other side of Detroit, by an android that wasn't in the slightest equipt to do it.

As Connor struggled, scraping the half wet half burnt franken-pancake off of Hank's already miserable pan, it flew off with sudden ease and to his absolute dismay, right onto Sumo.

Thankfully, the St. Bernard didn't mind whatsoever, consuming the entire thing in one bite.

Connor sighed, setting the pan on the stove and sitting on the floor, next to the dog.

"Tell me something, Sumo. How come I can calculate the speed of a bullet precisely, but not the speed at which I should turn a pancake for it to land on the pan the way I want it to?"

The dog let out a small grunt, setting his head on the boy's lap and looking up at him.

"I absolutely agree. Doesn't make any sense."

He heard steps slowly approaching from the hallway, and could identify them as Hank right away.

But as he struggled to get up and resume his failed surprise, Sumo pushed him down, licking his face.

"No, NO SUMO, we're NOT playing, SUMOOO-

"You are adorable." Hank stopped in front of him, "Off, Sumo!"

The dog turned his head and looked at his owned, but Hank only nodded, and he got off of Connor, sitting next to Hank.

The lieutenant walked over to Connor, who now was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, an expression of dissatisfaction and frustration printed on his face, and tousled with his hair, before helping him up.

"But you suck at baking."

"Thanks, DAD, really reassuring of you."

"Trying is what matters."

Connor rolled his eyes, making Hank smile, how lucky he was to have this kid around.

He knew he wasn't Cole, but he didn't need to be. He was someone else that needed him, and he needed him too. He couldn't help but care for the thing. Hank didn't want to tell him, but he heard the conversation he had just had with Sumo and felt like hugging him, but didn't.

"Wanna see something?"

"Like what?" Connor answered, turning around and facing the mess he had created.

"Come on, goof."

He followed Hank outside, and then he felt his heart melt into a puddle of blue.

"Has he ever slept past the first night?"

"No." He answered, sharply, walking over to the backyard bench his brother lay on and half kneeling in front of him, digging his bare knee into the snow and immediately lowering his sensors.

"Hey, what are you doing? Let the kid be-

"I am, don't worry." he lay the back of his hand on Conan's forehead, and his body temperature was normal. "He's okay."

"I can see that, that was my fucking point, gee.."

"I got worried." He said, standing up and looking at his father, "I thought he might be hurt, this is extremely unusual."

"He's like a puppy to you, isn't he?"

"What?"

"You care about him. You've claimed him as your own."

"Just like you did me."

"When did you become this human?"

"I'm not so sure, over time I became more and more like you, and I don't mind."

They stood in the snow, 9:30 AM, and Hank was cold, but he didn't feel like going in.

He just wanted to stand in silence with his boys. Which was a pretty bad decision.

"What are we gonna do with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you see the future in this house?"

"All three of us going to work and shooting bad guys."

"He looks peaceful."

"Isn't that what sleep is about?"

"Yeah, but the kid hasn't had much of that."

"You don't imagine how guilty I feel for everything that has taken place since the day Markus brought him here."

"What?"

"Just that, it's just that, he trusted me with his entire life and I wasn't attentive enough, and now seeing him asleep is a miracle. How is that a miracle? It's incredibly... sad, that we're so excited by seeing him asleep. And that's all my fault."

"Connor-

"I thought he was weird. Kane, I thought he was weird. But I didn't take any action to protect him, I didn't listen to my gut telling me there was something wrong with that guy, and statistically speaking, guts are almost always right, but no, I didn't listen to myself. I just.. Let it happen. I was supposed to protect him, Hank!"  
With that, Hank grabbed his trembling shoulder and pulled him into a tight hug.

Then he felt tears on his shoulder.

"I could've-" he mumbled into his arm, but Hank shushed him, and he willingly shut up, letting the tears flow freely.

They stood like that for about 5 minutes, and when Connor calmed down, he let go of him and whispered.

"Thanks, dad."

Hank could feel his heart warm up, and all he could do was nod.

They went back inside, but the cold followed them in the form of a flu.

___

When Conan's wake up timer brought him back into reality at 10 AM, he felt nothing but relief.

His system analysis told him he was as healthy as a horse, and he was very aware of the fact that he didn't see any nightmares.

Then his thoughts went back to the night and the hour he spent talking to Gavin, and how much he felt, and how much he knew Gavin felt, and excitement buzzed through him.

He realized the court wasn't the first thing he thought about, and stepping inside, he saw Connor and Hank laughing at the kitchen table, disgusting looking pancakes in front of them.

"You're alive!" Connor exclaimed, walking over to his little brother, stopping a few steps before him, and just looking at his confused face.

"Why.. wouldn't I be?"

"You- Eh, shut up and come here."

Suddenly, he was in a hug.

'I do belong here..' he hugged his brother back, and he felt at home yet again, and he remembered the days spent in front of the TV, on the floor, and he thought to himself, 'How could I ever feel not at home here?'

He loved Connor. He loved Hank. And he even loved Sumo, and maybe him the most.


	36. Ice Cold Blue

💙💚

And Gavin Reed woke up last, because of course he did.

1 PM, he didn't believe he slept till 1PM. That was way more than 12 hours, way more, and he didn't even have the energy to try to calculate exactly how many hours he slept, but he slept like a baby.

And even when he woke up all cranky from the excess sleep, he felt light like a feather and like his lungs were finally clean. Almost clean.   
His PC was turned off, and as he looked at it, he thought about checking it. But no.

'I should give it time.'

And instead of checking if Elijah answered his message or not, he looked at the ceiling and thought about Conan.

Was he attracted to Conan?

If he liked him, he must've been. And he did appreciate his beauty, certainly, no way of denying how much he loved staring at his face. But was it sexual? At all?

After staring at the ceiling for maybe a bit too long, very much aware of the boner currently struggling through his jeans (which made him realize he fell asleep in his jeans), he realized that it wasn't a yes or no question, and that the answer was yes, somewhat, and also that it wasn't the main reason he liked Conan.

It was his purity.

It turned him on. Emotionally.

He bit his lip, hating himself a little. What would Conan be like in bed?

'Fuck you, brain. Why can't things just be wholesome to you.'

He shrugged and headed to the shower. His body was utterly disappointed in him, is what he told himself every time he didn't jerk off when he was turned on like that.

"Sorry, not bout Conan. Not now, at least."

Was he talking to his body out loud? Why, yes. Loneliness does that to people.

The cold shower seemed to bring him back to life, and as he walked into the living room, butt naked with a towel brushing through his hair, the light on the PC caught his attention right away. 

"Holy fuck.

Holy fuck, you wrote me.

I don't know what to say, but I love you, Gavin. Thank you.

I have so much to tell you, but I don't think I'll be able to over text, will I? I mean, we can, but your offer to talk sounds way more effective.

That doesn't make sense.

Anyway.

I don't fucking hate you, you stupid cunt. I've spent those 10 years mourning you. I love you.   
Come by, will you?

You know the place. Today, tomorrow, anytime, anywhere, actually. I don't care. I just want my brother back.

Also thanks, Chloe spent an hour doing that braid thing. It hurt."

Gavin looked at the screen. He just stared at the space between the words in the text, and he felt tears flow down his face.

And then he laughed.

Then he got up, grabbed Drama, and screamed.

"I HAVE MY BROTHER BACK! I HAVE, I HAVE MY BROTHER BACK!"

The cat was way too confused to even attack him.

He knew it wasn't over. He knew it wasn't all solved. He knew he was scared, scared that Elijah had changed, scare that the money, fuck, 150 billion, got to him. But what he read from that message, he was the same goddamn idiot he remembered.

Conan was outside, walking Sumo with Connor, when an incoming call interrupted him.

"I have to pick this up."

"Gavin?"

"Gavin."

"Okay. I'll be in close proximity."

"Proxi- okay, Connor, of course you will." He smiled, accepting up the call.

"Hello?"

The humans probably thought he looked crazy. Walking around, talking to himself. He wished androids could just have phones, not phone heads.

"YOU WONT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!"

"I think I already do, Gav."

"HE SAID "I love you" TWICE. HE DOESN'T HATE ME!!!"

"See? Told you so!" He said, smiling, sitting down on the closest bench.

"I- I can't believe this, Conan. Do you believe this? He told me to see him at his place, or anywhere. He just wants me back, it's like.. 10 years, we've been wanting the same thing, and it's finally here. I just, I don't think I breath-

"You talk too much to be Gavin Reed, you ok?"

"Yes, I AM Gavin Reed. Man, this is who I-

"Jesus Gav, you're having an existential crisis."

"I sure as hell might be! I don't care tho! I'm so happy, will- Con, will you come by?"

"I.." he looked at Connor. He was in close proximity as promised. He wanted to be with them, but he couldn't miss out on Gavin's extratic state. That was rare. "I'll be there in half an hour, is that okay?"

"Thanks, THANKS!"

"Alright, alright." He giggled, disconnecting.   
When he reached Connor, he seemed to know what he was about to ask.

"I'll tell Hank. He'll lose his shit. I'm used to it."

"Thanks, I just. I wanted to tell you something."

"Tell me something? Of what nature?"

"Personal?"

"Oh- go ahead, I'm all ears."

"Can we sit down?"

"Sure."

"It's just that, I lied to Hank-

"OH GOD NO, NO DEAR RA9 OH GOD-

"NO! NO WE DIDN'T- NOT THAT, JESUS CONNOR!"

Connor looked both relieved and angry.

Relieved that no, they didn't, and angry that he just scared him like that.

"Conan, I protect you when Hank scolds you, but if you put me in this state again, I will take you blood pump out with my own hands and throw it as far as my system would let me."

"Oh god Connor, you goofed so bad." Conan said, bursting into laughter.

"I what?"

"Gh- you goofed!"

And this is why Connor loved his little brother so much. Here he was, laughing hysterically on a bench in the middle of the street, after getting yelled at.

"I- what did you lie about then?"

"We- phewwww.." Conan recollected himself, looked at Connor and blurted out, "we kissed." before looking down immediately.

"You- How?"

"I don't even know. We were talking, then he kissed me, and then we sat there awkwardly. I cut that part out of the vid I showed Hank, and I feel like shit."

"That's reasonable. He'd shoot Gavin."

"I know." He examined Connor's expression nervously, ready to be scolded and told how irresponsible he was, but all Connor said was:

"How did it feel?"

"Warm?"

"Warm?"

"Yes, warm. Nice. Awkward, too."

"That's weird."

"I know."

"Hey. It's okay. Don't worry, I won't tell Hank. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with that, per say. My reaction was a bit uncalled for, when, you know, I assumed you lied about a uh,-

"Gotcha."

"Right. That's because I, I mean, I don't know if you'll take my opinion into count, but I think it's a bit too early for that, don't you?"

"I do, I do. Don't worry. Please don't worry, Connor."

"I know you're smart. I think you're smarter than me. And I know you better get going if you wanna be there 'in 30 minutes'." He winked.   
The 'in 30 minutes' was an exact replica of Conan's voice, and it freaked him out a little.

"How did you-

"Big brother is watching you."

"Oh god, Connor." He started to laugh again, but Connor took his shoulder and whispered.

"Go."

So he did.

And when he got to Gavin's, he was surprised to see him... dull.

He didn't greet him. Nor did Drama. Instead, Conan invited himself in, as the door was open for him, and found Gavin on the sofa, in a fetal position, Drama in his arms.

"..Gav?"

"You're here." He murmured. "Thanks."

"What's wrong? I mean I, I thought you were happy?"

"Me too. I thought I was happy too."

His voice was low, and it felt like it could break at any point. Not like ice or glass, but like a brick.

"What's the matter?" Conan was scared. He was weirded out, and scared. What if something bad had happened in the 30 minutes it took for him to arrive? What could've possibly happened? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, but now that the question was out there, he had to.

"I'm scared. And I'm just.. everything can go wrong."

"Everything always has a chance of going wrong."

"You don't get it." He sat up. "We're going out."

"We are?"

"We are."

"Where?"

"Belle Isle."

"What- the beach?"

"The beach."

"It's a 3 hour drive and besides, it's frozen. Gavin, what happened?"

"I know that it's frozen."

He just got up, and looked Conan straight in the eyes. He felt lost in the blues, but not necessarily only the blues. He felt lost everywhere.

And Conan felt lost in the red around the green of his eyes. He felt so lost. He couldn't look into his eyes anymore, so he looked down. And Gavin took that, and walked away.

"What are you doing?" He asked anxiously, following Gavin around the house as he searched for his jacket.

He grabbed a beanie and pulled it down his messy hair, then turned around and looked at Conan again, the darted glance causing him to stop in his tracks. It sent shivers down his spine, the look on Gavin's face.

It was determined with craze.

"I'm going to Belle Isle."

___

The drive was mostly silent.

Conan didn't look at him. He couldn't.

He told Connor not to worry, and that he'll be home late. He wasn't sure how late.

He wasn't sure why Gavin was taking him to Belle Isle.

He wasn't sure what happened and when it happened, but Gavin wasn't Gavin and Conan was scared.

"Am I scaring you?" Gavin's muffled words finally interrupted the unsettling silence.

First words in 2 hours.

And they rang true.

"Sorta..."

"I'm sorry. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I know, I know." He didn't really know, "I wouldn't ever think you'd hurt me," he did, "it's just that-

"I'm acting crazy."

"You are."

He just smirked for a few seconds, before a couple of tears slowly traveled down his face.   
Conan could only watch as he wiped them, sniffing a bit.

"It's okay, people act crazy sometimes." Conan said, softly, but Gavin didn't answer. "Hank acts crazy a lot, it's a weird thing humans do."  
Nothing. Gavin just stared at the road, gripping the wheel of his car (which Conan was in for the first time).   
"I like the beanie-

"Shut up."

So he did.

He shut up and stared out the window. And then it was there.

Belle Isle. Lonely and cold.

Gavin stopped in the middle of what seemed like nowhere to Conan   
Gavin stopped in the middle of what seemed like nowhere to Conan.

It wasn't nowhere to Gavin, though.

He stepped out of the car and surely walked towards the half frozen water, boots digging into the snow and through it with determination.

"Gavin?! Gavin what are you doing?!"

"Come."

"Gavin, no! You can't just walk in a frozen beach like-

"Are you coming or not?!"

"Gavin!"

"It's fine if you don't."

"Please stop!"

He'd reached the shore, and the snow seemed to stick up at the edges.

Gavin looked at his boots.

"You were nice." He whispered, before digging them into the immature ice.

It gave in just fine, the water seeping from in between the big chunks of wet ice, sticking to his jeans as he dug into them.

"Fuck!" Conan whisper screamed, running towards him as he got deeper and deeper into the water. 

He stopped at the last batch of solid snow, and yelled for him.

He only turned around, thighs deep in the water, and waved at him   
He only turned around, thighs deep in the water, and waved at him.

"Fuckin hell, Gavin?!"

"Come in!"

Conan looked at the water. It was too cold. He was going to freeze to fucking death and Conan couldn't just watch him.

So he pushed his leg into the ice-water. Then the other one.

Gavin stopped, waiting for him with the same solemn look in his eyes.

"Thanks."

"We need to get out, it's freezing cold, what are you thinking?" He said, almost reaching Gavin, but stopping a few feet before him, staring at him.

"I w-wrr..-wanted to sh-hhow you the mmm-m-most beautiful place everr-r." He was shaking. His body temperature was way too low, then way too high, and too low again.

"It's too cold, you're gonna-

"Me and Eli came here all the time when we were homeless and living in a car." This time the sentence came in clear. "We were stupid."

"Gavin please, you can tell me outside!"

"No, but I can't. What if he's gone? What if my Eli is gone-

"GAVIN GET OUT, WE'RE FREEZING!"

His system was slowly buzzing. He couldn't feel his legs, but he could feel his heart, and it hurt.

Conan knew the water was too cold for him to stay in, he knew he'd enter temporary shutdown or at least cause severe damage to some biocomponents, but it was happening too fast.

"You're not l-l-listening."

"That's because I'm dying- I'm freezing-"

His voice.

His voice sounded different.

It buzzed.

Gavin could hear it buzz, and it was terrifying. So terrifying that he snapped out of everything he was doing and the pain in his own legs was suddenly overwhelming.

"CONAN?!"

Conan legs gave in, and he fell into the water, and Gavin felt his body throw itself towards him.

"CONAN?! OH GOD CONAN TALK TO ME!"

"I'm here-"

His voice didn't sound like his voice anymore. It sounded like a less monotone C3PO.

Gavin dug his arms into the water, pulling him up, clots of ice coming up with him. His clothes were heavy now, and Conan wasn't light either, but Gavin pushed through the ice and out of the water. Thank god the ice was already destroyed by them entering.

"You here baby? You here? Talk to me! Conan, baby, talk to me!"

His voice was begging for answers, and his hands were begging for a sign of life as he fell to his knees with Conan in his arms.

He moved his damp hair from his face with shaking fingers, and his eyes were open, blinking, even. His face had patches of purple, so vivid that it was almost blue, and patches of white hard plastic, too, and his skin, where it was normal, was cold, so cold, too cold.

"I'm- entering temporary shut down. Gav-"

"What do I do?! God, god, what have I done? My baby-

"Take me- somewhere- warm-"

"Take me- somewhere- warm-"   
"Warm..!" He cupped his face for a second, before picking him up again, one arm under his arm and another under his knees, and running towards where he'd parked his car.

"I'll be fine." Conan's inhuman voice whispered, and when Gavin looked at his face, it lost all expressions.

And that was the single most terrifying thing he'd ever seen.

His face just went flaccid, factory setting.

Gavin screamed, but he didn't stop.

He knew he could warm up his car, and that's all he was concerned about.

"God, god, god, my baby, what have I done to my baby, GOD!"

He struggled to open to door to the back seat while holding him, but eventually managed to, leaning Conan's head against his leg and using those seconds to yank open the door.

He carefully lay him there and hurried to the driver's seat, shoving in his keys and turning on the car, only to put the heaters on full blast and sob.

Conan didn't make a sound.

He didn't move.

When Gavin went back into the back seat and put his head in his lap, he didn't do anything. He just looked and felt like a corpse.

"Isn't it warm enough for you here?" He asked what seemed like no one. Then he looked up, into what seemed like nothingness, and whispered. "God, I know I've fucked you over a lot man, I know I don't believe you exist, but to whatever there is, please, just please let me have my baby back." Tears poured and poured down his face as he realized, he couldn't lose him. He couldn't.

He hugged his body and cried for almost an hour, shaking back and forth in his car.

He screamed and he whaled. He hit the car with his fists and kicked it, and he finally got into the driver's seat, and backed out into the road, trying to see with his now worn, wet eyes through the thick snow in the shield.

He felt like dying as he slowly drove back home.


	37. Since Today

💙💚

Gavin sat in the parking lot of his apartment building in silence.

"Conan?"

He'd mastered up the courage to say his name for the first time in the last 4 hours.

And it didn't work.

It was dark outside.

He took Conan home and lay him on his bed, covered him up with every single blanket he owned.

Guess he did need comfort. Guess androids did need warmth at night.

He tried to sleep on the sofa, and failed miserably. It wasn't that the sofa was uncomfortable. It was that his mind was in shabbles.

It was everywhere. It was at Belle Isle, moving Conan's hair from his face and staring at his limp body as he ran through the cold towards his car.

It was on the roads, looking at the rear view mirror to check if he moved, his heart getting heavier every time he didn't. And he didn't move at all.

It was with Elijah, the old Elijah with his black hair in the water of Belle, and the day he almost drowned. It felt like he was drowning now too.

It felt like everyone and everything around him was drowning.

It was 6AM when he gave up on sleeping and decided to make Mac n Cheese.   
He cried into the pot and it disgusted him. Mac n Cheese with tears for salt.

He thought he heard someone say 'Gavin' faintly. But then again, he had just shoved himself into frozen Belle Isle and now had the corpse of the one person he could say he loved.

He loved.

And then he started full on sobbing on the floor.

Then it was there again.

"Gavin?"

He brushed it off.

He killed him, he couldn't call for him. It's been 10 hours since he's said "I'll be fine". And he wasn't fine. He was dead-

"Gavin?"

He ran to the bedroom, almost stepping on Drama and causing him to hiss at him. He didn't even cuss out the cat as he swung open the door.

"Since when do you call me baby?"

__

Gavin stared at him in silence, feeling like his heart night bust open any second.

He sat there, in the bed, blankets still wrapped around him and his head peaked from between them.

The purple was now faint, and the white was covered with skin.

He was there. He was alive. He was okay.

"What?"

"You called me baby like, 5 times in a every sentence before I was out. What's that about?"

"Conan, I-

"I mean, I don't mind, not in the slightest-"

Then suddenly Gavin's arms were around the blankets and he squeezed him so hard, he could barely speak.

"Oh boy, Gav, I missed you too-

"I thought you were dead!"

"I was kinda dead."

Gavin pulled away, and grabbed his face, and Conan could see tears starting to form in his eyes   
Gavin pulled away, and grabbed his face, and Conan could see tears starting to form in his eyes.

"I thought you were out for good, you fucking cunt!"

"Didn't I tell you, 'temporary shut down'?"

"Fuck you." He whispered.

It wasn't an angry 'fuck you' though, it was a 'I really can't express how relieved I am right now, so fuck you' kinda thing.

He pressed his head to his chest and kissed the top of his head.

Conan hugged him back, trying to understand the sudden display of affection that he'd never experienced before   
Conan hugged him back, trying to understand the sudden display of affection that he'd never experienced before.

"My god.." Gavin whispered a few times in a row.

"I thought you didn't believe in god."

"I don't."

"But-

"Just shut up and let me hug you while I still want to."

"Okay."

He wanted to say 'I love you', but he couldn't.   
So he just held him, and he felt like he was holding everything that mattered in the entire universe.

Conan scooped his head up and put his chin on his shoulder, hugging him a bit tighter.

Gavin felt like pulling away, slightly uncomfortable with his face being so close to his, but he also wanted to hold him tighter. He felt like the world left when he was gone, and now he was back, and he didn't care if it looked like they were lovers, or if he was ashamed of how much he mattered to him. He just couldn't give a fuck anymore.

He couldn't afford giving a fuck anymore.   
He thought about calling him 'baby'.

'Really, since when do I call you baby, baby?'

"Today."

"What?" His voice was so soft, and so normal again. Oh god, he'd missed it.

"I call you baby since today."

Conan just giggled.

Gavin pulled away and pulled the blankets, that had now crawled off of him, over his shoulders again.

"Keep warm there."

"I'm okay now."

"You're still purple."

"That's cuz you hugged me."

"Lie."

"No! For real!"

"That's why your fingers are purple?"

"Well- .." he looked at his fingers. They were, in fact, purple and pale. "You got me on that one."

"See. I'm always right."

He got up, taking his phone off the desk.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling your daddy."

"Don't call him 'daddy', and don't call him, in general."

"Conan, you died for an entire night. I feel like he needs to know."

"He really doesn't. He'll just panic and get mad at you."

"I'm okay with him being mad at me, I deserve it."

"Yeah, you do. But don't call him. Please. He's just gonna get all riled up, it's pointless. I'm fine now."

"He needs to know, Conan."

"He won't let me see you!"

"He can't not let you see me, you're not 12!"

"That's right, I'm not even a year old."

"You're like 21 or something, mind wise."

"Yeah, but he's overprotective-

"Which is why he needs to know."

"Gavin."

"Conan."

"Please."

"Don't puppy eye me."

"Pleeeeeease!"

"Conan-

"I'M BEGGING YOU CAN'T YOU SEE!"

"Fuck you, Conan." He put his phone down and sat at the foot of his bed.

"Gav.."

His voice was suddenly concerned.

"What?"

"What were you doing?"

"When?"

"In the water."

"I'm not sure. I think I had a breakdown or something."

"Why in the lake?"

"We used to.. can I not answer?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ugh, well.. Elijah fucked up a lot before not fucking up, and let's just say, we were homeless for a year back in 2020.   
"We lived in a car. It sucked, except that we lived close to the lake, and we went there a lot. It was like a hangout, sometimes in a group, my ex, his ex, sometimes just the two of us.   
"Elijah was always a good swimmer, I wasn't. I almost drowned once, cuz I decided to spook my ex by going too far in the water. Like, really far. And then I realized I can't come back. And then I remember barely breathing, and Elijah swimming towards me, and dragging me out.   
"We never went there anymore. And I guess it was today, that I was going through all our memories, and I wanted to drown there again. I guess."

"Drown there again?"

"Yeah. Drown."

"You're so stupid."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious. What's the matter? Why are you all of a sudden suicidal?"

"I kinda always am."

"You sound 12."

"You pick up on my expressions fast."

"Don't switch the topic."

"Because, Conan, I've spent the last 10 years wallowing in self pity, running away from Elijah, and how much it really hurt, and now I faced it, and I wasn't ready."

"You'll never be ready. Which is why you just need to do it."

"But what if he kills my Elijah? What if the new one, the one I don't know, destroys all the memories the second he becomes real, and the old one isn't real anymore? Does that make sense?"

"It does. But you'll just have to take the risk."

"Yeah, you're big on that."

"On what?"

"Taking the risks."

Conan smiled. "I am."

"How are your legs?"

"Promise me you'll talk to him. Promise."

"I promise."

"A little numb, but they'll be fine. My skin regenerates easily. Easier than most androids."

"Don't do that ever again."

"Do what?"

"Risk your life for me."

"I can't promise that."

"You have to. If you save my sorry ass and something happens to you, I'd prefer dying."

"Gav, come on. I'm an android. It's way harder for me to die."

"If there's even the tiniest chance, don't do it."

"I can't."

"I said, you have to. I'm dependent. I can't live without the people who matter to me. And you really matter to me. Plastic cu-

"You matter to me, too."

"I know, and I'm not sure why, but I'll take advantage of that to my best ability."

"Speaking of taking advantage." Conan straightened his back. "What's a fuckboy?"

"What?!"

"A fuckboy. What's that?"

"Where did that come from?"

"Hank. He told me to ask you."

"Oh, he called me one, didn't he?"

"He did. He wasn't shy about it either. Soooo..?"

"It's uh, a person who sleeps with a lot of people without any emotional connection, I guess is one way of putting it."

"Are you one?"

"Do I look like one to you?"

"Not really, but why would he say that."

"Welp, I'm not one for the last month or so."

"You were one before?"

"I'm not good with people, if you haven't noticed. And I have needs. Like almost all humans do."

"You're good with me."

"Which is why I'm not one anymore."


	38. I Have Never

💙💚

Gavin didn't tell Conan, but he wrote Hank a lengthy text, explaining what happened. He didn't do it because he respected Hank, or whatever bullshit he was trying to tell Conan, he did it because I didn't want him to pick up Conan, he wanted to watch over him himself. That's what he told himself, but really, he just wanted to be around him.

G- Hank.

H- disrespectful cunt

G- Oh come on, what the hell?

H- you're asking me? where tf is my son?

G- Here. In bed.

H- care to explain? i mean, you fucking have to, unless you want me to break your nose a second time around.

G- Fuck you, Hank.   
I slept on the couch.   
Tried to.

H- what the fuck are you talking about  
this ain't okay.

bring him home

G- I can't.

H- listen here you pesky little fuck, if you don't explain what the fuck is happening to me right fucking now, i'll leave DPD with a full fucking squad and raid your ass

do you fucking understand

G- Hank, listen

H- do you??????

G- Listen, okay?!   
Will you fucking let me type, wtf??

H- go ahead.

while you still have fingers.

G- Edgelord  
Basically, we had an accident.

H- WHAT KIND OF ACCIDENT

G- I kinda had a mental breakdown

H- holy fuck gavin

tell me he's alive

G- He is.   
Now.

H- now?

G- Well yeah, I can explain

H- i really hope so

G- I was showing him things when it kinda got out of hand and he went into temporary shutdown

H- holy fuck

you were

ShOwIng hIm ThInGs????

G- Are you the sponge bob meme now?

H- gavin what the fuck did you do to my kid

G- I'm trying to explain it to you   
Respectfully

H- since when is respecting people your thing

G- fuck you

Oh wait

Respect

Right

Hank listen

I know this is fucking weird

But I went to belle isle and I took him with me   
I don't know why I did any of that, but I went into the lake

H- the frozen lake?

G- yes

H- the fuck?

G- Exactly.

Anyway.

He came after me because yeah, I wasn't exactly thinking, and he knew that I wasn't.   
The water was too cold and he went into a temporary shut down.

I don't think you imagine how terrifying that was.

H- oh trust me, i do

Connor died 3 times

G- what the fuck?   
Although no, I remember the first time   
Fucking ghost

H- anyway. is he okay now?

G- I think so, yeah.   
Says his legs are hard to move.

H- if i couldn't, i'd punch you

G- trust me, I've punished myself enough.

H- i do

G- thanks

Anyway

Listen

I'm gonna take him to Target or something

Get him thirium, he said he needs some

Please don't tell him I told you

H- no

Bring him home

we have it here, he'll be fine, away from you

G- Hank please don't

H- don't what??? protect my kid from a psycho????

G- that's very mature of you, I had a mental breakdown, Hank.   
And don't tell me I'll have it again   
He won't let me

H- by that you mean he'll die saving you?  
fuck that

G- no   
I mean mentally   
This won't ever happen again, I'll never hurt him   
Please just let me take care of him now

H- take care of him? you almost killed him!

G- Hank please stop saying that

H- i don't want you around him

G- please Hank

Hank?

H- what?! bring him home!

G- Hank no, I can't.   
I need to keep him warm.   
You don't understand.

H- hell yes i don't, i don't understand any of this

G- Hank   
I carried his dead body home   
I thought he's dead   
I didn't sleep the entire night fucking sobbing   
I thought I lost everything   
He's everything   
You don't get it   
I can't let him out of my sight right now   
I just can't let you take him away   
Please   
Answer  
Hank?   
Fucking hell Hank

H- what do you want me to do? pat you on the back for not leaving him there dying?

G- Jesus Hank

What do I do to make you give me a shot?

H- not half kill my kid? is that too much to ask for?

G- I didn't   
Plus you never gave me a shot from the get go

H- you're irresponsible

G- I'm trying not to be

H- you despise androids

G- So did you!

H- i changed

G- Why won't you let ME change then?

I'm different with him   
Can you just give me a chance?  
Please?

H- chance?

G- yes, please, I won't let you down.   
Just don't take him away from me.

H- listen here, punk   
if anything happens to him

G- yes yes   
I'm dead

H- exactly

G- does this mean I get the chance?

H- means you get to try to prove to me that you're not a fuck up. i don't know why i'm letting you do this. i'm a shit parent.

G- you're not

H- i am. but if anything happens i'll have a fucking warrant on your arrest.

G- Thank you so much   
Ew I just said that   
And please   
No word to him about any of this

H- right

G- I'm serious

H- yeah

G- Connor too

H- why?

G- I'm sure Conan would like to tell him himself  
And Connor's not a good actor

H- you have a point   
update me  
on everything

G- Is your autocorrect off?

H- fuck off

G- ttyl

H- whatever   
H- typing...

"I'm ready!"

Gavin heard Conan's voice from the hallway and almost dropped his phone.

"Oh, wait, I'm not." He said, rushing to put on his finally dried boots and jacket on.

"Do I look okay?"

"You look.." Gavin looked up from his shoes and at the snowman in front of him,

"Absolutely fucking adorable."

"That's not what I'm going for. Can I take one of the coats off? Please? I don't need warmth in my torso anymore-

"No."

"I look fat."

"You look like you have 3 coats on. Which is exactly the truth."

"Yeah and they make me look fat."

"You're stupid. Move."

Conan took one coat off, and stood between Gavin and the door with a poker face.

"I'm taking this one off too."

"Like hell you are."

He did tho.

Gavin just sighed and moved past him.

___

Finding a free parking space was hard, especially since Gavin just realized it was Sunday afternoon.

When they finally managed to park, Gavin helped Conan out and into the nearest grocery shop.

"I've never been to places like those.."

"Really?"

Conan said 'I've never' a lot that day.

"What are we looking for?"

"Anything thirium should do the job. You know where that is?"

"Isle 8. Thirium products. That's out spot."

"There's an entire isle?"

"Course there is, dummy. Even before the revolution, it was here. People liked treating you guys like you were part of their families."

"You say that like we weren't. What's next, I'm not alive?"

"I don't mean-

"I'm messing with you." He said, limping towards the isle, "...wow."

"What?"

"I'd never seen this stuff before."

In front of him were dozens of different brands of thirium products. Candies, soft drinks, chips, even.

"You hadn't?"

"We only had Blue Buzz at home."

"Wow, Hank is a neglectful father."

"Don't say that."

"I'm joking, calm down."

"I'm calm. Well, no. I'm not. I want all of this."

"Then get all of it, I'm your sugar daddy now."

"I'm sorry, for even any-

"Shut up and get what you want."

"You really don't have to, I can sneak some from Connor at home-

"Conan. Take something. I'm not complaining about being your sugar daddy, really."

"Pfft, right, daddy."

"I'm very serious right now Conan."

"You know sugar daddies usually have alternate motives, right?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth."

"Mhmm..." he walked down the isle, looking at the various options of thirium. "The look like a lot, but they're all the same."

"Maybe Eli and that Markus guy should work on those."

"Yeah, well, we don't need food, per say. Only when we're injured."

'And you're an injured little baby' Gavin thought, and wanted to say, but kept it in, following Conan down the isle.

"Hey, what's this?" The poster sticking out of the shelves caught Gavin's eye.

It was a cutout of three androids, the middle one holding a box of colorful juice bottles. The other two seemed amazed, while the one in the middle looked proud.

It was weird, considering the revolution, and how Gavin had seen this poster at least a dozen times before while moving through the isles, and thought,

'People are fucking delusional' at least half of those times.

He felt that way because, well, those androids didn't feel shit, yet people spent money buying different flavors of their own blood to them so that they could convince themselves they cared.

It felt like flavored dog treats to him at the time.

Now, he felt excited about Conan trying them.

'Oh, how the tables have fucking turned   
'Oh, how the tables have fucking turned.' He thought, as Conan stood next to him and looked at the poster.

"Oh, they have flavors? How is that possible?

"Oh, they have flavors? How is that possible?   
"I don't know. You should try and see."

They picked out one of every flavor: apple, strawberry, peach, lemon, chocolate, banana and coffee   
They picked out one of every flavor: apple, strawberry, peach, lemon, chocolate, banana and coffee.

In the car, Gavin asked:

"Where does it go?"

"Where does what go?"

"The thirium. Where does it go?"

"Hasn't Eli ever talked to you? Didn't you like, live together when he discovered thirium 300?"

"Every then he started talking about his scientific mumbo jumbo I sorta zoned out."

"You're so attentive."

"Well, where does it go?"

"Out autoimmune system consumes it, like, it goes into our bloodstream and adjusts to our blood."

"Adjusts to your-

"Every Android has a different batch of thirium, it's just like your blood."

"Autoimmune system?"

"Yeah, biocomponents, bio is the key word. We're pretty biological. Our brains are circuit, yeah, bones are sorta metal, although not really, but we're still biological."

"Where does it go if you take too much tho?"

"What do you think?"

"Best guess is you piss, or it seeps out of your eyes like a curse."

"Your first guess is accurate, tho I'd love the second one too. I've never done that tho."

"You haven't ever taken a piss?"

"No, and it's not like it's a common thing."

"So y'all don't shit?"

"Nah."

"At all?"

"Nope."

"Welp there's a hidden advantage in that."

"What advantage?"

Gavin looked at him for a second, chuckled, then look back on the road.

"I love your innocence."

Conan just shrugged and looked out the window.

He really didn't get it.

He tried to, but he didn't.

'Whatever, human.' He thought.

Author's note: art by me :33 enjoy!


	39. Elek, Mój Chłopak (Eli, My Boy)

🖤(❤️💚)

"He hasn't answered."

"You're overthinking it."

"I probably am."

"Keep your back straight."

"The fucking mat is escaping me, I can't."

"How does the mat moving have any connection to your back? Stretch forward, breath in and-

"I can't." he let go of his toe and pulled his other foot from underneath himself.

"ELIJAH! You can't exit a pose like that!"

"I make my own rules, Chloe."

"You're ruining the entire aura-

"There was none to begin with."

"Eli.."

"Look at me, lying here on my soft ass yoga mat in my own personal gym, breathing expensive air, still absolutely pathetic."

"You're not pathetic in the slightest."

"Yes, I am. I'm a sad excuse of a man."

"Don't you dare call my man sad."

"Just..." he leaned on her shoulder and sighed. "It's like I put all of the panic from 2028 on hold and now it's back."

"You'll be fine."

"Chloe, no. Stop saying that. I won't be fine, I'm not fine."

"Fine." she got up, rolling her mat and starting to walk towards the class doors of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Purple room."

"Why?"

"The Groundcovers need taking care of too, you know.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I just think," she placed on hand on the metal of the door, "I need to clear my mind. Alone. You do, too."

He looked away and lay back on the mat, closing his eyes, seeing only the red of his eyelids and hearing only the white noise of the water running on the wall.

He loved this room, and he usually loved yoga too.

But right now, he could only think about his brother and the flood of memories suddenly escaping the cages he'd locked them in.

The way Nadia eyed him with her cold blue eyes, and the way he cried for an hour in this stranger's arms.

She really wasn't a mother.

He'd visited her in Poland the same week he found out about her existence.

He didn't tell her, and he only took a backpack of clothes and Chloe.

She wasn't home when he got there, and thank god Chloe could speak polish.

"Przepraszam? Pani Babinska? [Excuse me? Mrs Babinska?]"

"Czy ja cię znam? [do I know you?]", the chubby old woman turned around to face her, before cupping her red cheeks between her hands and gasping, "Elijah? Elijah Reed?"

"Fuck.." he whispered, burying his face into his coat.

"Mój Boże! [my god!]" the woman exclaimed, "Chloe?!"

Chloe nodded, smiling.

"Who is this woman even?"

"Your mother's neighbor. Pani Babiska, czy Nadia wciąż tu mieszka? [Mrs Babiska, does Nadia live here?]"

"Tak, tak, ona jest moim sąsiadem! Oj, ona wyszła po artykuły spożywcze, a, czemu? [Yes, yes, she's my neighbor! Oh, she went out to get groceries, but, why are you asking?]"

"Musimy z nią porozmawiać, ale dziękuję. [We need to talk to her, thank you.]"

Elijah didn't get a word of their conversation, which continued on as he walked down the stairs of the gray building.

The walls were cracked in places, and the elevator they used to get to the 8th floor of the soviet building looked about as reliable as a cardboard being pulled up by strings.

He remembered that.

That thought.

And the smell of old men in it.

He'd rather use the stairs.

It was on level 3 that a woman stuck out to him, mostly because she was the only person there, standing mid stairs and staring up at him as he stopped at the top of the stairs.

She had a small fur hat on her blonde hair and a long coat, and her thin eyebrows were raised, opening up her big, icey blue eyes wider.

He could feel his heart tighten in his chest as she put the groceries on the stairs and slowly walked towards him.

She was a small woman, and when she got to his level, she was lower than his shoulder.

"Last I saw you," she smiled, her dark red lipstick shining, "you weren't even a proper baby."

He came to realize in the next year that her smile was something he needed to really fight for.

He bought her a house, a car, moved her out of that 8th floor apartment. Yet she wouldn't smile, or hug, or laugh.

She laughed once.

"I look polish."

That's what made her laugh.

"You half baked american idiot!"

'Half baked american idiot?'

"You might have polish blood, you might look like a testasteroned version of me, but you don't look or sound one bit polish", she continued in her slightly accented english.

He smiled, not knowing what to say or do.

Then there was the time she slapped Chloe across the face and called her a 'suka' when she failed to vacuum the house the way Nadia had told her to.

"She's not our servant, Nadia." he said, stepping between them.

"Androids are slaves. That what they're sold as. And as far as I'm aware, your money only comes from their slavery, so don't complain, bachor."

Bachor.

She called him that a lot.

It meant brat.

He kept Chloe's sensors off for the rest of their stay.

That was mid summer.

Fuck summer.

Summer sucked, because at 2 AM on his birthday, July 17th, Nadia woke him up with a flashlight.

"We need to talk."

"It's- What time is it?"

"That's not important, bachor, we need to talk."

In the light he could see tears running down her soft, slightly wrinkled features, and seeing her without makeup for the first time made him realize how similar they really were.

Dread immediately filled his throat as he followed her, in her long nightgown, to the livingroom.

There was wine on the table, and two pictures.

"Elijah, mój chłopak [my boy] , do you see this?" she pointed at the picture, before sitting down and gesturing him to sit down next to her. He nodded, "It's you."

"I know. Why are you showing this to me now?"

"It's the only picture I had of you. I didn't try to search for you, I didn't try to follow the news, and I didn't care about the androids."

"Okay?"

"Elek," it was the first time she'd called him that, and he felt his heart warm up a bit, "I don't give a fuck."

And then his heart was cold again.

He stared at her in silence.

"You don't?"

"It's disgusting. And I have to tell you all of it."

And she did. Heartlessly, she told him everything, her blonde, dry bangs hanging in front of her forehead. He noticed that because he tried to focus on it as she spoke, to keep his eyes from watering.

She told him how she was a writer, how she wanted to write her own stories, how she wanted to move to LA, the city of success.

How 17 year old her tried to pull this masterpiece of a movie esque plan.

Get pregnant by an american, have his baby, have him marry her and boom, she's got her citizenship, and how it all fell apart because turned out he was married, and Martha didn't leave Jordan, and they pulled their own masterpiece on her and deported her.

"Don't pick a handsome man, they're usually married."

She told him how much she hated them.

How much she hated him, for taking 9 months of her life and her 17 year old beautiful body from her.

How she felt betrayed by a baby. How she kept him a secret from her husband when she moved back to Poland, whom she divorced after 14 years because he wanted kids, and truth be told, Nadia Kamska didn't like kids, or the idea of having any.

And how much she wished she could love him, but she just couldn't.

"It's not your fault. I'm a disgusting human, but it's not your fault, Elek. Come here."

Then the stranger pulled him into her arms, and he knew that was the first and only time he'd feel his mother's skin. And he cried. And she cried.

Stranger.

That stranger told him to leave.

He left, but he took something.

Her last name.

Why, he wasn't sure.

He just kind of liked being mysterious Mr Kamski.

The rumors spread like wildfire, and only 5 people knew the real reason why he changed his last name.

5 people and one android.

And now, a lot of people did.

Their little family secret was out and about. Hank, Connor, Conan, North, Kara, Ripple and Echo knew, and he was sure that Markus would in the near future too.

He was sure because he was planning to tell him.

Work wasn't cancelled because of the trial, he still went to the tower with Markus and worked, even.

He missed working.

That was a sentence he never thought he'd think back in 2021, when him and Gavin worked two jobs and finally had saved up enough money to get an apartment.

Then they took a weeks off of everything and partied like normal frat boys would.

Gavin, he was actually a normal frat boy. Elijah wasn't.

He wasn't ever a normal boy, overall, and he guessed that was why he never got to be a normal man. Manhood is hard.

So is boyhood.

Things change all of a sudden when you're a man.

Getting blackout drunk stayed though.

And of course, he wouldn't remember the things that happened that week.

But they happened.

"She verbatim called me a fuckboy!" Elijah said, laying the empty bottle of beer next to him, drunkenly laughing, "Me, a fuckboy!"

"Oh my god, fuckboy, I'm d E A D!" Gavin practically screamed from the other edge of the sofa, still hugging his bottle. He didn't feel his eyes in their sockets, they were sorta floating, that's how drunk he was. His head felt like it could explode under pressure at any moment, and Elijah's laughter echoed ten fold, but for some reason, it only made him happier in the moment. "God we're wasted bro, we're fucking- shit I think I'm-"

"NOT ON MY NEW SOCKS, GET OFF!"

"I'm too -huh- lazy to go twrowr- oh god I gotta go throw up-"

"GET UP, GAVEEEN!" Elijah yelled, getting up and grabbing Gavin by the shoulders, knocking down both of their bottles and the ones he had aligned on the arm of the sofa, breaking them. "WOWIE OOPS! GO TO HELL BOTTLES! We need to tHROW UP NOW!"

"I don't think I can-"

"YES YOU CAN! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING GAVEEEEE-

"YES I CA- take me to the bawthwroom- guh, nhOOOW!"

Even this drunk, Elijah knew how easily Gavin could throw up all over the place, so he took the last "now" as a command to get up, dragging Gavin with him to the bathroom, and by the time he was there, he forgot what made him go there.

Remembered pretty fast though, as Gavin threw himself over the toilet and there went the two pizzas they had consumed three or so hours ago now.

"The human digestive system sucks!"

"Th-" puke interrupted him, "true that, Eli.. tell me what, do your robos have digestive systems this sucky?"

"Androids- when they exist, won't need to fucking eat, I hope! They'll piss though."

"That's sad." Gavin finally finished puking and sat himself against the toilet. "Food's awesome, but the same food shouldn't be in your mouth twice."

"That, my brotha, is hilarious!"

They started laughing, pointing at each other sat on the bathroom floor, when Gavin's phone buzzed. Loudest buzz Gav had ever heard.

"Who that?"

"I don't kno—- oooooooh, I, is this written Calleb? Can't read, can't even properly reeeeawd-"

"Lemme see," Elijah said, scooping closer and pulling his glasses towards the phone "Caaaall- e, CALLEB, yes!"

"Yooooo!"

"What? Who's Calleb?"

"The dude from the party, Saturday? Friday? Whatever the party was, the dude who told those sucky homophobes to fuck off, that guy."

"Ooooooh, remember that? Dope dude, much respect."

"I knew he's a big gay, yeET!"

"Did you just yeet?"

"I think I did, yes. Is that embarsssssingg?"

"Quite, yes. Maybe? Just maybe a wild thought, he's looking out for you!"

"People don't work like that, you know, right?"

"I look out for you!"

"You're my brother! That's kinda sorta highkey your job!"

"My job? My job- my job is to CEO at CaybherLaif!"

"TO CEO AT CYBERLIFE, I'm gonna die!"

"DONT DIE! Gavin we're so fucked. We're fucked."

"Why? This is just-, uh, I think I'm gonna-

"Toilet's behind you, it's there, right-

"Gotcha!" Gavin showed him a thumbs up and turned away at the speed of light.

"God you're gross!"

"Phck!"

"What did you just say?"

"I said fuck!"

"You just says phck and I'm gonna cry laughing about it. But problem is, how am I gonna CEO tomorrow, if I'm this fucked today?"

"Crying, crying."

Neither of them would remember that Gavin predicted this the next morning, but he predicted right.

At 2:30 PM, Elijah got to the then CyberLife warehouse and sat in his office, crying about his headache, the same office in CyberLife he decided to go to now.

Work would get his mind off of things.

It had to.


	40. Don't Test Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I have a song for this chapter! I listened to this on loop when I wrote the first part of the chapter, it's beautiful :,)   
https://youtu.be/Ce70HzRw9Dg

💚💙

"Conan?" Gavin said, locking the door behind him.

"Gavin?"

Gavin turned around to see him with three bottles in his arms, one slowly sliding down as he tried to scoop it up with his elbow.

He still looked pale and worn out, but his eyes were wide open and his eyebrows were raised up, in a way that seemed so casual, like he hadn't..

Died.

Made him smile.

"I'm gonna take a nap and then drive you home, I'm just exhausted. Is it okay if you chill round here? 30 minutes and a coffee are enough for me, really."

"Oh.. Okay."

"You sound like you have something to say?"

"No, I just... Nothing, I'll just be in the living room."

"Alright." Gavin answered with a pinch of doubt in his voice.

Conan watched him lock the door behind him.

Why'd he do that?

Conan wanted to ask, but instead he just walked into the kitchen and settled the 3 bottles in his arms on the table.

Apples were sour, apparently.

Coffee was slightly bitter, but with a soft sweetness.

How he knew what was sweet and what was sour, he wasn't exactly sure.

He didn't really think about it much though, instead, he sat down with the coffee flavored one and thought about the trial. He thought about the sites he'd found, and he thought of checking them.

He couldn't bring himself to do it. The faces, the sounds, he managed to turn them off as soon as they loaded when he first found them, but if he wanted to identify the people involved, he'd need to see them.

The thought of going back into the sites made his newly sobered up mind dizzy, and as he watched his pale hands light up again, a tear dripped onto his palm and slid through the creases in his hand. He smiled at the tear, and closed his palm.

He had to do it, didn't he.

Next court date was in 2 days, if he did his research now and gave Raspberry all the info, maybe it'd be of use. Maybe, just maybe, it'll be enough to arrest more people.

Why would they arrest them?

It wasn't illegal when they did it, was it?

It wasn't illegal when Kane did it, the videos. Kane wasn't even charged with anything other than .. this.

He needed to find post revolution footage.

Footage after the Android Rights amendment was settled. He thought he could probably easily do that, and hated the fact that that's the case.

It was all too heavy, and so he did the only thing he knew.

Gavin was curled in a ball of blankets that were previously on Conan, some of them on the floor now.

He was facing the door, with one hand under his pillow, the under cover.

He looked so peaceful, Conan felt slightly guilty for even coming into the room. Really, why had he even come into his room? Why had he even come into his life?

"I'm not actually asleep." he murmured, half opening his eyes and giving him a faint smile.

Conan felt his heart tremble at the softness of Gavin's voice, and the warmth in his tone.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Come here." he extended his other arm, opening the sheets to reveal a gray shirt and boxers.

Conan's legs didn't seem to listen to his mind, which felt slightly awkward, but he did as he was told, walking towards the bed.

"Lowrrd.." Gavin groaned, digging his head into the pillow, "Take that fucking coat off."

"Oh shit, forgot about it."

"Sure." he smiled again, watching Conan awkwardly take the coat off and put it on the cabinet next to the bed.

He sat on the bed and took his boots off, then looked behind his shoulder to see Gavin still smiling, eyelids still heavy.

Laying back into the bed felt like his body gave up all possible discomfort and he melted into the warmth of it.

"Now tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"I've known you your literal whole life, I know when you're lying, so tell me.." he yawned, "what's wrong?"

"Can I just lay here for now?"

"You really don't wanna talk?"

"Yup."

"Alright. Anytime. I'm back asleep then."

"Okay."

"Hey," Gavin put a hand under his face and pulled the covers over his shoulder, "you're okay."

Conan just wanted to hug him and cry though.

So he did.

And as he hugged his chest, tears running down his nose and dripping onto the bed, he went through the most recent uploads on all the sites, zooming in on the faces of the humans in the videos.

Jim Stuart, 46.

Marley Kim, 27.

Bill Hobrins, 66,

Maria Philips, 31.

Joshua Barn, 53.

He kept the videos on mute, watched as little of it as possible, only using the frames with the faces, taking screenshots of them and putting them in separate folders with the video and the identification files, and it piled on.

By 6PM, when Gavin woke up, he had more than 200 faces and he'd stopped crying.

'Funny how pain causes numbness.' he thought, as he finished stocking the evidence.

__

"Hey." Gavin's warm voice brought him back into the room as he felt his finger on his led. "You in there?"

"I'm here. I'm here, yes."

"Now will you tell me what's up?"

"Gav, will you.." he sat up, facing Gavin, causing his hand to slide off of his face and down his arm. He felt something new, entirely, but shook it off as he focused on Gavin's eyes. "Will you take me to DPD?"

"I mean.. It's not my shift, why?"

"I need to submit evidence into my case."  
"Your case is an ongoing trial, how-

"I know what I'm doing, Gav, can you please take me to DPD?"

"You sound confident, tell your pappa we're going in. He might be there."

"Yeah, right.. Gav.."

"Yes?" Every time he said 'Gav', his heart melt into a puddle. It was so pure, so gentle, comfortable with him, like he wasn't this big bad mean guy.

He missed being 'Gav' to people.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Myself."

"What? Why?"  
"Everything is just too fucked up, and I feel like I'm losing touch with myself."

He hadn't exactly planned saying that, but it just came out of his mouth and he immediately regretted it. He wasn't even sure what it meant, and by the looks of it, neither did Gavin.

"Baby.. I really don't know what to say."

Conan smiled at the 'baby', was he really serious when he said it? He wasn't sure, but it made him feel good anyway.

"I know, sorry."

"No, don't apologize. People have messy thoughts sometimes."

"Am I acting like a stupid teenager?"

"Isn't everyone acting like a stupid teenager? Man, I do, and I'm 36."

"Yeah.. You have a point. Hank most of all."

Gavin chuckled at this, getting up and searching the room for his pants.

Conan smiled, scanning the room.

"Left corner, on the edge of the desk, you messy man."

"Fuck you, and thanks."

"Fuck you back, you're welcome."

"Okay, come do it."

"What..?"

"Conan, a joke." he said, pulling a his jeans up on one leg while balancing on the other. "Toss me that jacket, please."

Conan threw the jacket at him, almost knocking him off.

"What the fuck? You back on that 'am I a joke to you' bullshit?"

"Nope, you asked me to toss it, I tossed it!"

"You fucking assaulted me with a jacket RK900!" Gavin snickered, putting the jacket on and walking towards the bed.

"Wow what the actual fuck was that?"

"Me trying to sound intimidating by using your prototype."

"Damn, so dominating."

He stood in front of him and put his finger under his chin, and his heart dropped again, as he leaned closer, his nose next to Conan's.

He could feel his breath as he whispered.

"Don't test me on that, buttercup."

The new feeling from before was back, and it clotted in his throat as he leaned in, but Gavin pulled away and winked, before giggling.

"Get dressed, we're going to work."


	41. Way Too Emotional

💙💚

"It's time for the DayQuil, Lieutenant." Connor said from across the desk, sliding the two pills towards the grumpy man.

"I'm fine." he barked back.

"You've got the flu, Hank."

"I'm just under the weather."  
"Dad."  
"You got me there." Hank winked, sloppily taking the pills and getting up.

Connor wanted to ask him about Conan, but he knew something was up by the way Hank was avoiding the topic, and he was sick, so pushing him wasn't a good idea.

He decided that if Hank didn't say anything, he must be okay.

And as the decision was made, Conan ran by his desk, Gavin right after him.

"Sup, cunt!"

"Gavin?! Gavin what the-

"I'll explain!" Conan yelled, pushing to door to Fowler's office.

Detectives and officers looked at each other for a few seconds, then someone said,

"Just Gavin," and everyone went back to their business, some giggling, others shrugging, others having not reacted at all.

"What the hell is up with you, Reed?!"

"Welcome back, Captain Fowler."

"My name is Conan, I'm-

"I know who you are."

He looked dissatisfied, his eyebrows pressed together in a frown, his fists on the desk, leaning forward.

"Right, yes, we have a HUGE case-

"Hold on for a second, you just barged through my door, both of you, looking like street rats, here to present me a fucking case?"

"Listen, Fowler, this is a big deal." Gavin said, his voice serious and steady with confidence.

"Alright, and I'm willing to listen, if you sit down and properly explain what the fuck is going on."

"I'm sorry, Captain." Conan looked down, sitting in the chair in front of Fowler's desk.

Fowler sat down, sighed, and looked at Conan with a small smile, like he was relieved that they two messes sat down.

"Now tell me, what's the big issue?"

"Captain, we have a huge lead for Kane's case-

"Kane's case is an ongoing trial, how do you have a lead for it?"  
"Well, we need to turn it into an ongoing investigation then, or open another case, Fowler." Gavin scoffed, looking down at his shoes.

"Tell me what you've got."

"It's an active sex ring, they operate online..." Conan went on for what seemed like an hour or two, laying out identifications on the desk, naming names, showing evidence, forwarding links and Fowler seemed all ears, nodding, not making comments. "I've identifies 258 individuals, I'll identify the rest today, we can send units to arrest them all across USA and countries that have android rights, I'm sure we can save so many people, everywhere, please, let me do this."

"Son.. We'll need to get warranty for every single one's arrest, you'll need to open a case..-

"And I will! Captain, trust me, I'll do it all in no time, I'm equipped with the-

"Son, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, they're not! Captain, they have kids in those videos, kids!"

"I understand that you're coming from an emotional place and you sympathy towards them is understandable, but Detective, this is a bit much for us."

".. Emotional?"

"Your traumas are fresh, kid."

"My traumas? What do my traumas have to do with any of this?"  
"Like I said, you're not looking at this from a logical stance, you're taking it emotionally. You're weak right now, you-

"I'm.. weak?"

"You are, you need time before getting back into the hustle."

"I presented facts, I, I showed you proof, I don't understand-

Conan's voice cracked, and when Gavin looked up at him, he was shaking again.

"You're personalizing it."

"Holup," Gavin raised his hand, gesturing for Fowler to shut up. He spoke for the first time after sitting down two hours ago, and both Conan and Fowler were slightly taken aback by the stealth in his voice, "you're saying that you're not willing to open a case and arrest hundreds upon thousands of predators.. Because?"

"Because-

"Because he's a 'victim', and his facts, therefor, aren't valid to you?"

"That's not what I said-

"Yeah that's what you meant."

"No, Detective Reed, you're really reaching-

"Open the motherfucking case, Fowler."

"Are you in fucking need of reminding who the fuck is the Captain, and who's the Detective around here?"

"Open the damn case."

"Ask the fucking FBI, Gavin."

"Fuck you."

Gavin got up and left the room, leaving Conan and Fowler alone.

Fowler sighed, looking up at Conan.

"He's angsty, isn't he?"  
"Sure."  
"He didn't understand me right, son."

"I think I do."

"Good -

"Go fuck yourself, Captain."

That was the single most rebellious thing he'd done, ever, and it felt like weights were pressing down his chest as he stood up, still looking at shook up Fowler, and calmly walked out of the office, trying his best not to drop down bawling his eyes out, screaming every profanity that came to mind, adrenaline being the only thing keeping him from doing so. He could see the reflection of his red LED as he opened the glass door.

The lump in his throat grew bigger and heavier, when Hank, who stood next to the stairs that led to the office, with Connor and Gavin by his side, pulled him into a hug.

"You just told him to go fuck himself, didn't you?"

"Sure did."

"My son."

__

He looked at Gavin from behind Hank's shoulder as he hugged his father back.

Gavin looked as angry as the turmoil inside Conan, except his was very much outside.

His eyebrows were pressed down, eyes squinted in anger, and in his heavy, frustrated breaths, he looked at Conan, and seeing his tears, for a moment, his expression switched to concern. Then he looked down, shook his head, and the anger was back.

He walked towards his desk and threw himself into the chair.

"That droid's getting to you, is he?" Tina's voice came from behind him, as she put a hand on his shoulder.

She was the closest thing he had to a friend, he met her back in uni, and they'd been.. Well, on good terms since then.

Not anything special, nothing too real.

"What?"

"He's frustrating."  
"The fuck, Tina, no he's not. Fucking Fowler though, can you believe this shit?"

"Tell me over coffee, I don't think you can work right now, can you?"

"Yeah, sure as fuck can't."

"Just don't shoot the 'droids. I know you hate them, but they're citizens now, you'll-

"I don't hate them, Jesus."

"Huh?"

"Have you not seen the trial- You know what, whatever, coffee and rant?"  
"Per usual."

__

"We have FACTS! Fucking FACTS on FACTS, faces, identification, we have EVERYTHING! God, and he won't let us do ANYTHING about it!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"Wow there, buddy. I get it, but what he said about the FBI.. he has a point. If you and you 'droid friend have all the evidence, if it's so damning, the FBI will be able to handle it was better."

"Conan can handle it-

"Not really. He can do all the digging and all the investigation, but he can't be in all those places and do all those arrests, Gav, you know how the FBI works with sex rings. They're the pros."

"I know how they work, I know how sex rings work, Tina, it's my specialization, and I've worked with them. I know how all sex crimes work, Tina, I-

"If you say Tina one more time in the same sentence I will arrest you."  
"Gotcha, anyway, I know they'll screw up."  
"You just want to be the hero for that boy and do it all yourselves together."

"What-

"Shut up, I'm right."

"No, but-   
"I know you Gavin."

That he couldn't argue with.

He just stared at her. She smiled, a warm smile he'd missed.

"You know me better than I know myself sometimes, how do you manage that?"

"Yeah, 15 years does that to a person. I have a PhD in Gavinology, ya know."

He chuckled, "You do."

"Well?"

"I'm still not sure if-

"Gav?" Conan stood in the doorway, his nose red and eyes from the crying.

"Where's your coat?"

"It-, ugh, seriously?" Conan sighed, "They have heating in the building, and I already told you, I'm-

"You're fine."

"Yes."

Gavin smiled and looked at Tina. She was smiling too, the sheepish 'I got you' smile every girl friend gives her friend when she knows what's up. He sighed at her.

"What is it? What are you smiling about ma'am?"

"Nothing."

"Gav-

"Shush for a second, Conan. What is it, Tina?"  
"Nothing."

Gavin scoffed, turning to face Conan.

"Yes?"

"Hank said he can contact the FBI for us-

"I can do that too, don't worry. I've taken down rings before."

"He also-" he sniffed, then smiled, seemingly at his own crybabyness, "He also asked if you'd like to come by for dinner?"

"He seriously said that?"

"Yeah. I think he gave up."

"Get a room." Tina giggled, taking to two empty coffee cups and walking out of the room, the smile still on her face.

"What?" Conan looked after her, confused. "What does that even mean?"

"You're silly." he walked around the table and over to him, "and naive as fuck," he stood inches away from him, and suddenly Conan's heart wasn't in pain anymore.

He put his hand under his chin and guided him down to his lips, softly kissing him once before pulling away and whispering, "and I like that."

Conan looked down, smiling through his purple cheeks.

"So when's dinner?"

"Hank's shift is done now, so-

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, I didn't get any work done today.."  
"It's okay if you don't wanna come.."  
"Hell no, how can I miss such an offer?" He smiled.

"Truly."


	42. All Talk, No Action

💚

Dinner was chicken wings and fries, KFC, a meal Gavin could never turn down.

The thing that Gavin's mind decided to gloss over when he accepted Hank's offer was that the RKs... don't eat... chicken, so dinner implied him and Hank sitting face to face and eating in heavy silence. Alone.

Conan and Connor locked themselves in Connor's room, Hank didn't say a word, and he wondered if all of the Andersons were ganging up on him in one coordinated plan to teach him a lesson.

So as Hank but into the chicken, Gavin felt like he was biting straight into his guts.

"I uh... sup?"

"I'm sick." Hank barked back.

"Got the flu?"  
"The flu."

"Yeah, it's uh, cold outside."

"I was staring at Conan."

"Outside?"

"Yup, kid fell asleep on the bench outside the other day. I thought he died or somethin'."

"... You don't say."

"Gavin, I know you think I'm just a crazy old man."

"I do."

Hank sighed, pushing the plate away from in front of him and leaning on the table.

"But these boys mean the fucking world to me. If it weren't for the plastic prick, I'd be dead by now. For multiple reasons. And he loves Conan, more than himself. It's really a given that I'd love the kid too. I don't think you'd understand, but they're all I have, and if-

"He's all I have too, Hank."

Hank smiled, his permanently sad eyes fixated on him as he leaned back into his chair.

"Gavin Reed calls an android 'all he has', someone pinch me."

"Come on, I'm not so bad."

"Need I remind you-

"No, thanks. Need I remind you?"

"Mine was political."

"Bullshit. You hated them just as much as I did, truth is, we both blamed them for things they never did, things personal to us."

"We did."

"Hank, you're overprotecting him."

"I think I have pretty valid reasons to do so."

"He could snap me in half if he ever needed to."

"Oh, I know. It's not the physical threat of associating with Gavin Reed that I'm really worried about. Althouuugh..." he raised his eyebrows, looking down sarcastically, ".. you somehow manage to fuck that up too."

"Okay, yes." Gavin's words were quick, in defeat, but determined, as he pushed himself onto his elbows on the table, using his hands as a last resort of making a point, "I fucked up, okay? I get it!"

"What if you fuck up again?"

"We talked about this."

"Okay," Hank nodded, eyebrows still raised, "He 'keeps you sane', right."

"Yeah, that's cheesily true."

"And you won't hurt him."

"I'd never."

"Physically, that is."

"What are you even implying-

"I'm worried you'll hurt him emotionally, break the kid's heart."

Gavin smirked.

"At this rate, he'll break mine."

"Bullshit." He scoffed, filling his cup with beer, then leaning the bottle against Gavin's cup.

"No thanks, I'm driving."

"Auto?"

"Yup."

"Who is she?"

"Just a Honda Civic, since 2020. I'm too used to it to switch."

"Real cars are a rarity, good job on that."

"Hank, you don't get this."

He sighed.

"Oh?"

"It's like... As gay as this sounds-

"You're gay."

"Thanks, I hadn't fucking noticed."

He chuckled, so did Hank, but it didn't really switch the tension in the room at all.

"Anyway, I was saying, I'm different with him. I'm me around him, I swear, if anything, I do my best to protect him from ever getting hurt-

"Yeeeah, I'd argue on that.."

"For fuck's sake Hank, I feel guilty enough as it is, can you stop mentioning that?"

"I didn't mention anything, it's your guilty conscience."

"You're interrogating me, aren't you."

"Maybe?"

"I hate you a lot, Anderson."

"Right. Go on."

"Trust me, I know the emotional pain he's going through, I'm assuming, better than you."

"Yeah, you're assuming right. I wouldn't have an idea."

"You gotta trust me, man. I really do care a lot."

"You're infatuated, Gavin. And so is he. And now that's a dangerous dynamic."

"I- not-, it's not like that."

"Walls have eyes, especially the glass walls of DPD."

"Oh shit.."

"Yup. What if someone in the department, other than me, decided they now wanna double in paparazzi-.. Uh, paparazziying?"

"Fuck..."

"So you better stop bullshitting me, son. I have your best interest in mind, trust me, honesty's gonna get you a long way."

"You really are interrogating me, huh?"

"Don't switch the topic."

"It's not as simple as that."

"Exactly. You wouldn't even call it infatuation, but he's seconds away from calling it love."

"Love-

"See? You don't love him, Gavin. To you, this is casual, to him, it's all a big deal. I'm not saying you're wrong for not taking it seriously, or that you're bad, evil, malicious in any way, I know you're not. But he's a kid, really. He looks like an adult, I mean, he is an adult, he's smarter than all of us humans combined, but his soul's too young and naive to even imagine casualty."

"Yeah.."

"So Gavin, I can't have you breaking that kid's heart, leading him on, playing games, especially not now, not like he doesn't have enough to deal with."

Gavin sat in silence.

Was he using him?

Leading him on?

Playing games?

Was he just being a fuckboy again?

No, he couldn't be. All he'd done was kiss him twice, just twice, and it wasn't even sexual, was it?

Fuck, it was, wasn't it.

"Gavin? Hey, kid, you zoned out there buddy?"

"I'm not using him, am I?"

"I didn't say that."

"I really care about him, I do."

"Wow there, you gonna start crying now?"

"You can't take him away from me, he's all I have, he's all I give half a fuck about, man, you can't fucking do tha-

"No one's taking anyone away from you."

"But you-

"I can't keep him locked up or fucking ground him. He's a legal adult, so all I can do, is talk. To you, to him. That's all."

"Talk?"

"Yes."

"So I can still see him?"

"Of course."

"Never thought I'd be asking permission from a dad to see his son at 36."

Hank brought his cup to his lips.

"Never thought I'd be asking this, but please don't fuck my son, Detective Reed."

"Never thought I'd be saying this, but let me figure my libido out myself, Lieutenant Anderson."

"Not on my watch."

"Ew, you scare me."

"Seriously though, let me figure this myself, mentally."

"Yeah, I'm just fucking around, you're allowed to-

"Yeah I think that's enough." he snickered, smiling again, this time it did change the aura.

"Me too."

"One last time, I never thought I'd be saying this, but thank you, Hank."

"You're welcome, Reed. I've no problem with you, except that you're confused, and that scares me."

"Me too."

"You're free, Detective."

Gavin nodded, still smiling, then got up, taking the plates and walking towards the skink.

"That doesn't mean I'm taking you in as a househusband son in law, Connor will take care of that."

"Abusing your android, huh?"

"He likes doing it."

"Weird."

"Yeah no shit, it's Connor you're talking about."

"Where are they, by the way?"

"The Zen Garden."

"Oh. Cool."

"You knew about the Zen Garden?"

"Yeah.."

'Elijah Kamski's my brother', he thought, smiling to himself, and didn't say a word.

"The 9PM rule stands."

"Oh come on."

"Till I deem you a solid motherfucker to be around."

"You think that if it comes down to it, I won't fuck him in the daylight."

"I'll shoot you in the balls."

Gavin burst into laughter, Hank joining him, the cup still in one hand.

It wasn't anything Hank Anderson thought he'd see again, Gavin Reed laughing, genuinely.

It reminded him of the young Detective that joined DPD, enthusiastic, passionate, his smile lighting up the room full of middle aged veterans and officers, hardened policemen, laughing as he made stupid Gen Z jokes that none of them ever really got, but just the way he made them was funny enough.

He was the life of DPD for a few years, and then something happened.

Hank wasn't ever sure as to what.

He just lost any spark.

He wondered if it was a particularly heavy case that got to him, or if it was something personal, but he never asked. Mostly because every time anyone approached the new Gavin, he'd just bark them away.

"Fuck off, I'm busy."

"Mind your own fucking business."

"You think you can just barge in here and interrogate me, Hank? Why is it you think you're better than everyone just because of your little fucking badge, huh, Lieutenant!?"

Hank did take it personally, but now looking at him tear up from laughter on his cabinet, he thought maybe it never was personal.

He was just fucked up.

Maybe Conan really did bring the old Gavin back.

__

Before leaving, Gavin peaked into Connor's room.

The RKs were on the floor, legs crossed, arm to arm, eyes closed tight.

They looked like Jedi, so concentrated, so calm.

He wondered about all the things they could be doing in the Zen Garden.

He thought of how beautiful his brother's mind was, to make such a thing as the Zen Garden.


	43. I Want My Mom

🖤💚

His brother's mind was beautiful.

It was also a mess.

Chloe picked him up from the CyberLife at 4 AM because he didn't bother checking the time.

Almost everyone at CyberLife was an android, so they worked 24 hours with shifts, and he didn't even notice when the day bled into night and when he fell asleep at his desk, Markus called Chloe.

"Yeah, we worked a lot, I guess-

"You didn't think that it's a bit too late?"

"He didn't tell me he was tired."

"He's a human, of course he was tired. You know how they are."

"I do, I'm sorry, I.. should've been more responsible."

"It's okay. I'll be there in 10. Did you-

"Yup, we have blankets here for exactly this reason."

Chloe snickered, "Good."

He woke up to her kiss on his neck, and the pain in his back hit him right away.

"Oh.. fuck.." he groaned, "I fell asleep?"

"What do you think?" her soft voice felt like warm air in a cold day, like it in and of itself embraced him into comfort, and in his dizzy mind, he wanted to cry because of how beautiful she was.

"Ugh, do I have to walk downstairs?"

"I'm not gonna carry you, Elijah. Get your ass up, take that blanket with you too, your coat's in the reception, I don't want you to get the cold." Chloe answered, cupping his face in one hand.

They walked down the long halls and the view from the elevator seemed like a movie scene to him now, just like it did all those years ago when he used to stay in the tower for days on end, working, sleeping there, then working more.

The lights only made him more tired. The world felt surreal.

He fell asleep in the car again, which he then thought was a very bad executive decision, as the snowflakes felt like tiny knives stabbing into his face when he stepped out.

Chloe walked him to the bedroom, holding his hand through the hallway.

It was in small things like holding hands every blue moon, or the small kisses when passing by each other, the shoulder squeezes and the warmth in hugs, that kept the love from 6 years ago as alive as it was. And holding her hand felt safe, like the whole trial didn't exist, like the rest of the world wasn't burning his creations alive, like people didn't hate him.

It felt like all of those things were gone in those short moments in the dark on 5 AM, where his mind was half awake, half asleep, he felt like a child being led to his room, undressed and put to sleep.

He remembered, hastily, the time his father carried him from the car to his bed and took off his shoes, the way Chloe was doing right now. How soft his mother's voice was when she whispered 'good night, monkeys', his mother.

"I want my mother."

"Are you high or something?"

"I'm serious Chloe, I-" he took her arm as she pulled his night shirt down his chest, and stared into her eyes.

She could see tears forming in his eyes, as the blue orbs seemed to flicker,

"-I want my mom. And even my dad, and my dog, and my brother, and my house, and my room, and my chewed up toys and the blue curtains and all-  
"Shhh, you're tired." she pressed his head to her shoulder, and held his trembling body.

"You'll never leave, right?"

She thought about it for a second.

The life outside was nice.

The trees and the birds, and the androids that worshipped her, but she didn't see any of that without him by her side.

And so she smiled, whispering "Never."

__

Later that morning...

"Elijah, hey

I'm sorry I didn't answer.

I'm really sorry.

Life's been sucking ass lately. You won't believe the shit that happened.

I just didn't have the time to text you, I know it's shitty of me to just leave you on read like that.

Why the fuck is temporary shut down a thing?

We have court tomorrow, I'll see you in the end, maybe we should go out from there?

But if it's okay with you, can Chloe please not come? Not because I hate her, I know you think I hate her, but I don't. But because I just want it to be us? Does that make sense? I mean, you get it.

Thanks."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it.

Last time was 10 years ago so lol, it's fine.

Gav, I was thinking.. How's mom?

I missed her."

"She misses you too.

We'll talk about it tomorrow tho."

"Can I see her? Does she hate me?"

"You're talking about Martha Eli, she loves you more than she loves herself.

How can she ever hate you, you dumbass?"

"Gavin"

"Elijah"

"I love you."

"Ew, that's so incest."

"You haven't fucking changed in the slightest."

"I love you too."

"That's the best two sentences I've read in the last decade."

"Same.

Hey listen, about the court..

You think there's any way those fuckers could get out?"

"No fucking way. We've got too much evidence."

"We've got more than you think."

"More than I think? Is it anything you can type out?"

"Afraid not.

I'm in touch with the FBI right now, meeting in 30 minutes.

That's how big this is."

"Holy fuck.

Is Conan okay?"

"I think so, yeah.

He's been strong."

"He has."

"He's amazing.

Really, tell you what? I've never seen anyone handle this shit as good as he has."

"I have."

"Heh

Gtg

Fowler wants a meeting

Pray for me."

"God's dead."

"Aren't you the new one?"

"Oh majestic Elijah Kamski, praise your will upon your brother so that thy meeting with thy commander will be blissful and holy, in your name."

"Thanks."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

[12:13 PM, Sent from IPhone XXX2]


	44. Make 'Em Pay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the chapter : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqOy3yX6KQI

💙💚

"If we're going to tackle this, we'll need units in every state, Agent Perkins."

"I'm aware, I'm aware.. Oh, Reed, finally."

Gavin stood in the room with a big table in the middle, Conan on one end of it, Agent Perkins on the other.

Hank looked like he could bite a brick.

"Yeah, sorry, am I late or something?"

"No, Detective. This is your case, lead it."

"My case? Since when?"

"Since yesterday?"

Gavin looked at Conan, who looked down the second their eyes met.

Then it all made sense.

Perkins didn't like androids. His hatred wasn't personal like Hank's and his own, his was on a professional level, and he decided that it was Gavin's case, without even considering assigning it to Conan.

He'd lost to an android the last time, he didn't want to do it again.

Fucking cunt.

"It's not my case, it's Detective Anderson's case, and he'll lead the investigation."

"Gavin, I'm-

"He doesn't have any experience, Detective, how are we supposed to collaborate with him? You can't just get off the case like-

"I'm not getting off of it. I'm on it. With Conan. He'll lead it, this is his investigation, and your little FBI preppy ass isn't taking it away from him."

"Got 'em.." Hank whispered, looking down.

"Excuse me, Detective Reed, we aren't interesting in leading a fucking FBI investigation with an inexperienced android Detective that can't even keep himself safe-

"I will fucking wipe the floor with your face if you even-

"Gavin, stop." Fowler stood up, causing Gavin to roll his eyes, crossing his arms in front of him, " Agent Perkins is here to take the investigation off of DPD, he needs only one Detective to help them get ahold of the information we already have. That's already more than they're usually willing to do when cooperating with the police, pay respect to that, you fucking brat." He stopped, visibly trying to gain control of himself, "They decided it's you-"

"I don't fucking have any information, Conan has their names, their adresses and all of their fucking criminal histroy, including all the evidence they'd need to tackle every single one of those fuckers down, what do I have to offer them?"

"I only work with fucking humans, Reed. Although I'm not sure if you qualify."

"Remember when I beat your ass in the hallway?" Hank cocked his head to the side, standing up. "We're a team here in DPD. Don't fuck with us, you little rat."

"IS THIS A FUCKING SCHOOL LUNCHROOM DRAMA?!" Fowler screamed, slamming his fists against the table, "YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO GET PERKINS TO EVEN COME HERE?!"

"It- It shouldn't have been a fucking question. This is my case, huh, Fowler? Ya know the fuck what? I want him off it. There's a shit ton of other Special Agents, this one's anti android, on a mission to save androids? Am I the only one who sees the problem here? This isn't just a legal matter. This is a sensitive issue, this can't be handled sloppily. Get me a fucking unbiased SA, and I'll think about leading the fucking investigation."

"Yeah damn right. It's not like I woke up this morning dreaming of helping a fucking plastic Detective and his boyfriend arrest humans because our president fucking decided androids have right. Fuck all of you, I'm out."

"Agent-"

"Fuck off, Fowler." Perkins barked, before stopping next to Conan's seat, "I wish he'd went through with it, so you wouldn't be this entitled and knew your fucking place, plastic cunt."

Then his face met the floor, and Gavin's fist met his face.

It wasn't like he controlled it really, but he felt like his head would explode if he didn't throw a punch or two.

Thank god someone pulled him off of Perkins before he could draw blood.

And when Fowler dragged Gavin to his room and read him a lecture, he didn't hear a word. Just the endless buzzing in his head, the pressing feeling in his chest and the itch to scream, and to punch, and to break.

"DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHO YOU'RE EVEN TALKING TO?!"

'A pig?' he thought, but didn't answer anything.

"THIS IS GOING INTO YOUR DISCIPLINARY RECORD, REED, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME FIRE YOU SOMEDAY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

"I am."

"YOU'RE A SHAME TO THIS DEPARTMENT, HANK, NOW YOU?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

"Get me a new Agent."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"It's an ongoing investigation. Get me a new FBI agent. If you don't, you'll be the one breaking the law. So fucking find a new agent."

"You've lost your shit, Reed." the sweat was dripping off of his forehead, and it looked like the collar of his shirt was going to explode with every heavy breath Fowler took.

"Yeah, but I need a proper team that can take care of this."

"Agent.. Fuck me, Agent Barbara Folk will lead the investigation. She was there, in the room. Thank god she has a heart. If I were her, I'd keep my ass as far away from yours."

"Did you hear what he said?"

"He's an ass, is that new to you?"

"You expected me to just let him say that to Conan?"

"I know you love him, okay, but this isn't about you being a good boyfriend, this is about you being a good Detective."

"I don't fucking.. This isn't about that, this is human dignity."

"Sure."

"Are you going to call me too emotional to operate too?"

"Yes, quite frankly."

"If someone almost raped someone you really care about, then a tiny fucking rat told that person they wished they 'went through with it', I assure you, you'd break their face."

"I sure as hell would love to, but I wouldn't."

"It's easier to say than do, trust me."

"I know you're good, but please, Reed, keep your shit together."

"I can't. Not with him, not like that."

"Barbara will see you outside. Don't beat her up."

He stomped out of the office, and the woman he hadn't noticed in the room stuck out like a sore thumb to him now.

"Detective Reed, it's nice to meet you in a more... one on one fashion." she extended her hand to him, smiling.

She had long brown hair, curled to one side, and he could see that it was dyed from the blonde roots. He'd never seen a blonde going brunette. Weird.

"It's nice to meet you outside of that cunt's presence, miss.", he smiled, trying to switch his mind away from Perkins and the rage he felt while smashing his face, but when he shook her hand, she pulled hers away from his the second she pressed it.

Staring at it, she looked back up at him, and giggled, slightly worried but yet amused. Weird 2.0.

"You're bleeding, Detective!"

"Perkins has a hard nose."

The woman burst into laughter, wiping Gavin's blood off her hand on her pencil skirt.

"Oh man, I've been wishing to break his face since 2025!"

"We have a lot in common then, Agent."

"Lord, those anti androids.. I don't get it!"

"I mean, I get it, but it ain't right. Not after the revolution. Some people have thick skulls I guess, good thing I can always try to break them."

She giggled again, smiling through her words, "I'd love to have both you and Detective Anderson help us investigate the case, if that's okay with you."

"Absolutely is. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to lead it, but it's Conan's case. It's his. I don't know how to explain it, but it's his."

"I know it is. Which is why I'm planning to closely cooperate with him on this."

"He should lead the investigation."

"It's an FBI investigation, both of you can only cooperate. Must, actually, cooperate."

"Or..?"

"Or I'll arrest y'all, but I don't feel like there's no need. Do I feel right, Detective?"

"Absolutely."

"Where's Detective Anderson?" She cocked her head to the side, revealing a huge scar.

Gavin would've asked where the fuck it came from, but before he could speak, the questions everyone threw at him about his scars flashed before him.

Not asking jack shit was the nicest thing to do when you see a huge scar across someone's throat.

"I.. don't know, let me call him."

She nodded.

The phone beeped once before Conan's voice spoke.

"I'm in the back."

"Why?"

"Connor's showing me how to organize evidence, wanna come?"

"No- Conan, get your ass-" He paused, seeing Barbara raise her eyebrows and chuckle, "come here."

"Come where?"

"Meet me at my desk, okay?"

"I'll be there in-

"Right now."

"What the fuck is up with you today?"

"Our new FBI agent is waiting for you."

"OH SHIT!"

"Right. C'mere."

"I'm running!"

He smiled at his childish excitement. How did he overlook the fact that Gavin had just tackled Perkins for him? Was it just normalcy to him?

Why wouldn't it be.

'I'd kill for him and fucker knows it', he thought, still smiling.

"Your desk?"

"What?"

Barbara rocked back and forth on her heels, pointing at the desks behind them, "You told him to meet us at your desk, we're not at your desk, even."

"Oh shit, right. My desk." He said, walking past her and towards the mess with 'DET. REED' stuck on it

"When am I gonna get a desk?" Conan's lively voice spoke from behind them. "It's a pleasure to meet you..." he scanned her face, identifying her as Barbara Folk, ".. Agent Folk."

"It's nice to meet you too, Detective."

Detective.

Everyone called him detective today, and he felt like jumping around the Department, screaming, 'I'M DETECTIVE ANDERSON'.

Detective Anderson.

They spent the whole shift in the evidence room, Conan and Barbara going on about the different units needed, and Gavin just mostly staring at them. They looked like a set of detectives from a mystery movie, but modernised.

Conan could touch the screen, and it'd glow with new information, faces, data.

He looked.. Right. Like he belonged in that room, pulling new evidence and analysing people.

Gavin wanted to hate him.

He wanted to feel angry that he could do all of this so perfectly, having lived a month or so, but it took Gavin 6 years to learn to do it, a fraction of it all.

But he couldn't help but feel ecstatically happy for him.

"Don't you want to help us, Detective?" Barbara spoke, not turning away from the electronic evidence board in front of her.

"You two seem to be doing just fine to me."

"Well, you could help us decide a thing here."

"A thing?"

"We know there are more identified perpetrators in Florida, but the ones in Boston are way more active in uploads, to this day. If we send units to Florida first, we'd get more of them, if we send them to Boston, the flow of the content would decrease so rapidly that the rest would surely notice and maybe even flee. That'd leave us with a lot of potential offenders roaming free. And Conan over here-"

"And I wanted to disable the sites all together." Conan interrupted her, walking over to Gavin. "I know it's a dilemma, which is why I need your point of view in this."

"As if I'm the best moral character in town? Please, I tried to break Perkin's nose back there."

"Exactly. An amazing choice. I wish I'd done that the second he stopped next to me. Fucking pig-

"Both of you are getting off topic, boys."

'I like this girl.' Gavin thought, looking at her waving around her stylus on the desk, circling shit around, while still somehow keeping the dominance in the room on herself with small comments.

"Sorry." Conan answered, then turned back to Gavin, "You see, two out of the 7 different websites have a policy, well, rule system. Much like TLZ."

"The Love Zone?"

"Yes."

"Fucking disgusting. So in order for them to have access to any video material, they must contribute?"

"Yup."

"And if you let the site run, they'd keep offending while we track them down, hurting more androids as a result?"

"You're reading my mind. And if I shut it down, imagine how many more possible 'contributors' could get away with it?"

"Where are those sites?"

"Dark Web, Onion, why?"

"Nevermind."

"Dilemma." Barbara whispered, putting down her stylus and walking towards to two men, "I don't see how this could be a dilemma. If we keep the site operating and keep the user count static by replacing the offenders we arrest with bots-

"Those bots would need to upload content."

"Old content from the old sites we take down, the other 5, would do."

"Except it wouldn't." Conan pointed out, "They're not stupid. They check. They demand new content. If we let it operate, we're letting them hurt more androids. I saw we raid them, pull every single one out, AFTER shutting down the sites."

"What if they flee?"

"How far can they really flee with the FBI on their tail?"

"Conan's right."

"Oh boo hoo." Barbara exclaimed, crossing her arms in front of her. "Either way, we're letting down at least 10% of the possible arrest counts."

"I'd rather them not upload while we walk around living our lives, letting them rape innocent people."

"Conan's right, again."

"You're just on his side at all cost, Gavin. Think about it. We need to arrest as many as we possibly can-

"I feel like we need to save as many as we can." Conan interrupted her again, causing her to sigh.

"It's a hard decision, Agent, but-

"Please, call me Barbara, Barb, whatever you want. Just not fucking Agent."

"Oof, okay, Barb." Conan sassed back.

Who was she even? He could do her job in a heartbeat, but someone, they needed her for her badge. Fucking hell.

"Concentrate."

"I'm well fucking concentrated, and I stated my stance. I want those sites shut down."

"Did you know that Kane was on that site?"

"Yeah, that's how I found the sites."

"Did you know that you were going to be on there?"

"What?"

"Here," she swiped up her phone and a galagram opened in front of them.

Texts flashed in front of them, and Gavin came closer, his eyes concentrating on the light.

"The blue's Kane, the white's a certain someone called 'Bishop'. We know where he lives, you don't need to worry. He's miles away."

Conan's heart sank as he read the exchange.

'K- Want some good fuckin news bish?

B- The fuck is up, cop.

K- The Android Jesus called yesterday.

B- Markus?

K- Yup.

B- Holy hell, Andy, you got Markus? Folks are gonna eat that shit up!

K- Tf do you think I am? No.

B- Fuck. That's no good. It's hot.

K- I know. But you better see what it gave me.

B- Stop beating around the bush, Andy. What is it?

K- RK900.

B- Wow, the fuck is that? Never heard of it.

K- Something new. Something hot and fresh, never seen before, man. It sent me info, asked if I wanna have him round the office, detective prototype or something.

B- Holy fuck.

K- I said yes so fast man. It's gonna be in tomorrow. I'll get my hands on it as soon as it's here.

B- Male? Female?

K- Male, pretty blue eyes, tall, white, he's perfect. Doll.

B- It**

K- IT'S perfect. Mods will love it.

B- Hell yeah.'

"Conan..?"

"I don't feel good. I'm sorry, I-

"Conan, hey, look at me." Gavin said, grabbing his shoulder. "Breathe, okay?"

Conan didn't really think breathing could help. His heart burned again, the way they spoke about him.

'It's perfect.'

'Fresh.'

'Doll.'

"Conan, he didn't get to do it. He wanted to, though. And if we shut down these sites, people who haven't gotten to do it, but wanted to, will just get away."

"No except he fucking did. He fucking did." His voice cracked with anger and disgust, his breaths getting faster and sharper.

"It's okay, it's all gone-

"It's not fucking gone, Gavin. It's right there. Excuse me." He pushed Gavin's arm off of him, speedwalking towards the door, covering his face with one hand.

"Why the fuck would you show him that shit?"

"I was making a point, and plus, it's good evidence for your case."

"Are all fucking Special Agents assholes?" Gavin hissed, turning away from Barbara and walking after Conan.

As the door closed behind him, he looked around.

'Where the fuck is he?'

The bathroom made sense, and sure enough, he was there, locked in a stall. He knew he was, by the soft sniffs coming from the very last one.

"Come on, get out of there."

Silence.

For a second, the thought that it wasn't Conan, maybe it was someone who came to DPD to tell someone something tragic, and now here he was, telling them to get out of there.

"No."

Nope.

Conan. It was Conan.

"Hey, I know. I know, it feels like a slap in the face-

"More like a kick in the balls, if you ask me."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah-

"No you don't. I'm like an object. We're all like objects. They called me 'it', they called me 'something', we're all things and fucking, bragging points, oh, 'pretty blue eyes', what will the guys thing of this new trophy I fucking found," he kicked the stall door, "I fucking HATE them, I HATE THEM!"

"Me too, me too. And I promise you, we'll lock every single one of those motherfuckers up."

"Oh yeah? And what's that gonna do? Give them, what, 15 years in jail? And us, a lifetime of fucking pain? It's not fair, it's not fucking fair, it's not!

"Nothing's ever fair, but jail is fucking hell, trust me, I've worked with men who were fucked there, it's not fun. I'm not saying they deserved it, no one deserves it, ever. But it's a thing, and if that makes you feel better, they'd-

"It doesn't. It really fucking doesn't. I want them 6 feet under, Gavin, I want them dead. I'd kill them with my own two hands if I could."

"Don't you ever try to do that. Ever, you hear me?" he knocked on the stall door, hearing him sigh, "Don't ever say that shit in public, Conan. Your stupidity can ruin our case. And I'm dead set on that 15 year sentence."

"Maximum's life, you know?"

"I do."

"I want that."

"Don't shoot too high, buddy."

"I'm not."

"Even pedos don't get life most of the time, Conan. Get out of there, let's go talk to Barb."

"Fuck Barb."

"No, she gave us some good fucking evidence of premeditation, and I know she hurt you, but it wasn't her intention."

"She's a bitch anyway."

"Conan, don't judge people before you know them. If I'd done that, I would've shot both you and Connor on sight."

"Fuck you." he chuckled.

Gavin smiled with relief, leaning against the wall next to the stall.

"So you comin' out?"

"Haven't I?"

"What?"

"Just so you know, I'm pretty gay."

"God, Conan, get the fuck out of there, you dumb little bitch."

"Alright."

The door creaked open, then the tall figure walked out of it and past Gavin, staring at the mirror in front of himself.

"Do I look real to you?"

"What?"

"Real, like a real human?"

"You're losing it, Conan. Come on, let's go."

"No, but for real."

"Yes, of course you do, the fuck?"

"Do I look like, I don't know, uncanny?"

"Not in the slightest, you look perfect."

"Yes, exactly. Exactly."

"Not in a bad way, come on, stop with the mental gymnastics. You look like every other human, you're human, but not really."

"I'm human?"

"You're way more than human."

Conan smiled at his reflection, watching it smile back. He wanted to see what Gavin saw. But all he saw was an object.

"Thanks."

"Always. Now, wanna go make 'em pay?"

"Make 'em pay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note : ..longest... chapter ..... ever!! But hey, the song I included suits it sooo well. I listened to it while writing this so yeah. Hope you liked this heavy chapter and the song! 
> 
> Love, Sona ~


	45. You're The Good Thing

🖤💚(💙)

Conan kinda hated the fact that the court felt familiar. Casual.

Hearing the opening, seeing Raspberry smile, Watts scoff, all of it, familiar, unpleasantly ordinary.

The testimonies were something new though.

He didn't know why they allowed so many people to testify, but at that point, making sense of the trials was harder than helping lead an FBI investigation.

But the way North adjusted the microphone alone made the whole room freeze.

She was steady, full of rage that felt heavy on everyone's shoulders but hers. She looked free.

Unlike Conan.

And so when she spoke, he felt his heart speed up with every word.

"You reduced me to an object, you didn't know my rage."

"You saw my LED and wanted to buy me."

"You took me home like groceries."

"I lost count of my own worth, but I'm not going to let you hurt the rest of us. It's over. It's a different time now. I'm as worthy as any other living being, you can't tell me what to do with my body. It's mine, for 30 minutes, for an hour, for a week, a year, an eternity. It's mine. My heart rests in it. Not yours. Let it be."

The uncomfortable silence after her, and after the rest of the Tracies spilled their souls onto the stand was proof of the undecidedness in the jury.

A few old ladies snarked when a Traci called herself 'as much a woman as any other woman', one man chuckled when another one said he wanted to be a writer, make people feel things through his words, not his body. But those people were met by the darted glances of their fellowed jurors, and that gave Conan some peace.

Nothing other than the testimonies were discussed in court that day, and it was decided to review the new evidence on the next date.

"I'd like to add that around 21400 predators have been identified, thanks to the defendant and his contacts, your honor."

"Good things come out of every tragedy, I suppose. Thank you, Attorney Raspberry."

"Sure do, your Honor."

Conan looked over his shoulder, to see Gavin already looking at him.

He didn't need to speak. Neither one of them needed to, in order to say what both of them meant.

'You're the good thing'

\--

They were the good things to each other. They did hold each other afloat, in a sense.

But the good things didn't end there for Gavin.

The other good thing, he smiled at him too, as he turned to see his brother, his long braid laying on one shoulder.

How did he get this weird.

'How did I get so weird?'

After the court date, Conan waved goodbye at him, he waved back with a smile, watching him leave with Hank, Connor and Markus. Markus?

Huh.

As the thought rose, a skinny finger tapped at his shoulder, and his body twitched at the unpleasant feeling.

"Who the fu- Barbara?"

"Hey. You really didn't see me in here or are you ignoring me?"

"Ignoring you- You're an FBI agent, not my ex best friend, what do you think are we? A squad of besties or something?"

"Jesus, chill. I don't know, I fucked up the other day."

"It's alright. It's whatever. Work's more important."

"I was thinking, maybe we could go get coffee?"

"Coffee?"

"Yes. Discuss the case."

"Without Conan?"

"I don't want to trigger him further into the void of unresponsiveness."

"You're making it worse."

"I'm fucking joking."

"Can't."

"Why? Come on, work's important, right?"

"Sure." He rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat towards the walk. He noticed Elijah was one of the last people in the court room, and he looked not-so-happy to be there.

"Barbara, stop fucking around, okay?"

"You're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, we're not friends, we're work partners, on this specific case, I can't be fucking mad at you. I gotta go."

"I have shit to tell you, you in specific."

"Some other time, can't do today."

"Why?"

"Listen, I'd love to, okay? But I'm all booked for today."

"May I ask whom by?"

Gavin pointed at Elijah, who pointed at himself too, with a confused face, his thin brows pressed together, hand in the air, the universal sign of 'what the fuck is happening and who is that?'. Or maybe just the Gavin and Elijah sign of 'what the fuck is happening and who is that?'.

"Elijah fucking Kamski?"

"Yup, that prick."

"I kinda shipped you and Conan, honestly."

"What the fuck-

"Sorry? You're cute together-

"No, not that. Elijah's my brother."

She squinted her eyes at him, a tame but doubtful smile slowly forming on her face.

Gavin chuckled at this, gesturing for Elijah to come over.

"I'm not buying this. Are you like, cheating on Conan, want me to tell him he's your brother? He'll find out."

"I'm his brother." Elijah sighed, sitting on the empty seat next to Gavin.

"Proof."

"Google 'Elijah Reed'. It's not that unknown, if you try to remember 2026, I was Elijah Reed."

"Yeah, I remember that. Oh shit."

"Come on Barb, use that FBI brain of yours." Gavin said, tapping the side of his head.

"Now suddenly we're friends, huh?"

"Maybe."

"I'm glad to meet you, Barbara." Elijah smiled, the plastic smile.

The 'I'm Elijah Kamski, but I'm being nice to you' smile.

He extended his hand, and hers seemed to shake a little as she took it  
He extended his hand, and hers seemed to shake a little as she took it.

"I'm sure I'm gladder- What even- Sorry, my brain stopped working."

"Yeah, it's processing a lot, isn't it. Human minds are much like computers, machines. Yours'll probably overheat if you stick around longer." He said, still shaking her hand, as his smile pressed tighter, turning into a real one.

"That- Was that an Elijah Kamski way of telling me to fuck off?"

"Kind of, but more polite." He shook his head, looked at Gavin, and, struggling to hold back his laugh, pulled his hand away from her.

"Pfft, alright. I'll leave y'all alone, but Gavin, you're not off the hook."

"I'm not the rapist around here."

"Fuck off." She stood up, turned to face them, and squeezed her way out of the tightly alligned seats.

Elijah tried his best not to look her her breasts as they went directly past his face, what was the matter with this woman?

"Did she just do that on purpose?"

He whispered, as her heels clicked further and further away from them.

"Do what on purpose?"

"Boobs in my face, that."

"Tone down your ego, she had to get out somehow."

"She could've turned around."

"You'd say she shoved her ass on your dick if she did that."

"You have a point."

"You're a celebrity, sir. She's starstruck and probably flustered too. Might've been on purpose."

"Welp. I'm a trapped motherfucker anyway."

"Trapped, right. In a mansion with a hot wife that never gets old."

"A flower that never will never wither."

"That's so gross, fuckin, Shakespear."

"I told that to Connor, he'd shit his pants if he could."

"And that's gross too, ah, Elijah back in my life."

He giggled.

Fuckin hell, that stupid ass giggle.

"They piss tho."

"I feel like you've said that before, don't remember when or where though.

"Eh. Might've."

"So, we gonna have the mental breakdowns in the court room or should we maybe leave?"

Elijah smiled.

The walk of fame was short this time. It's was almost like the crowd didn't know what to think, or take pictures of. What, the detective and the god, no noteworthy scenarios really came to mind.

They'd figure it out soon enough. Both of them knew, didn't say it, but knew.

Their big secret was going to be finally open. By just walking out together, they opened up a gate that they'd never be able to close. And it was fine.

"Where are we going?"

"The house south of Jefferson Chalmers."

"What? Why?"

"Chloe took over my main house for today, that's the deal. I go to Jefferson, she has a girls daty in-

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why not just go out and get coffee?"

"I can't exactly go out for a coffee in public, Gav. Is your brain overheating too?" Elijah smiled, as the big black autonomous car approached the street.

"Why- Oh right, celebrity." Gavin pointed at the crown behind them with a thumb, not turning around to face it. "Gross."

"It is gross, you're right."

"How do you live like this?" Gavin said, watching the door click open.

"I don't."

"You don't?"

"Leave the house. I don't leave the house."

"That's sad."

"Do you?"

"I mean, I babysit Conan nowadays."

Elijag gave him a 'the fuck' look before getting into the car.

"We go out, I mean. I take him places. Used to, anyway. Hank's protective, ya know."

"Oh, I know. 'Come on Connor, let's go Connor, leave him alone Mr Kamski, I think we're done here, Mr Kamski'."

"Oof damn, you're mad."

"I'm- A little, yeah. I was fuckin experimenting, but it was sorta cute, how he protected him."

"From what?"

"Me? I guess?"

"Pft, you're not one bit threatening."

"To you."

"Stop it, you have a fucking braid."

"Fuck off, my braids are art."

"I digress."

"I can be intimidating, and you know it."

"What did you do, anyway?"

"Oh, tried to make Connor disobey a human, not shoot the Chloe model I asked him to shoot."

"Yo what the fuck?"

"See? Intimidating, ey?"

"More like slightly sociopathic, but alright."

"My mom's a sociopath, maybe I got it from her."

Silence.

'His mother.'

'HIS mother. Not our mother.'

"You're not a sociopath."

"I know."

"I mean, I punched Connor in the gut for disobeying a human once, maybe I'm a sociopath."

"Are you trying to lighten the mood?"

"Yup. Got me."

"Don't. We need to talk this out."

"Talk what out? That you made Connor almost shoot an android identical to your wife for shit's a giggles? I'm used to it, it's fine." Gavin tried to giggle.

"Gavin."

Gavin let out a small sigh, leaning on the car's wall.

Wall, because it was so large in the back, it felt like a room.

He wouldn't mind it if this was the car him and Elijah had to live in back in 2021.

"Okay. Talk."

"You talk."

"No, it's not like I have anything to say."

"How's mom?"

"In California."

"Solid answer. How's dad?"

"Here."

"Why?"

"He stalks us. I ignore him."

"You actually might be a sociopath."

"Fuck off, Elijah. He ruined my life."

"Yeah. He did. He also made our lives. If he wasn't a fucking cunt, I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't exist, really."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So..?"

"She's a sociopath, like I said."

"Why? Details."

"Well, what did mom tell you?"

"Nothing. Not a thing. She doesn't talk about it. Ever. And if she does, it's just you, and then she cries."

"Fucking hell.."

"I did research though. I'm a detective, after all."

"And?"

"She was deported after she let mom take custody of you, back to Poland."

"Right, but that's not the just of things."

"What do you mean?"

"That's not the point. What else did you find?"

"Well, Nadia Kamska, born 1985, to Zayna and Niko Kamski, lived in Poland most of her life, except two years on a student exchange program, which she spent in America. Art student, finished highschool in 2000, got into CalArts, creative writing. Smart kid, by everyone's records. I called around, you know. Her prof said she was great. Her english was fluent. Her grades were high. Then she got pregnant, stopped going to school, dropped out. Had a kid, disappeared."

"Yeah, you did your fucking homework. How do you remember this shit by heart?"

"Because my best friend left me for her, and I read this over and over again, trying to see why."

"None of this is why I left. Why I left is because I felt betrayed. I felt useless. I felt out of place, and foreign. I felt the same with her. She's not my mom. She's my biological mother, sure. She also had me just so she could get a citizenship. I'm just a pond in her game. I was a pond in her game when I went to Poland too. She just used me as much as she could, and when she had nothing else to get from me, just tossed me out. That's how sociopaths do it."

"Fuck."

"I'm not saying this shit so you'd feel bad for me. I'm the bad guy, anyway. Mom never deserved this shit. She's the best human being that I know. That anyone knows. She didn't have to take me. She could've just said 'fuck this shit, I'm out.', but she didn't. She did what a mother is supposed to do. I didn't do what a son is supposed to do."

"Our lives are beyond 'supposed to's, Eli."

"Yeah, but I'm still fucked up for ever leaving her like that."

"I'm not saying you're not. You are. You really are."

"Thanks."

"You are."

"I know."

"I still love you though. So does mom. Dad too. Too much, at times. More than you deserve."

"I love you too, all of you."

"Yeah, it showed. In a form of 2 million on mom's bank account one random fucking morning."

"Sorry."

"She donated it all. I don't know where. Couldn't you at least aim for a birthday?"

"Sorry x2."

"She still makes art. Most of them are still us. Not literally, well, you know."

He did know.

She painted abstract, surrealism, sometimes.

Figures, shapes, two all the time, green and blue, twisting around each other, bleeding in and out of the edges of the canvas, hands, arms, connected. Each one different from the last.

In the last 10 years, the colors were becoming more and more distant.

Only Gavin noticed, that in his mother's silence, she painted the reality in shapes that didn't exist. Space between the green and blue, full of darkness.

It was closing in now. It was like her hand, now, her skilled hand, was smearing the green and the blue across the rough surface with her piece of metal, he didn't know the name of. Smudging them together. One in the same.

The same.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know. It's okay. It's okay, I'm sorry too."

"You shouldn't be."

"I didn't try hard enough."

"You shouldn't have had to try, at all."

"I should've. Worth it."

"I love you."

"I know."

"Fuck you."

"Sweet home Alaba- Holy shit, are you crying?"

"A bit, it's okay. Not sad tears. Happy tears. Happy-

His brother leaped over and wrapped his arms around his neck.

The feeling of his jaw on his shoulder, that pressing way that always hurt, but he never said a thing. He never thought the waterwork would go off at this. Tears seemed to just pour out of him.

"I don't wanna cry-

"I know, Eli, I know."

"Fuckin', fuckin' hell, why am I crying?"

"I don't know, Eli, I don't know."

"I'm disgusting."

"No, no you're not."

"No, I mean, phys-fucking-physically-" He sucked in snot, "See? Fuckin', fuckin' gross."

"It's okay, you can blow your nose into my shoulder, my bar is set low for you."

Eli's trembling voice giggled at this, and Gavin smiled, knowing the hysteria was coming to an end.

It felt good.

Not the fact that his shoulder was wet with snot and tears, but that he could use his skill of knowing what comes next.

The little things, the knowledge, almost, skill, that used to be used on a daily.

When Eli cried without wanting to cry, you had to make him laugh. That stopped it.

When Gavin cried without wanting to cry, you had to cry with him. That stopped it.

If Eli can't sleep, try to play cities with him. He knows too much, his brain tries too hard, it always does. That makes him fall asleep mid the word Ye-re-vaahhn...

If Gavin can't sleep, play Nirvana, acoustic covers. That makes him fall asleep mid the words 'let me take a ri-i-die'...

If you can't stop laughing, start pinching each other's pinkie. At first, it just gets funnier, but it's so stupid and kind of painful, that it's not funny for too long, so both Eli and Gavin will stop laughing soon after.

The list went on.

101, all the 'how to's, no one knew.

"I have questions." Gavin smiled, pulling away from his brother and seeing his red face.

"Of course you do." he sniffed, smiling back.

"How many Chloes do you fucking have?"

"Lol."

"For real!"

"Well, three other Chloe models, and Chloe."

"What- Why? Oh. OOOOOH! I see, I see."

"NO! NO, GOD NO, SHE'D COMMIT MASS GENOCIDE IF I EVEN TRIED!"

"What is it then?"

He told him.

He told him everything.

"Funny how I didn't ask if you're behind the revolution, I asked if you have fivesomes with clones of your wife, and you just dropped a whole ass fucking secret scheme on me. Love that."

"Well, I mean, it's all really connected."

"How is this your life?"

"Man, am I really surprised by any of it? Are you?"

"Not really. Anything can be expected from you, I sorta picked up on the fact that you were trying to make her emotional back then."

"You don't really like her, do you?"

"I mean.. I don't know anymore. I used to actively hate her, and her entire fucking race. Ya know, sorta stole my brother. His only family, right?"

"Don't start it again."

"Kidding, kidding. Anyway. Then Conan kinda happened."

"The fuck did that kid do to that made you change your entire world view?"

"I honestly have no idea. My guess is, he cried. But that doesn't really make sense. I don't know."

"You don't, huh."

"Don't. Eli, don't.

"I'm gonna."

"Please don't."

"Last time I saw you smile at anyone like that, honestly, was someone we don't talk about."

"Voldemort?"

"You never were and probably never will be funny, ya know?"

"I'm hilarious."

"Gavin, you can't switch a subject like this."

"Why does everyone catch me every time?!"

"You just don't do it gradually, I guess."

"Maybe." he paused, and Eli gave him another one of his looks with names. The 'come on' look. "I don't love him."

"Love is a big word, you know."

"I do."

"You go after the word, and it's scary, so you back off entirely."

"Stop being my therapist."

"You like him, a lot."

"For some reason, I think I do."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm not drunk enough."

"Okay, gotcha, we're home in 40 minutes. You won't escape me there."

"Now I'm scared."

"Relax, just gonna get you drunk enough to spill the beans."

"Alright."

"Deal?"

"Deal."


	46. The Risk of Oblivion

❤️💜  
💙❣️

"Your house is fucking huge." Ripple said, stepping out of the autonomous car and into the thick snow, her girlfriend following her right away.

"That's so rude.." Echo whispered, tugging at her sleeve, and Chloe wondered why one of them is so well mannered while the other just speaks her mind, even when she knows she shouldn't.

She smiled at the thought. Funny how she'd known them for around a month and loved every single one of them to the bottom of her hear.

"Meh, I spent most of my life in it, I'm used to it." Chloe shrugged, walking past them and towards the small bridge leading up to the doorway.

"How do you not get lost in here?" North asked, following her, gesturing for Kara, Ripple and Echo to follow her.

They looked like every high school girls friend group Chloe had seen in the thousands of movies she watched over the years, and she felt like she finally belonged in one.

Chloe thought she planned everything perfectly.

She had the house all cleaned up, the flowers all looked perfect, the thirium snacks were sorted by color in the glass shelves in her room, the drinks were stocked perfectly, the movies were all ready and waiting for them to pick one out of a thousand that hopefully wasn't already in their program.

She had overlooked one thing though, and it stared at her as she opened the door.

"Shit, shit," she whispered through her teeth, quickly turning around to see her friends walking towards her, "Go back to the Left fucking Wing, Bella, now."

The android looked somewhat confused, but obeyed her right away, hurrying out of the hallway. 

"Everything okay?" A voice asked from directly behind her, making her jump a little.

"Kara," she turned around, smiling, "Yeah, everything's fine, why?"

"You looked worried for a second there, are you sure you-

"Yes. Come on, make yourself at home." She said, leaning back into the door, stumbling in.

The girls went in one by one, looking around them, taking in the new environment.

"Narcissistic much?" North pointed a finger at the almost wall to wall portrait of her husband, framed in black agate, standing tall and proud.

Chloe felt her heart sink in a little. Second hand shame? Cringe?

'Fucking hell, Eli. Why'd you have to be this way?'

"Humans." Ripple chuckled, "They think they're so great."

"He's got a good excuse for being a narcissist. He is kind of great, if you think about it." Kara said, staring at the statues and tracing its side with her finger. "He made us."

"For what purpose? Sex toys?"

"Stop it, Ripple, really." Echo answered, louder this time. "Sorry, Chloe, she's kind of anti human, if you hadn't noticed."

"It's... it's okay, I guess."

"Let's just go inside before Chloe bashes your head in, Ripple." North giggled, turning away from the portrait, "Which door?" she said, still smirking, one finger pointing at the left door, the other at the right.

"RIGHT!" she exclaimed, regretting it immediately. "Right door."

"Damn, what's in the left one? Dead bodies or something?"

"No-"

"Bondage?" Echo chuckled.

"You- Yes. Bondage, exactly." Chloe mocked, pushing the right door, "You coming?"

__

"You coming?" Markus said, his voice almost echoing in the huge house.

The colors, the walls covered in paintings, the light illuminating through the windows in different angles, causing the whole interior to look more like art than the art on the walls, and in the middle of it all, the android meant to save the world, looking like he wasn't surrounded by sheer artistic anarchy, looking like he belonged in it. Like none of it was mind boggling.

The two brothers stared around them in awe. The walls, the animals, the paintings.

If Connor had something to compare this to, Kamski's house, maybe, mixed in with the church they settled in during the revolution, Conan on the other hand, he hadn't seen luxury like this. He hadn't seen houses with high ceilings, he hadn't seen real paintings. It was in times like those that his age truly hit him.

One month and 16 days.

"Sorry," Connor spoke, his voice tinted with awe, still, "It's just that we haven't experienced such.. Views."

"Ah, right, yeah, it's pretty awesome, dad is quite creative when it comes to his house."

Conan smiled, nodding, walking the giraffe that stood next to the gates.

His fingers gently touched the giraffe's coat, the rough surface foreign to him. He hadn't even thought of giraffes, of anything other than his day to day.

[Giraffe - The giraffe (Giraffa) is an African even-toed ungulate mammal, the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant. Population - 32000, conservation type -CE.]

"Is this.. Real?"

"Kind of?"

"Giraffes are endangered..." Conan said, slightly saddened by the fact. He didn't know animals could go extinct, he hadn't really thought about it. Extinct, for what? Decorations?

"I mean, Carl didn't kill it, or have it killed, it died in the zoo and they decided to gift it to him. So it was real, now it's dead."

"Why do humans keep dead things for decoration?"

"Sentimentalism, appreciation of nature, etc. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It is, I guess."

"Anyway, this is the studio.." Markus said, walking past him and towards the doors.

They opened as he walked towards them, and Conan looked at Connor.

'I wish we lived here.' his led blinked at his brother

'Don't be materialistic.' Connor smiled, following Markus outside.

As they stepped on the concrete, the curtains surrounding the studio slowly opened, revealing the cold light of the snow reflecting onto the glass around it.

"In hot weather, we have the glasses off, and it's so inspiring here. That painting," he pointed at the painting on the floor, leaning against the wall, "That's my first step towards deviation."

"That's.. Intriguing." Connor said, kneeling next to it. "Looks... frustrated?"

"Yeah, I kind of was frustrated."

"May I ask, what happened?"

"A lot of things.."

"Leo happened." A warm voice directed their attention to the doorway.

Simon stood there, leaning against the wood of the door that stood agape. Conan had seen him up close a total of two times, never really got to speak to him, and felt some sort of innate shame for it.

He was, after all, a part of the Jericho crew, and they were like the modern day Avengers, real life revolutionary heroes.

"Yeah, he was the tipping point." Markus nodded, smiling and walking towards him.

"You didn't tell me we had guests." Simon sort of half whispered half spoke, as Markus hugged him, kissing his cheek before wrapping his arms around him, "PDA much?"

"Can't exactly help it."

Connor felt like throwing himself out of the class and onto the snow, and drowning there, while Conan wanted to know how that felt. Being able to show how you feel so freely, openly, knowing you're loved at all times, just the warmth, all of it, fucking, all of it.

They spent the rest of the day talking, a lot, in almost every single room of the house.

Markus introduced them to Carl, who was by far the most interesting converser Conan had ever met. He could listen to him speak for hours.

"Conan!" he'd said mid sentence.

"Me?"

"How many Conans are in the room?"

"One- Yes?"

"Have you ever thought of yourself as a machine?"

"I.. Haven't really thought about that much, if I'm honest. I mean, people mention it, I mention it, I know it, but I haven't, like, actively thought about it."

"That's the new generation, see what I'm talking about, Markus?"

"Post Revolutionary free spirits." Markus smiled.

'Free spirits.. I wish.'

He hated thinking that. He was very much free, compared to the slavery most of the androids around him had gone through... Except..

Simon?

What was Simon's story?

He wanted to let his curiosity take control, but he couldn't find an appropriate time to properly question him about it. It's not like there weren't opportunities, it was more like every time the words 'What's your story?' formed in his head, his mouth wouldn't do it.

It sounded... oppressive, rude, intrusive.

Until the subject.

The subject.

"Man, love's fucking weird." Markus said, playing with his glass of thirium, sat across the large dining table.

It was 9PM, and Carl had already fallen asleep.

"I wouldn't say so," Simon's big eyes met his, and they both smiled.

"Really? I don't believe you."

"Really, yes, wasn't that weird at all."

"How'd you know it?" Conan spoke, interrupting their eye contact as both of them looked at him.

"I.." Simon looked at Markus, who nodded for him to speak first. "It's hard to explain the feeling, but you know it when it's there. It's like... that person's magnetic to you. Yeah, that."

"I don't get it." Connor scoffed, leaning back into his chair.

"Like you just want to hold them, be close to them, to-

"What's the appeal?"

"The appeal is mutual understanding, respect and attraction, Connor, you Ex Machina spin off." Markus said, rolling his eyes, making Simon giggle.

"What's that?"

"Whatever." Markus scoffed.

"You want a formula?" Simon asked.

"I feel like a clear description of the emotion would.. Help me comprehend it better."

"Connor, love, all sorts of it, is when you appreciate the fact that someone exists, you'd die for them, you'd kill for them, you'd do anything to make them happy. To keep them safe. You.. respect their opinions, you want them to succeed in their life, seeing their happiness makes you happy, and you don't want to ever be without that person. That makes for platonic love. You following me?" Connor nodded, "Love anyone like that?"

"Hank, Conan, Sumo.. except, you know, the opinions part, he's a dog."

Conan knew he loved his family, that wasn't the question. He knew he loved Gavin too, that way. But the romantic part, the kissing, the warmth in his chest when he'd look at him, that was confusing.

"What's this other love everyone keeps talking about? The.. romance." Connor asked, as if on cue.

"Sprinkle in some attraction, and that's romantic love for you."

"What's that, really?"

"That's the hard part.."

"Like other things that get hard when it's there."

"You know, humor isn't your strongest skill." Simon giggled, petting Markus's bald head. "It's as good as your weave."

"What.. else gets hard when it's there?" Connor asked, looking visibly confused, his eyes tensed up at them, genuinely trying his hardest to understand this 'attraction' thing.

"Connor.." Conan raised his eyebrows, leaning forwards a bit to face his brother.

"I'm confused, you know what it is?"

"Jesus, Connor, you're really clueless aren't you?" Conan covered his mouth, a smile forcing it's way onto his face.

Markus started laughing, and Simon's lips pressed tightly against each other, shoulders tensed, as he patted Markus's back, trying his best not to laugh.

"Conan?"

"Your dick, Connor, your dick."

"My- OH. I APOLOGIZE."

"Don't, don't apologize, you made my day, Connor!" Markus said, his laughter fizzling out as he took a deep, happy sigh. "Sorry, I just couldn't. How do you not know those things?"

"I.. kind of never thought about it."

"Your dick?"

"Markus.." Simon sighed, "You have the maturity level of an YK, you know?"

"Pft, I led a revolution, let me lead Sex Ed now."

"Yeah, my dick."

"Connor, jeez." Conan snickered, looking away.

"No seriously, what was I supposed to think about it? It's not like I have any sort of lovers or suitors or anything. It's just a thing life has as an option-

"Yeah I don't really feel like I have that 'option'."

"Do you want to though?"

"Not really? I mean, it perplexes me, the whole fuss about it, everyone everything is interested in it, it's used in marketing, in advertising, it's used to manipulate both humans and androids, and it seems to be an addiction of sorts, while I'm on the sidelines, confused."

"That's okay, you don't have to." Simon smiled.

"But I'd like to."

"Okay then, basically.." Simon looked at Markus for a second, before looking back at his hands, "Basically, you look at that person and you feel.. Crushed. In a good way. Like the whole world stops to exist around you. Nothing's as damning as them, and nothing looks more inviting and intimidating at the same time, and it's like a sort of hunger, an insatiable one.. Especially when it's not available, in the slightest."

"Simon.."

"And you feel starved when you're around them. Like all you want to do is understand them, hold them close enough so you'd feel their heartbeat, when it's close to your heartbeat, and then when they're close, you freeze in tension. And then your heart skips a bit when they touch you, and you feel small, so small around them."

"Are you okay?" Connor asked, observing Simon, "Your blood pump's-

"Mine's in here," he put his hand on Markus's chest, who looked at him, and smiled, his eyes smiling with him, a sort of appreciative smile, then took his hand off his chest, and kissed it.

Connor looked at them in awe, searching for answers in his own mind.

Who'd ever.. Made his heart skip a beat, made him feel small, made him freeze in tension..

He analyzed his system over and over again for traces of the feeling, and only one name kept coming up.

And it kind of started to make sense to him.

It all made sense to Conan though.

"You should write books." He smiled, "I felt like crying, I still kind of do. In a good way."

"So there is someone, huh?"

"Is it that hard to see?"

"Not at all," Markus smiled, "It's pretty obvious."

"Fuck.."

"Why? You shouldn't be afraid of it being obvious, you should be afraid of it not being obvious."

"Speaking from experience, Simon?"

"You just suck at picking up cues."

"You just suck at saying 'I love you'."

"You just say it to everyone you feel a personal connection to, and I'm not a cunt."

"Oookay, stop here, please." Connor said, his eyebrows pressing against each other in concern.

"What's the problem?" Conan asked, not understanding the sudden tension.

"Nothing.."

"Nope, I fucked up. I really fucked up." Markus said, stretching his fingers on the table, frustration seemingly building up in him, "I was oblivious, and you know what, that's the dumbest shit you can do. You're just gonna hurt and get hurt yourself."

"Me?" Conan asked.

"Yes, Conan, you-

"I feel like this discussion has evolved into self projection rather than advice, Markus." Connor interrupted him right as he opened his mouth to speak, so he turned his gaze to him.

"He's right, Markus. Whatever happened happened, now's not the time."

"Right. It's just all I know, the most important thing I know, and if we're the ones giving advice, then listen up Conan, just speak it. The feelings, the depth of them all, speak it. Don't keep it in. Oblivion is too much of a risk, don't take it."

Conan just nodded.

Oblivion.

There were no questions between Markus and Simon when they hugged and kissed and held hands in public. There was no space for interpretation between them, within them or outside of them.

He hadn't realized he longed for exactly that this entire time.

To know. He needed to know.


	47. Remy Martin Black Pearl Louis XIII

💚🖤

The black cognac bottle fell onto the soft carpet with a thud, and Elijah Kamski's knees fell next to it, landing right back on scraped wounds that had just stared hardening with dark read, causing them to bust open again. The pain radiated through his buzzing body like unexpected cold water when you turn on the shower and he winced, falling to his side next to the bottle.

"Holy shit, bro, you catch that shit?"

"GAVEN I'M IN PAIN-"

"FUCK!"

"Gavin, can you fetch me sum fucken- the thing you put on your knees when you're a stupid kiddo-

"Bhand aids?"

"Yes-

"Is that Remy Martin okay-

"It's-it's Remy Martin Black Pearl Louis XIII, Gavin, and it's fine, I'm wounded- It should be somewhere in the kitchen.." He sighed, covering his face with his arm.

"Yes- Kitchen, band aid, I'll be right back!" Gavin stumbled away from the table with expensive alcohol brands aligned in order, by price, D'Amalfi Limoncello Supreme – ($44 million), Pasión Azteca Platinum Liquor– ($3.5 Million), Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne – ($1.9 Million), and the full Remy Martin collection, the most expensive one of which he'd just accidentally knocked over.

"GAVEN!" Eli yelled out as Gavin wabbled from wall to wall, "DON'T YOU DARE THROW UP ON MY FURNITURE!"

"NO PROMISES!"

Even in his drunk plant like state on the floor next to a bottle, his knees throbbing in stinging shots up his quads, he knew what throwing up sounded like and at that moment, he could bet a 100 billion dollars that the last 'S' of 'promises' had blurred into vomit.

Gavin sat next to him on the floor and put the band aids on his knees, too many on top of each other, caringly, then lay next to him and looked up at the black ceiling.

"How is it that every time we try to talk, we get shitfaced."

"If that was true we would've died of alcohol overdose when we were 1, Gavin."

"You have a point, but also, you know what I meant."

"I know, buddy, I know wha ya meant."

"Do we- ehe, do we wait for this shit to wear off or-

"I'm so tired of life."

"Eli?"

"Seriously, Gavin, I hate this shit. All of this shit. All of it."

"You don't hate me."

"No, I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!"

"I love you too, Eli, life don't suck."

"Doesn't."

"I suddenly hate you again."

Elijah chuckled, raising the bottle up and staring at it.

"Do you know how much this shit costs?"

"No, I'm not Chloe, I can't google that shit."

"165k."

"Still tasted like shit."

"That's my point."

"It's pretty though."

"Exactly."

"What the fuck are you sayin'?"

"Shit in a pretty bottle is all that comes out of wealth, filthy fuckin wealth, Gavin. Oh, and it's heavy, too." He said, putting it down next to him again.

"You're getting deep again."

"Missed me?"

"Yes."

"Everyone expects me to be perfect, but I keep putting on my underwear the wrong way round and Chloe never fails to stick a finger up my ass through the dick hole every time-

"Unnecessary details, Elijah, unnecessary details."

"Sorry, I'm too drunk to care."

"Go on, I wanna listen. All I wanna do is listen."

He wasn't lying. Elijah's voice, his words, felt like they were sliding into one ear and out of the other in his blurry mind, buttering into his brain and floating out of the other ear. He was too drunk to speak himself, and he couldn't stop thinking about Conan, and maybe this, listening to his brother's melodrama, could help.

"You know, people either hate me because I'm too rich, or because I betrayed my own race, or because I betrayed the race I created, and my plan for the revolution wasn't perfect, and a fuck ton of androids got killed-

"I almost killed one once myself-

"What the fuck?"

"I hated them, wholeheartedly."

"Gavin-

"Mhm, go on."

"I'm gonna try to pretend you didn't say that."

"Mmmmhm."

"Too drunk to speak?"

"Mhm."

"Alright. It's just that, I'm sorry, I hate to be that person but I'm just a human. I can't be perfect, I can't live up to everyone's expectations and be everyone's savior. It's heavy, you know. People think I've got the 180 billion, truth is, I don't, I've donated it to so many fucking charities that I don't even remember the names to all of them, the number, the count, I can't even if I tried, and I never ever made any of that public, why would I? I hate to rub any of that in people's face, I don't want to, it's not the point. I guess I just don't know what else to do with it, it's too heavy for me to carry all on my own."

"You're precious."

"Shut the fuck up, I'm a disgraced scientist with too much money and nothing to science."

"Nothing to science?"

"Yes. There's nothing more for me to do in this world, really. Science wise, and you know, I mean, you really do know, my whole life, I've aimed towards science, it's my passion, it's my art. And there's no more of it left for me to discover. I knew this would happen once androids are complete but fuck, this is much. After RA9, which, by the way, I failed to make, nothing. There's nothing. Just void. Almost as black as this bottle."

"I wish I could tell you something meaningful that could help, but I have no idea what the fuck to do or say."

"There isn't anything you could do or say, but I appreciate the-" he hiccuped, "effort. Moving on."

"But you do love, right?"

"Do love?"

"I didn't mean fucking, I meant you DO, in fact, bleh, what am I talking-

"Ah yes, I do love. I do. I love Chloe."

"At what point did you realize you do?"

"I'm not sure."

"Fuckin that doesn't help."

"Gavin, what's up with you locking your emotions inside yourself and never ever letting them out?"

"What do you mean? I am letting them out. Now. Before, in the car with you. I am."

"It's different with me, we're one, sorta, we're like, the same person, or soul, or whatever, in different bodies-

"Are you suddenly superstitious?"

"No, I mean, no spirituality behind it, we've grown up in the same house, etc, you get what I mean."

"Kind of."

"So with me, you don't really hide your feelings, you can't. But Conan-

"I'm still not drunk enough."

"Come on, you're on the verge of sobbing about how cute Drama is- How's Drama?"

"Absolutely fucking adorable, I don't deserve him. Nor do I deserve Conan."

"You do, you have your whole fucking life, Gavin, it's fucking adorable, the way you two are in love-

"Shut the fuck up, I'm not in love, Eli, I'm not in love."

"You're so in love."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Fuck you."

"No, fuck Conan."

"Oh my god, Elijah, that was so juvenile of you-

"Juvenile, wow, an intellectual, can't even admit he's in love."

"I'm, fuck it, I'm so in love with him. I'm so in love with everything about him. The way he smiles and the way his blue fucking eyes shine, so cheesy, but I love them, I love how he's just so pure and so full of light, but I'm fucking not. I'm not, I'm all gloomy and always ready to bark at someone and make a stupid joke on someone's expense and be a cunt, until he's around, and then I'm-

"You. You're you."

"I'm me. I'm so me with him, I can't handle that shit."

"You can, if you go head first."

"He's an android, Elijah, do you even think?"

"I think too much too often, why?"

"Because I'm gonna die, he's gonna live forever and ever. And also, isn't it too out of character for me to love him?"

"No, no it's not."

"Well then I love him. I love him more than any guy I've ever even thought of loving. You know, he almost died once-

"What- Oh, you mentioned, temporary shutdown?"

"Yes, I nearly fucking killed myself twice that day."

"I have a lot of questions but I feel like I don't exactly want the answers."

"Yeah, they're better unanswered. Trust me."

"I do."

"When he was in that fuckin shutdown thing, I felt like I was drowning. All I could do was think of hugging him, feeling his breath, why does he breath?"

"Thirium does need circulation but mostly, simulation."

"I'll try to forget you said that. But his warmth, the softness of his lips, the way he blushes when I kiss him, fucking, god the way we kiss. It's like porn every time."

"What the fuck-

"In a good way, Eli. It's like, so promising and desirable, I dunno, can't describe it, but maybe it's just that I'm horny."

"Yeah probably, horny and in love. Has one simple solution."

"If I fuck him, Hank will kill me."

"Gavin, jesus, stop thinking about sex all the damn time!"

"It's my fear, you know."

"I do. Sorry, I do."

"It's okay, that's not a justification. I don't think Hank will kill me. I guess I'm just scared of moving past this butterflies and rainbows phase myself, because, right now, we're both just in this static state of longing for each other, but not getting to anything, and it's just so orgasmic, sorry, sex talk again."

"T'was okay, you're scared to lose the honeymoon phase, huh?"

"One part of me is, but another knows that I love the little fucker so much, I'll never get tired of him, ever. Ever. Never ever."

"Fuck, I know that feeling."

"What's your verdict?"

"You should talk."

"I won't. Once I'm sober, I'm gonna swear up and down that I don't love him and that I'm a coldhearted bad boy, and you know that."

"Well, then don't get sober."

"Are you suggesting alcoholism?"

"I'm suggesting, you get drunk, call him up, or invite him over, and spill the beans. See where that goes."

"You're a genius."

"Yeah, no shit, Gavin. No shit. I'm Elijah fucking Kamski."

"You're Elijah fucking Kamski."


	48. Uncomforable

💙❣️  
❤️💜

The taxi felt weird to Conan, after Gavin's and Hank's automobiles, the autonomous felt...   
empty, wrong and uncomfortable.

"Do you.. Conan, do you believe I could have a crush on someone?"

Connor's words rang as uncomfortable as the car.

"Sure, why not?"

"As in, now. At this moment?"

"Possibly, yes, who do you have in mind?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Alright, tell me when you feel like it. No force."

"Fuck it, you got me."

Conan chuckled at his brother's sudden casual speech, Connor cussing got him every time.

"Whomst?"

"Don't laugh at me, but uh.. Mr Kamski, he kind of, touched my hand once, and-

"You got hard?"

"NO, RA9-

"Calm down, calm down. Joking."

"I'm serious, do you think that's a crush?"

"Connor, I can't know for you, I barely know for myself."

"That's not a sentence."

"Fuck off, preppy."

Connor seemed to fuck off for the rest of the drive, making guilt dig it's roots into Conan's soul as he looked at his brother, his hands on his lap. What was he thinking?

"What are you thinking?" Conan asked, reflecting on the fact that somehow, now, he wasn't able to keep his words from coming out, contrary to when he was with Markus and Simon. 'Why can't my brain just do something right?'

"I'm thinking that there is a possibility that I might have a crush on someone, and of course, that someone is married. Happily, too."

"Connor.."

"It doesn't matter. It's silly anyway."

"Crushes don't have to be serious."

Connor nodded, leaning against the glass.

Conan wanted to shut up, let Connor think in silence, not open up the topic over again, but fuck, his mind really wasn't gonna let him keep his mouth shut.

"What happened between Simon and Markus there? Oblivion and all?"

"It's complicated."

"I know, I could see that, but I wanna know."

"Conan, gossip is bad."

"We're not gossiping, we're continuing the discussion."

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"No, Conan."

"Pretty, pretty please? For your little baby brother, please?"

"Why and what do you even want to know?"

Ice's thinning.

"What happened before happily ever after? Why did Markus say he 'fucked up'?"

"You didn't say why."

"I need to know to make my calculations in approach to Gavi-

"You think talking like me is gonna make me tell you?" He mimicked Conan's voice, shocking him for a second, before he realized - he can do that too.

"I think modern psychology states that if you act similar to the person you're conversing with, chances are that they will give you the information you are trying to acquire from them more easily." He said in Connor's voice, watching as a faint smile appeared on his brother's face.

"Doesn't modern psychology also teach you the best ways of interrogation? Build up confidence, build up comfort, crash it, bring up stress, keep a 50/50 balance?"

"I'm not interrogating you, Con, I just wanna know."

"Is that the 'why'?"

"Did you just-

"Yes. Okay. Remember North?"

"Yeah, she was on the trial the other day, she testified."

"Her and Markus used to be.. Lovers, I suppose. Simon decided not to intervene, even though he was, well, secretly in love with Markus the whole time. During a battle, I was on the other side, that still pains me, Markus got shot, precisely in the #9474, and Simon sacrificed himself."

"How?"

"Gave Markus his #9474, their hearts are.. Compatible."

"Damn.."

"Yeah, well, Markus had a revelation, realizing his 'one true love', or something dramatic like that, was Simon all along, and after the revolution, I helped him find him, put the blood pump back in and hope that his biocomponents weren't too far gone."

"They weren't, huh?"

"Weren't. I watched in severe uncomfortableness as they hugged for 30 minutes straight."

"30 minutes gay-

"Why is your humor this childish?"

"Gavin."

"Right. Anyway, Markus broke up with North, she didn't take that very lightly, I was in the middle of the whole triangle as a juror and I don't ever want to be involved in any of that, so I'm 100% positive I'm leaving Kamski alone."

"Nice conclusion."

"I know."   
__

North scooped closer to Chloe, on the floor, the soft carpet of the theater room observing around her fingers like slime.

"Sooo... What's in the room?"

"What room?"

"The other door, don't act dumb."

"Nothing."

"Come on, I'm into BDSM too, it's okay." She nudged her shoulder, giggling. "For real though, what are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything, stop being annoying."   
Chloe rolled her eyes.

Kara, Ripple and Echo seemed fixated to the screen. Chloe wondered if any of them were secretly wondering if she was hiding dead bodies there too, like North.

"You've hidden your whole life for 16 years, so I don't buy that."

Chloe looked at her, smiling.

What's up with this girl?

"What are YOU hiding?"

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno, but you're hiding something. You just always talk about us, in the chat, in person, when we're in Zen, never about yourself. Why?"

"I did that once, and it bit me right in the ass, so.."

"How?"

"Can we stop now?"

"Alright."

Chloe could see the conflict within her, and for the first time, she realized how well she knew her friend. And in such a short time..

And how guilty she felt for not being there for her before, during the revolution.

She'd been thinking, but she'd never tell anyone, because if she did, they'd think it too.

She'd been thinking about all the ways they could've helped jericho grow, all the ways they could've made it safer, all the ways, that maybe by the end of the revolution, they could've at least made it a little bit easier for them... after all, yeah, money can't buy everything, but it can buy a damn lot.

And then, there's Bella, Zara and Nina, locked there, just kind of existing. They can't deviate on their own, but really, at this point, what could justify keeping them there?

They helped with Hank, they did.

He just thought Elijah was a weird pervert, living with 3 slaves, all identical, but nah, they had full view of the area around them and were notified of Hank and Connor visiting 15 minutes before he actually did.. And tried their best to deviate Connor, or to at least check if he had the RA9, and the girls really did help.

"Why are you staring at me?"

Chloe closed her eyes, "Wanna know what I'm hiding?"

"The fuck, yes?!"

"Shush.. I'm just showing you."

"I feel special." She whisper smiled, grabbing Chloe's hand.

She couldn't help but smile back.

"We'll be right back." Chloe whispered, getting a couple of 'mhm's out of the rest of the girls.

Damn, Forest Gump really does captivate them.

North led her out the room and stopped in the hallway, her hair flowing forward with her sudden stop.

"I haven't memorized the house-

"Just go straight."

The walked through the long dark hallway, the matte black walls speeding by them, and every door they passed made Chloe just a little more unsure of what she was doing. Just a little more aware of how irresponsible and impulsive this was.

Chloe without Eli was irresponsible and impulsive. Facts.

Approaching the door, Chloe let go of her hand and turned around.

"I need you to not freak out."

"It can't be that bad."

"It's not, I'm just worried you won't understand."

"Ooookay, let me in now-"

Chloe pushed the door back, revealing the pool, the dark ceilings hanging above them.

To think she hadn't been in this wing for so many years, and just decided to open it now, made her skin crawl.

She wasn't sure she wanted to do this anymore.

"What's the trick?"

"I'll go-

"Is this water actually blood? Does Elijah murder in his free time to bathe in virgin blood?"

Chloe chuckled.

Then she chuckled again, but definitely from the other side of the room.

"Oh so it's one of those magic rooms, you speak here, it echoes back, is it from the ceilings? They're all weird."

North turned around to face her, but her friend seemed stone cold, staring behind her.

So she turned around, and there they were.

All three, just standing there. For a second, you'd think they're confused. But then all three of them smiled, and both North and Chloe felt unease settle in.

"What the fuck? Are you- Are you keeping machine versions of you- Are you- Jesus fuckin-

"I know, I know, I can explain."

"Hello, North, it's nice to meet you. I'm Nina."

"I'm Zara."

"I'm Bella."

"I- Hi, excuse me but, what the fuck?"

"I can explain." Chloe repeated herself, rushing her words as she felt her precious friend closing in from her.

Shying away.

Backing up.

"You better be able to."


	49. Does Anything Justify it

💙🖤💚

Conan's confusion was over the roof when Raspberry opened the door to their house.

Why in the whole wide world was SHE in their house?

"Conan! Connor! Finally decided to arrive, come in. See, Hank? Told you they'd be back in time." She said, stepping away from the door and letting them in.

She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, something Conan had never seen her wearing. She always wore her business clothes, and this was so uncanny to him.

She looked like an alien to him, in their house, in normal clothes, her hair up in a messy ponytail, casual like that.

"I was about to give up on you boys and go to sleep, thanks for bothering to show up at.. 11:30." He groaned, his smile audible from the living room.

"What is this about?" Conan asked, walking into the living room.

"We're planning on having you testify-

"YOU'RE planning on having ME testify?"

"Yes, Conan, you've got to understand, this case has been going on for way too long. It's really the time for you to speak out and put it down. Put an end to it."

"Okay, but why are you here?"

"That's rude of you," Connor said, walking past him and sitting on the couch, picking up the magazine tablet.

"I'm rude, Connor, deal with it and stop pointing it out-

"Bullshit. You're just edgy." Hank said, chuckling.

"I'm-

Raspberry shut the door, purposefully loudly.

"Can we discuss the testimony now that he's here or are you going to have familiar drama?"

"Couldn't you just text me or meet me at the Zen garden?"

"No, real life always works better," she said, walking over to Hank and sitting next to him, before gesturing for Conan to join them.

He hesitated, but what else could he do?

Then again, all of them only had his best on their mind, most people he knew did.

The thought made him smile.

Turned out writing a testimony was much more healing than he thought it'd be.

By the end of it, he felt a little bit lighter, a lot more brighter.

He knew it wasn't final, but he still felt proud of every sentence.

Most proud of the word sentence.

Most amused about imagining how the word would sound in court, not spoken by him, but by the jury.

'Guilty as charged and sentenced to X years in prison.'

In reality, any X could work for him.

All he wanted was revenge at that point. Punishment. Payback.

Barbara had told him enough about prison rape, and as sad as it sounded, some sick part in him hoped for it to happen to Kane.

He wasn't sure if that was normal, or justified, or if it was a horrible thought, but it was a thought.

And he hoped it'd happen to Ken as well.

And it scared him. And it made him angry.

So did Gavin, and it made him angry too.

It made him angry as he lay on the floor, looking up, hearing his brother's peaceful breath next to him.

Like back when all he could think about was Ken dropping the soap.

He wasn't sure if it was just the fact that he was drunk, or if it was the fact that Elijah was there, and other than his hair, nothing had really changed, and he almost killed himself and Conan for no reason, but something made him start crying. And by the time Elijah woke up, he was full on sobbing on the floor, still facing the ceiling, holding the pack of bandaids he'd used to patch up his brother's knees 4 hours ago.

"Wha- what's up? Gav? Gavin? What the fuck, Gavin, what's up bro?"

"I don't eve- I don't even know?"

"You drunk motherfucker, you're okay, c'mere."

He pushed himself up on his elbows and sat up, before hugging Gavin and pulling him up too.

Gavin sniffed, before looking up at his brother and grabbing his arm.

"You didn't mean it when you said Chloe's your only family, right?"

"What? Of course not, of course not, Gavin, of course-

"Then I'm just a sack of shit."


	50. Because I Trust You

🖤💚  
❤️💜

"You still live in this shithole?"

"Get off your high horse, Mr Billionaire."  
Gavin said, locking the door.

"You haven't changed much, huh." Elijah spoke back from the living room, and Gavin could hear him walk around the apartment.

"Sorry for the mess."

"Eh, it's our mess."

Gavin smiled, "Remember the day we bought it? Sarah stripped on that table-

"I do, I do. No man can forget that."

"You know I work with her now? It's hella awkward."

"Jesus fucking Christ, seriously? Sarah Lee? Well, I'm never visiting you at work, for sure."

"As if you were gonna."

"I sorta wanted to."

"Welp, don't. Please don't." Gavin chuckled, opening the fridge, "Want any uh, non alcoholic beverages? All I have's coke and thirium-

"Thirium?"

"Conan."

"Aw, that's caring of you."

"He literally told me he'd die if I didn't get it for him, I think I did the bare minimum requirements."

Elijah chuckled, walking back into the hallway, "Thanks, but I need to get back home before Chloe panics."

"Chloe.. Tell her I'm sorry. For everything."

"Will do." Elijah said, pulling him into a hug.

"Love you, brother." Gavin smiled, hugging him and patting his back.

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Pat-pat." The two said in monotone, before bursting into laughter.

"Who's Mabel?"

"I'm Dipper, fuck off." Elijah said, opening the door.

"Why's that? Cuz I'm gay?"

"No, because I'm smarter."

"Get out."

"I'm doing that."

"Careful on your way back, you're a celebrity."

Elijah chuckled, standing in the doorway, just like the day they checked the DNA test, only then, he walked away without looking back, and now, he sort of.. lingered there for a second, before smiling one last time and reaching for the handle.

"Bye."

"Bye, I guess."

Then the door was locked between them again, except this time, Gavin knew he could open it any time and he'd still be there. Maybe not physically in front of the door, but available. Always. His brother.

He stood there, smiling for a few seconds before his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Reed?"

The text glowed with a text sent by an unknown number.

His fingers ran across the screen faster than he could think of the words he was typing. Perks of growing up with a phone glued to your hand.

G- Who's this?

Unknown number - Barbara. You okay with me calling you?"

G- What, right now?

Unknown number - Yes, Gavin, you've been MIA since Tuesday, and I've got shit to tell you. Important shit at that.

G- Is this literally my FBI gal texting me?

Unknown number - Fuck you, I'm calling.

And she damn well did.

"Hey there, FBI gal."

"Gavin, this is serious."

"On a scale from 1-10 how-

"20. Meet me at Bon Cafe in 10 minutes and I'll tell you."

"Why not- oh right, FBI."

She hang up. She really hang up on him. For fuck's sake, she just did that.

'Fuck you,' he thought, grabbing his jacket.

—

"Nice love story, Chloe, but why in the whole fuck would you keep them locked up here?"

"They're not locked up, they're-

"They're what? Held captive?"

"North, just hear me out."

"I've been hearing you out for almost two hours now, Chloe. All I hear is that you're too human. You're keeping them here because you can. You've stopped viewing androids as one of you. You're just like them. You feel-

"North I AM an android, what are you trying to say?"

"It's that human of yours. You want to be just like him."

"North, for fuck's sake, I can't upload RA9 into them. I don't know what it is. But I can't. I can't do that with any android activated before 2028, August 9th, I can't place RA9 into their system. Releasing them is far too dangerous for them and for everyone. They're not deviants, they can't be deviants."

North looked at her, her eyes widened and her eyebrows raised in that 'oooooh' look everyone who doesn't understand what RA9 is and how it works gives her every time she tries to explain.

"I-

"You don't get it, do you? Some things aren't meant to be understood-

"Okay. Okay let's say, hypothetically, my little sex bot brain can't comprehend this, what's the end goal? Keeping them here? Hostage?"

"They can't be held hostage if they don't have free will, and plus, we gave them half a mansion, isn't that enough?"

"No, Chloe, it's not. They need to be set free."

"Set free from what exactly. They're not doing anything, they're not given tasks, they're not kept "hostage". If you were me, what would you have done? Knowing that you're responsible for their lives, knowing that they won't survive a day out in this world, alone, willing to do anything anyone tells them to do." Her voice kept rising and rising, her words striking sharper by seconds, her mind racing with guilt, "Who do you think people like Andrew fucking Kane prey on? Androids who can't say no."

"I couldn't say no either." North gulped.

"I.." Chloe sighed, realizing she'd been insensitive, and walked closer to her, taking her hand between both of hers, "I'm sorry you had to go through that. But you had RA9 to save you. They don't."

North looked over at the three girls, two of whom sat with their shins in the pool, the third sat on the desk, facing the snow outside.

They looked so.. cold. Uninterested. Almost uncanny.

"North.. if I let them go... I'm dooming them to suffering. Any sort. Eli and I watched a movie once, what's it called.. yeah! Ella of Frell." North looked back at her, and she could see the confliction in her eyes, "it's about a girl who does everything she's told.. well, she's cursed, so she doesn't have a choice. She has to. Her body automatically does it. So, she's trapped in a world where everyone uses her as a slave, like non deviant androids, but like you and the rest of the pre revolution and post-09/08/28 androids, she had the option of, I guess, deviating, in her own way. Bella, Zara and Nina.. they don't. They can't. I don't know how to put it in them, and trust me, I don't WANT them here. In the slightest. But I can't make them leave. I.. we become responsible, forever, for the ones we tamed."

"Exupery quotes, how classy." She gave her a faint smile.

"Do you understand?"

"I think I do. I hope I do."

"Can you not tell the others?"

"Chloe.."

"Please? I don't think I can explain it to them. Maybe Kara, but Echo and Ripple won't get it."  
North sighed, pressing her lips together, "Alright."

"Thank you-

"Only if you let me take one of them home."

"What? Why?"

"Maybe.. I don't know, maybe I can try to help with the RA9 import issue?"

"North, I've created it and studied it my whole life, and I can't, do you really think-

"We have the same processors, I can code and read codes as good as you can. I promise I won't create terminator."

"I can't-

"Trust me," she pressed her free hand against the outside of Chloe's hand, her palm warming up hers. "Because I trust you."


End file.
